Filed under: Gallery Shows

I am showing Courtney Love at the Blonde Bombshell show at the M Modern gallery in Palm Springs. If you’re in the area, you don’t want to miss this show. Mamie Van Doren is hosting it, how can you not attend?!?!  Other artists showing work include some of my favorites: Kipling West, Lisa Pettruci, Naoto Hatori, Poptarts, Glenn Barr and more. The opening reception is January 14, 7 - 10 pm. UPDATE: Courtney sold.  I wonder who bought it?

Filed under: Star Jones, Star Jones Art

Gallery of the Absurd Publications is pleased to announce the premier issue of BABE magazine. BABE was produced with the “discreet” gentleman in mind and features full-color pin-ups of their favorite types of gals, along with useful and informative articles about how to stay “discreet” while in the public eye.  We decided to put Star Jones on the cover of BABE because she loves to show off her hot new bod at the beach.  Tom Cruise, Al Reynolds, and David Gest are all big fans of BABE magazine!

Filed under: Star Jones, Star Jones Art

While in the middle of painting the Star Jones pin-up for Babe Magazine (see above), I felt I needed to look at her face once again before adding the finishing touches.  I wanted some recent photos, so I went to getty images.  When I pulled up the photos, I nearly fell over backwards!!  WHAT HAS SHE DONE TO HER FACE? It’s too late at night for me to be looking at photos as blood-curdling at these!  I know faces change appearance after dramatic weight loss, but Star looks really different.  I compared the much maligned Star-in-red-bathing-suit image from a few weeks ago with the photos from her recent book signing and she looks like a different person.  She looks like a very startled big-eyed alien. I hereby bequeath her a new moniker: Startled Jones.Version ONE: too tameVersion TWO: perfectPhoto proof:  

Filed under: Tara Reid, Tara Reid Art

While on vacation I was flipping through a few gossip tabloids. Most of the photos and articles are pretty much the same dreck week after week, but one small blurb caught my eye: Madonna Wine. Yep, that’s right. Now you can drink the essence of Madonna with her new “Confessions on a Dance Floor” line of collectible bottles.  Doesn’t this woman have enough money and exposure?  Ah well, I’ll take care of Madonna and her material empire in an upcoming post.Now let’s take a look at Tara Reid. If a company really wanted to sell booze, the best thing to do would be to put Reid’s mug on the label. A liquor company such as Absolut could license Tara’s image and then she could go on a worldwide drinking binge while promoting the company. The campaign would generate millions for the company even though they’d have to endure a few minor embarassments (Anna Nicole Smith and Trim Spa come to mind). Page Six referred to Tara as a C-List Booze Beast just recently, so it seems that Tara won’t be ridding herself of the “party girl” label any time soon. Tara honey, it’s time to cash in on your disgrace.

Filed under: Tara Reid, Tara Reid Art

Tara Reid and her cast of Pink Dancing Elephants wish you a happy and prosperous 2006. Tara says “May your heart be filled with love, your spirit filled with joy, and your liver bloated with alcohol..PARTY!!  WOOOOOOO!”Note to the nasty bloke in the U.K. who steals my Tara Reid images and then obscures my name and puts his own:  If you want to take them and add them to your collection of drunken Tara Reid photos, please link them back to Gallery of the Absurd. Besides, there’s an infinite number of drunk Tara Reid photos out there, so no need for you to swipe my illustrations, k?

Filed under: Jessica Simpson

Around this time last year, we were bombarded by images of Nick Lachey and Jessica Simpson cuddling up to each other in a plastic oversized sleigh. Nick wore a very lame Santa "beard" and Jessica was dressed as a ditzy snow bunny.  The show was heavily promoted - billboards, magazines, web, television…one could not get away from the creepily annoying and intrusive images.  Oh, and the show itself….insufferable!

I know all of you are disapointed there won’t be another Nick and Jessica’s Family Christmas ever again.  It was destined to become a beloved American classic television event and was sure to be enjoyed by generations of loyal followers. For this reason, we have dragged the image back out for you to enjoy during the holiday season.

Oh, and Blogosphere Insta-Celeb, Jeff Polage (see below) and I will be posting new mockeries of celebrity mugs very soon.

Filed under: Jessica Simpson

   
Since his divorce from Jessica Simpson was announced, Nick Lachey has trouble sleeping. He’s plagued with a terrifying recurrent nightmare involving his overbearing ex-father-in-law, Papa Joe Simpson. The nightmare goes as follows:

Papa Joe has planned a brand new episode of "Nick and Jessica’s Family Christmas". He flies into Nick’s room, hovers over his bed, and holds yet another ridiculous and embarrassing sweater for Nick to wear on the show.  "Nick, you will wear this sweater in the opening monologue. The audience will love it! Look, it’s got Christmas lights wired into it…and charming little Mr. and Mrs. Claus teddy bears!!  You WILL wear it Nick…you have no choice in the matter…PUT IT ON NOW!!!"  At this point, Nick tosses and turns, screams out in horror and wakes up in a cold sweat. It takes him a few moments to realize it was all just a dream.