Archive for the ‘Paris Hilton’ Category
Filed under: Paris Hilton
Paris Hilton’s publicist Elliot Mintz went incognito at Paris’ pre-birthday party last night by disguising himself with just a couple cans of Zebster Shock Orange spray paint. He likely went undercover because his client’s latest project, The Hottie and the Nottie, bombed harder than Jason “Gummi Bear” Davis falling off a high dive.
The Hottie and the Nottie, which deserves an Oscar for its name alone, opened on 111 screens this Friday and took in just $9,000 — the equivalent of $81 per screen and ten people suffering through each show, according to …
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Filed under: Paris Hilton
Paris Hilton attended the Los Angeles premiere of her Oscar-worthy movie, The Hottie and the Nottie, last night. No word on when the actual hottie arrived.
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Filed under: Paris Hilton
50 Cent — or, as lame white folks such as myself call him, Fiddy Cent — made Paris Hilton cry last night, thereby establishing himself as my new hero.
While performing at a pre-Super Bowl party, which Paris was hosting, Fiddy gave a shout-out to Paris, who started singing in the front row (hope guests brought earplugs). That didn’t garner enough attention, so she then jumped on-stage and danced next to Mr. Cent. However, Fiddy quickly instructed her to “Get the fuck off the stage.”
Aw, Fiddy. You had me at “fuck.”
Paris did what any other mature individual would do, and started to cry and plead with the party’s production staff to let her dance, whining, “But it’s my party!”
Perhaps my favorite part of this story, as told by Page Six:
“Her entourage swarmed the fotogs so they couldn’t document the embarrassing belittlement but PageSix.com was there.”
Quite a scoop, indeed, PageSix.com! I need audio, though. What a fabulous new ringtone that will make. “Get the fuck off the stage… But it’s my party! Get the fuck off the stage… But it’s my party!” Grandma Kirby will be so jealous.
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Filed under: Paris Hilton
Paris Hilton once said of jail, “God has given me this new chance. My spirit or soul did not like the way I was being seen and that is why I was sent to jail. God has released me.” And, apparently, He released her drunk ass right into the arms of Elisha Cuthbert, who she was seen kissing on Tuesday night. Which I’m sure had nothing to do with getting publicity for the Oscar-bound The Hottie and the Nottie.
The two blondes were “all over each other and making out” …
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Filed under: Paris Hilton
Jared Leto and Paris Hilton greet each other at Sundance Film Festival
Uh-oh… Didn’t Paris’ doctor tell her that using a douche bag will only spread the crabs?
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Filed under: Paris Hilton
Harvard University’s comedy magazine, The Harvard Lampoon, is performing the ultimate act of satire: honoring The Hottie and the Nottie “star” Paris Hilton with its “Woman of the Year” award. Paris will accept the award and speak in her fake baby voice to the university’s entire undergraduate student body next month.
Satire or not, this woman hardly needs any more recognition. Shame on you, Harvard! Paris is so vacuous, she thinks Delta Airlines is a sorority. Hell, Paris is so vacuous, she thinks Taco Bell is a Mexican phone …
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Filed under: Paris Hilton
“Wow. I should have cleaned out my G-string months ago!”
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