Filed under: Rock Stars, Rock Stars

 The papparazzi lurk hidden in bushes outside of Los Angeles hot spots, waiting for the moment their celebrity prey begins to exhibit any behavior outside the norm of Hollywood power and glamour. These photos end up in tabloids under headlines such as, “Celebrity Flaws Exposed!!” and the magazines fly off the shelves.  If paparazzi photos sell tabloids, imagine how they could be used to sell movies, concerts, CDs and books! I hear the entertainment industry has been lagging in sales, so perhaps they might consider a new approach to marketing.  I saw this National Enquirer photo of Rod Stewart picking his nose in public while wearing a billowing white linen “puffy shirt” and my mind spun with possibilities. This is first in my series “Operation Paparazzi”. More to come soon…

Filed under: Tara Reid, Tara Reid Art

I spent most of my weekend engaged in time travel. I always kick myself when I forget to bring my digital camera along, but this time I slipped it in my pocket.  Traveling through so many hyperdimensional wormholes can really wear a girl out, so I thought I’d stop and get some coffee. The only place open in Los Angeles in the year 2025 was a seedy bar on Sunset, so I walked in, sat at the bar and saw Tara Reid sitting at the other end.  I snapped her photo and figured I’d share it with you.

Filed under: Tara Reid, Tara Reid Art

  Tara Reid has given up her ambition to become a serious actress and has finally embraced her image as overindulgent party girl. Smart move.  Why be anything other than yourself? She has fun, travels the globe in pursuit of reckless hedonism, and amuses (or disgusts) us with paparazzi photos of her falling down drunken antics. Thing is….one doesn’t need talent to do what she does, so why does she have her own TV show?  And have you seen the Taradise promotional image? I think they should replace the sleek airbrushed photo of Tara with one of those paparazzi photos. That way, we can see just how bloated and boozy Taradise really is.haw haw!!

Filed under: Jude Law

Here is a page torn from my best-selling book, 14’s Field Guide to Showbiz Snakes. Pictured is Jude Law as the Common Trouser Snake…. but alas, in mid-printing, our team discovers shocking nude photos of Mr. Law circulating the Internet, and after careful examination, we replaced the above page with a revision. See below:

Filed under: Jocelyn Wildenstein

Manhattan socialite Jocelyn Wildenstein has undergone millions of dollars worth of plastic surgery to transform her once normal human face into the face of a cat.  She creates such a shocking spectacle whenever she goes out in public
that I decided she needs to start placing posters about town announcing
her upcoming appearances.  The New York press dubbed her "The Bride of Wildenstein" and recently, the National Enquirer delicately referred to her as a "rubber faced freak".  She scares the hell out of people, but she’s just a harmless, eccentric and delusional lady with too much money who parades around Manhattan with that shocking mug of hers and cares not what anyone thinks.

But does she look like a cat?  Take this handy quiz and see if you can tell the difference between Jocelyn Wildenstein and a common feline. Don’t worry, the quiz is so easy that even Jessica Simpson can pass it.

Filed under: Uncategorized

This morning, Page Six columnist Cindy Adams wrote a little news item about Barbra Streisand…

"CHUBBY Streisand can’t stuff into pal Donna Karan’s creations and may switch to Omar the Tentmaker. Fat must be contagious. Husband James Brolin also ballooned . . ."

MEOW!!! Well, after reading such vitriol, I HAD to draw it. Had to. No question. 

Filed under: Celebrity Endorsements

Marketers are missing out on the large demographic of aging and soon-to-be aging hipsters. Cool people don’t want to be seen purchasing Depends for their bouts of incontinence, no, they need something more targeted to their sensibilities. Introducing Fergie’s Rockin’ Adult Diapers, the first fitted briefs designed exclusively for the needs of the savvy Baby Boomer and early Gen-X market segment.  Ever since Fergie’s little on-stage accident, greater awareness of this issue has been raised, and hopefully marketers will cash in.