Filed under: Beauty, Paris Hilton, Pop Quizzes

The most awesome part about Paris Hilton’s fake hair, “The Bandit,” is:

1) It’s got the same name as a dog with its own MySpace page;

2) Free crabs with each purchase!;

3) “Every Time” is spelled incorrectly;

4) Raquel Welch is gonna have to bust a cap in Paris’ ass now;

5) None of the above. The most awesome part is ____________.

P.S. — 14 is on vay-cay and I’m currently in Barcelona (quite the European traveler these days!), which is why we’re updating less frequently. I know… excuses, excuses!

P.P.S. — I actually don’t have a P.P.S., but I enjoy writing it because it reminds me of junior high, big hair, bad braces and note-passing in Algebra class.

Filed under: Sideshow Candy

Sideshow Candy is a video blog lampooning celebrity antics and entertainment.

Week of April 14, 2007 low/highlights: Ashlee Simpson gets a ring; Katie Couric gets the boot; and porn star wannabes get an education.

Filed under: Dumb Clowns, Media, Television

Just months after exploiting, er… helping Britney Spears in the hospital, “Doctor” Phil McGraw is trying to dig for ratings gold once again, posting bail for a Florida teenager jailed for beating another teen and posting it on the Web. Dr. Fool’s  spokeswoman said in e-mail:

“We have helped guests and potential guests in the past when they need financial assistance to come on the show — assisting with clothing allowance, lost wages, accommodations, travel and necessities.  In this case, certain staff members went beyond our guidelines (re: the bail being paid). These staff members have been spoken to and our policies reiterated. In addition, we have decided not to go forward with the story as our guidelines have been compromised.”

The show’s producers were — shocker! — in the process of booking guests for a program about the case.

In related news, zoologists have identified Dr. Phil as an “Opportunistic Chicken Hawk,” a species prevalent in Hollywood.

Filed under: Weekend Drivel

 

Finding the silver lining in spam — by illustrating it. [GOTA]

Sidekick drama: Listen as Artie Lange quits Howard Stern. [Celebrity Smack]

Indiana Jones on daddy duty.  Only instead of being pitted against the Nazis, he’s pitted against the paparazzi.  [Celebrity Baby Scoop]

Good-bye, world — hello, kitty!  The Hello Kitty tombstone.  [Candy]

Kathy Griffin on the town with Adnan Ghalib, making me long for the return of My Life on the D-List even more. [Celebitchy]

Britney Spears is morphing into Lindsay Lohan.  Which is better than the Cheeto she previously resembled.  [popbytes]

Mischa Barton in a bikini, looking healthier these days (as are other starlets).  Inevitable tabloid headline:  “IS YOUNG HOLLYWOOD GETTING FAT?” [POTP]

Auf Wiedersehen, Nina Garcia –Elle fires Project Runway’s Nina.  [Gabby Babble]

Filed under: Headline of the Day, Pop Culture

Hey, Mickey’s just following in the footsteps of other Disney stars.

[Source]

Filed under: Dumb Clowns

The faux rap star formerly known as Vanilla Ice — real name Robert Van Winkle, which explains why he goes by “Vanilla Ice” — was arrested last night at his Palm Beach home after an alleged altercation with his wife.

His wife, Laura, told police that he had kicked and hit her, but later told deputies he had only pushed her and that she wanted a divorce.

“He started yelling at me for going out to buy a bedroom set. In front of my daughter,” she reportedly told a deputy.

Vanilla Ice, who’s also starred in television shows such as VH-1’s “Where Are They Now?”, said his wife is bipolar and has argumentative episodes, and had thrown a picture frame from a rear balcony to the ground, where it shattered near him and their 8- and 10-year-old children. A case of Schlitz is also highly likely to have been involved, according to my cats.

Vanilla Ice has been wanted by authorities since 1990 for assaulting the world’s ears with “Ice, Ice Baby.” Sources claim Candy once went to his concert, but Candy was too busy hiding her head in shame to comment on the allegations.

Filed under: Daily Drivel

You can’t even pay people to be Paris Hilton’s BFF. Huh. People have more sense than I thought. [Celebitchy]

Jessica Alba eats breakfast for two. Glad I’m not the only one. (Hey, that Cinnamon Toast Crunch is addictive!) [Celebrity Baby Scoop]

Roseanne talks about her vaginal rejuvenation. Sweet dreams, everyone! [Celebrity Smack]

Britney Spears is slowly pulling herself together, making celebrity bloggers’ jobs much more mundane. Because it’s all about US, after all! [Celebrity Dirt]

Alicia Keys thinks gangsta rap was a ploy by the government to “convince black people to kill each other,” while I think it was a ploy by the fashion industry to sell a lot of tacky necklaces.  [POTP]

Courtney Love has a brown-stained finger. File this under:  Don’t want to know why.  [popbytes]

Clay Aiken leaves his handprint at Planet Hollywood.  Well, at least Kelly Ripa knows where that hand has been now.  [Gabby Babble]