Archive for the ‘Jessica Simpson’ Category
Filed under: Jessica Simpson
After noticing photos of Jessica Simpson’s giant red lips making the rounds on the gossip blogs, I decided to go into my art studio/laboratory and create a new product for mass distribution. Now anyone can sport the popular trout pout look without painful and expensive collagen injections or implants! Jessica Simpson Swollen Red Lips
are so easy to use. Simply open the package and stick our adhesive lips
over your own and in no time flat, you’ve got the hottest look in
Hollywood!
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Filed under: Jessica Simpson
Around this time last year, we were bombarded by images of Nick Lachey and Jessica Simpson cuddling up to each other in a plastic oversized sleigh. Nick wore a very lame Santa "beard" and Jessica was dressed as a ditzy snow bunny. The show was heavily promoted - billboards, magazines, web, television…one could not get away from the creepily annoying and intrusive images. Oh, and the show itself….insufferable!
I know all of you are disapointed there won’t be another Nick and Jessica’s Family Christmas ever …
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Filed under: Jessica Simpson
Since his divorce from Jessica Simpson was announced, Nick Lachey has trouble sleeping. He’s plagued with a terrifying recurrent nightmare involving his overbearing ex-father-in-law, Papa Joe Simpson. The nightmare goes as follows:
Papa Joe has planned a brand new episode of "Nick and Jessica’s Family Christmas". He flies into Nick’s room, hovers over his bed, and holds yet another ridiculous and embarrassing sweater for Nick to wear on the show. "Nick, you will wear this sweater in the opening monologue. The audience will love it! …
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Filed under: Jessica Simpson
This is first in a series of my Hollywood Aliens Trading Cards. The alien shown above is an evil Dingbaticus from Planet Vapid. They’re sent to Earth to trick unsuspecting humans into thinking the Dingbaticus is talented and entertaining, but their real mission is to control the U.S. news media by diverting attention from facts and issues impacting our country and planet and focusing it back onto superficial drivel. Be warned, too much exposure to this nefarious beast will eventually cause …
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