Filed under: Bai Ling Pearl of Wisdom

We all need guidance in our life sometimes. We may seek it from friends, family, therapists, a higher being — and yet, the most powerful insight often comes from an unexpected source: Bai Ling. Which is why we’ve launched a column with pearls of wisdom from her blog.

An excerpt from yesterday’s entry titled, “My new dragen totoo“…

I don’t like the cold at all, would rather be burned in the sun and heat and eat red hot pot, in my home town in the hot summer in the middle of the night, other actors would knock my door and we go out on the streets eat the red fire hot spicy hot pot burning in front of you, just one second no matter what kind of thing you put in it, it just burns and you just eat it, so good, you nose you ear you mouth you ass all running like crazy as you were hopelessly but crying for happiness, but that’s the best drug you can have made in nature and made in China, yes!*

*Also nominated for Run-On Sentence of the Year

Filed under: Amy Winehouse, Drunk Clowns

Want to use her services?  You’re in luck!  I just came across this classified ad in The Daily Wino:

[Photo Source]

Filed under: Advertising

“I’m going to Menopauseland!”

No, Menopauseland is not the big-screen version of The Golden Girls-Meets-Vacation, but rather the brainchild of the Estroven advertising team, who apparently thinks menopause is a tropical island where middle-aged women have cathartic Felicity-esque internal dialogues with their friends and get happy endings from cabana boys.

Certainly gives a whole new meaning to “hot flash.”

Filed under: Twins

LEFT:  Marilyn Manson’s 20-year-old girlfriend, Evan Rachel Wood, who’s morphing into…

RIGHT:  Marilyn Manson’s ex-wife, “burlesque and fetish star,” Dita Von Teese

Filed under: Daily Drivel

And now this word from the Sex and the City ladies. [Candy]

Baby got bucks: Forbes lists the most expensive celebrity baby photos. [Celebrity Baby Scoop]

Former cult spokesperson says Scientology is a “destructive rip-off.”  Well, we know what he’s having for dinner tonight:  boiled rabbit! [Celebitchy]

Rob Lowe’s former nanny accuses him of exposing himself to her. Hey, we all say “hi” in different ways. [Celebrity Smack]

Paris Hilton says Kim Kardashian’s derriere looks like “cottage cheese inside a trashbag.” So sweet! In response, Kim should say, “Paris’ vagina looks like year-old leftovers at Joe’s Crab Shack.” [Gabby Babble]

Pete Wentz denies pregnancy rumors.  That’s right, folks — Pete is NOT pregnant.  [POTP]

Looks like Jennifer Lopez is already back to her slim self.  Inevitable People cover:  “HOW SHE LOST THE BABY WEIGHT!”  Which I will totally buy, of course. [popbytes]

Talk about Mad TV: Britney Spears reportedly kept a video diary of the past six months. [Dlisted]

Kate Hudson and Owen Wilson are reunited, and it feels so good.  And now Candy will have this song stuck in her head.  [Lainey]

Filed under: Deep Thoughts, Nicole Kidman

“Um, are we giving birth to a Tic Tac?”

Continued

Filed under: Britney Spears, Headline of the Day, Media

You report about what you believe she may have been thinking.  (And no comments from the peanut gallery about my “Deep Thoughts” column!  That’s different because, um, I’m writing it.  Yeah, that’s it.)