Archive for the ‘Rock Stars’ Category
Filed under: Rock Stars, Rock Stars
Once upon a time, there lived a lonely boa constrictor out in the middle of a Utah rehabilitation facility. This lusty little snake was starved for fresh meat and seething with insatiable desire. One day, a dazed, middle-aged mouse was brought to the rehab facilty. The hungry freckled snake spotted the paunchy old mouse and began to salivate with ardent desire. “Fresh meat, fresh meat, now I shall eat!” exclaimed the nubile reptile, and then she carefully slithered toward …
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Filed under: Rock Stars, Rock Stars
An angry granny has condemned Sir Bob Geldof as the embodiment of Satan. The caustic granny claims Geldof is very cruel, greedy and has raised his children as hippies. Geldof is often referred to as a saint because of his devotion to ending poverty, but granny thinks he’s Satan. I’m not sure why this obscure little story caught my eye, perhaps I just wanted a fun reason to paint Geldof as the Lord of Darkness. Medium: acrylic, gold metallic on board.
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Filed under: Rock Stars
Punk legend John Lydon lashed out at Sting by calling him a “soggy old dead carcass” and an “old fart”. Lydon, no spring chicken himself, complained that listening to Sting squeak through Roxanne was like letting air out of a balloon. Celebrity feuds carried out in the public arena are often entertaining, but no one pulls them off as well as the Brits. The rather corpse-like Lydon also grumbled about Amy Winehouse and Pete Doherty. “There’s no much going on …
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Filed under: Celebrity Endorsements, Rock Stars, Rock Stars
Recent reports claim Pete Doherty’s cats were found with cocaine in their systems. Similar to the air in Rome, Junkie Pete’s London apartment is wafting with enough cocaine particles to keep him, his cats, and his entire neighborhood high for months. After noticing his cats were snorting lines, hallucinating, drinking all his beer, and stealing his car for crack-fueled joy rides, Pete came up with an idea. He would gather trash, bits of …
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Filed under: Rock Stars, Rock Stars
It’s very confusing keeping up with the latest Amy Winehouse news. Some say she canceled her August tour because of exhaustion, others claim she overdosed on a heroin-infused cocktail of ecstacy, cocaine and horse tranquilizers. Insiders claim Amy stumbles about like a dead-eyed zombie while others prefer to focus on her singing talent. Has she checked into rehab or not? No one knows. Other discussions involve Amy’s shocking skeletal frame, or her tendency to …
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Filed under: Rock Stars, Rock Stars
The papparazzi lurk hidden in bushes outside of Los Angeles hot spots, waiting for the moment their celebrity prey begins to exhibit any behavior outside the norm of Hollywood power and glamour. These photos end up in tabloids under headlines such as, “Celebrity Flaws Exposed!!” and the magazines fly off the shelves. If paparazzi photos sell tabloids, imagine how they could be used to sell movies, concerts, CDs and books! I hear the entertainment industry has been lagging in sales, so perhaps they might consider …
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