9 Comments
Posted by Candy ♦ April 2, 2008
Filed under: Daily Drivel
[Source]
Matthew McConaughey says he wants to die after sex. Which explains why he asks for God so much during the deed. [Cele|bitchy]
Lisa Rinna has a boy-toy on the side? Inevitable sex tape to follow. [Celebrity Smack]
Denise Richards on the cover of Shape, says she would never steal a friend’s husband. In related news, Denise’s nose spotted growing. [popbytes]
Salma Hayek’s little girl channels her inner Pebbles. [POTP]
Heather Mills threatens to break up Paul McCartney’s new relationship, sharpens her horns and pitchfork. [Gabby Babble]
Shopping with the Semi-Stars: Drew Lachey shops with his little girl. [Celebrity Baby Scoop]
Filed under: Beauty, Featured, Oprah
HOT PICK: Discarded Prepuce
Don’t let your looks get the shaft — snip away those fine lines with Foreskin for Your Skin!
Although the genesis and overwhelmingly sour smell of the cream initially made the Circus Hour team eloquently say, “Ew,” as soon as we heard ageless talk show hosts Oprah Winfrey and Barbara Walters were fans of the “collagen-rejuvenating” mucous membrane, we knew we couldn’t resist!
“It’s a bit ironic that this particular cream would erase wrinkles, but as long as Oprah endorses it, count me in,” declared Circus Hour beauty editor, Candy.
“It’s amazing how it makes the fine lines retract! Just like… well, um, other things retract,” added art director, 14.
Foreskin for Your Skin, $530, or free at your local Bris. Stay tuned for more Beauty Week celebrity treatments!
Filed under: Pop Culture
Bonus feature: Use the Miracle Jesus Spoon™ to stir your water, and it will it turn into wine!
Filed under: Convos of the Rich & Famous
BILLY: Me and my girls. This is swell.
KATIE LEE: I’M his uptown girl now, people. So suck it, Christie!
ALEXA RAY: I cannot BELIEVE my step-mom just got carded at the open bar. Just keep smiling, Alexa. Just keep smiling…
KATIE LEE: Why can’t people get over it already? Seriously, if I have to hear one more word about that stupid woman… I don’t care if he DID write that song for her. I was barely even born then. I win!
BILLY: Boy, Katie feels a little tense. I should get myself, er… her… a drink.
ALEXA RAY: Uh-oh, Dad’s got his eye on a gin and tonic. I’d better distract him so he doesn’t get drunk and sing “Uptown Girl” again. I know how Katie hates that…
KATIE LEE: At least I cover my feelings well.
Filed under: Daily Drivel
Kate Bosworth dives into the trout pout pond. [Awful Plastic Surgery]
Rihanna claims she and Chris Brown are like siblings. West Virgina approves. [Cele|bitchy]
Katie Holmes officially turns into Tom Cruise with new haircut. Xenu approves. [Lainey]
Kate Hudson ready to “nest” with Owen Wilson. [INSERT INAPPROPRIATE BIRD BEAK JOKE HERE] [Celebrity Baby Scoop]
Adam Sandler breaks his ankle. Never fear — it won’t affect his ability to play the immature big kid at heart with anger issues who scores the girl out of his league. [Celebrity Smack]
A Beyonce and Jay-Z wedding? Yup, they’re probably scheduled to get hitched right after Brangelina. [Gabby Babble]
Britney Spears has a curfew. In response to her father’s new rules, Britney declared, “Bollocks, y’all!” [POTP]
Mariah Carey needs to stop dipping into Dakota Fanning’s closet. [popbytes]
Share backhanded compliments you’ve received. One of my faves: “What a great dress. It’s so slimming!” [Giggle Sugar]
Filed under: April Fool's, Blind Items
Which overly optimistic, porous television star has traded in sea living for bathhouse debauchery? He picks up “Bubble Buddies” in a Chelsea steam room with his impressive ability to absorb liquids and shift shapes, and with his creative use of a necktie, but has turned off more than a few conquests with his dangerously sharp buck teeth and refusal to take off his socks.
Filed under: Beauty
HOT PICK: Injectable Motor Oil
On the heels of yesterday’s Beauty Week review of the revolutionary Leeches and Urine Youth Beauty Serum, comes a celebrity beauty treatment sure to take you from 60 to 20 in 4.54 seconds: Freeze Face Automobile Lube.
With this home injection spa, there is no need to get your own Dr. Jiffy Lube from Argentina, like Priscilla Presley did. Simply inject and fill!
“Mmmm…rrrrrrr….mmmm,” said Circus Hour beauty editor, Candy, who’s no longer able to move her face after sampling the treatment. “Nnnnn…uhhhh,” agreed art director, 14, who also took the spa lube injector for a test drive.
Available at Home Depot and Ace Hardware stores nationwide. Other uses include car engines, motorcycles, heavier vehicles such as buses and Tom Cruise’s mothership, boats (fixed engine installations and Jay-Z’s pimped out yachts), ride-on lawn mowers, large agricultural and construction equipment, and a last-resort substitute for KY.
