Archive for the ‘Tom Cruise’ Category
Filed under: Crazy Clowns, Tom Cruise
PRESCRIBING INFORMATION
TOM CRUISE PURPLE (as reported by the NY Daily News)
Generic name: xenujuana
DESCRIPTION
Medical marijuana sold in vials featuring a picture of Tom Cruise laughing hysterically. Also known as most every picture taken of Tom Cruise. Distributed by licensed cannabis clubs in Northern California.
INDICATIONS
An antiemetic for the treatment of nausea and anorexia associated with treatments for cancer, AIDS, and hepatitis. Tom Cruise Purple also treats people who demonstrate signs of normalcy and turns them into laughing loons.
RECOMMENDED DOSAGE
Enough to make patients speak solely in unintelligible …
Continued
Filed under: Guest Artists, Tom Cruise
Our brave pals over at The Fug have found footage of Tom Cruise and John Travolta being abducted and molested by aliens. See it before the Scientologists catch wind of it because they’re not going to like it. Watch it here before it gets yanked. (NSFW).
Continued
Filed under: Crazy Clowns, Featured, Freak Show Posters, Tom Cruise, Tom Cruise Art
Hurry, hurry, step right up and see the Tom Cruise, Scientologist, pictured in his natural environment on the distant planet Xorzax. Prepare to be amazed as the L. Ron Hubbard spaceship beams top-secret information from the Galactic Confederacy directly into Tom’s cerebral cortex and then marvel as Tom jumps around and cackles as he incoherently spews Hubbard’s thought rays out his mouth and into the collective consciousness of any Earthling that will listen. Many Earthlings simply ignore or find fleeting entertainment in …
Continued
Filed under: Tom Cruise, Tom Cruise Art
Tom Cruise and Scientology are at the center of a publicity nightmare this week after Gawker posted a leaked Scientologist video that made the infamous Oprah couch-jumping video look sane. The video is so oddly disturbing that it’s made the news around the world. On top of that, he’s angry as a hornet about an upcoming unauthorized biography promising shocking Scientology claims and secret details about his bizarre life. And it certainly can’t help matters when Tom is accused of “battling middle-aged spread in recent …
Continued
Filed under: Tom Cruise, Tom Cruise Art
EXCLUSIVE! We were able to obtain the raw transmission of Tom Cruise. Scientologist as it beamed to Earth from the far reaches of outer space. A warning to some of you, this transmission is extremely disturbing as it contains the actual voices of evil silicon-based Xenu aliens from a distant galaxy. They appear to be dictating to Tom what to say. Behold ye, this chilling recording:UPDATE: We now have a music video for the Tom …
Continued
Filed under: Tom Cruise, Tom Cruise Art
Only Gallery of the Absurd has this exclusive photo of Tom Cruise’s childhood visit with Santa. Smuggled to us by an anonymous source, this photo captures a happy little Tom sitting on jolly old Santa’s lap during a childhood visit to the Xenu Gardens Intergalactic Super Mall located on planet Xordu back in 1972. Medium: digital composite. Much thanks to Cpt. Willy for allowing me to “touch up” his son’s Santa photo
Continued
Filed under: Tom Cruise, Tom Cruise Art
As we Americans gorge ourselves on turkey (or tofurky) today, let’s take a moment to reflect on the Scientologist version of Thanksgiving. After a fleet of space ships commanded by an intergalactic walrus landed on Xenu Rock, Tom Cruise and his band of pilgrim aliens emerged from the L. Ron Mayflower to greet the volcano-dwelling Thetans. Tom immediately began jumping up and down in excitement as soon as he laid eyes on the feast the Thetans had prepared for him - read the full …
Continued
