Archive for the ‘Britney Spears’ Category
Filed under: Britney Spears
Oh, my gosh. What a coincidence — I was going to wear the SAME outfit to grab some overpriced t-shirts Kitson at 2 a.m. this morning! Only I had more holes in my fishnets…
The latest developments in Crazy Town: Britney led the paparazzi on a high-speed chase last night, which led to several paps being ticketed, but not our Britster. Later, as she was leaving the grocery store around midnight, the photgraphers asked her a number of hard-hitting, provocative questions:
Q: Britney, what do you want to say to Adnan on TV?
B: (Thinks for a second) “I think he’s a nice person.”
Q: What was the result of your pregnancy test?
B: “I never had a pregnancy test.”
Q: Britney, what are you going to do now? Go to college?
B: (sighing) “Oh, I wish I was in college.”
I have to admit, I’ve always been a bit surprised she didn’t study astrophysics at Stanford. *SIGH* Wasted talent…
Two random guys then approached and joked “Britney, you don’t like black guys? Britney laughingly responded, “Yeah, I like black guys,” and then let one of the guys pose with her in front of the cameras and hugged him. Hopefully, he knows how to Shout-Out Cheeto dust stains.
At 2 a.m., Britney, her “manager” Sam Lutfi and another pal hit L.A.’s Kitson boutique. The store was opened just for them. Britney walked out with three shopping bags and proceeded talking to the photographers in a British accent. “Where is your driver when you need them?” she asked. Good question, Brit! Good… one…
Something tells me Brit’s accent rivals Kevin Costner’s in Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves. Only a matter of time ’til Brit approaches the Starbucks counter and declares:
“I’ve seen knights in armor panic at the first hint of battle. And I’ve seen the lowliest, unarmed squire pull a spear from his own body, to defend a dying horse. Nobility is not a birthright. It’s defined by one’s actions! … Wait, have y’all seen mah pants?”
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Filed under: Britney Spears
I just called my mom to see how her weekend was, and what were the first words out of her mouth? Nope, not “how are you?” or “have you gotten over that terrible cold?” — but rather, “has Britney showed up to court yet?”
Can you believe this crap? It’s one thing to sabotage your relationship with YOUR family, Britney, but keep your Cheeto-stained hands off MINE! You hear me, Brit?!
Whoa. Pardon my mini-breakdown. Next thing you know, I’ll be grocery shopping in Britney’s wedding dress…
… Where was I? Oh, …
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Filed under: Britney Spears
Must… report… on… Britney’s… every… move…
Even though Britney Spears’ custody hearing — which is critical if she actually wants to see her kids during the next few months (a big “if,” I know) — started earlier this morning, Brit JUST rolled into court at 1:30.
No word on whether Britney’s Breasts, which have been wandering aimlessly for months now, followed her. However, several reports claim to have spotted them getting fake passports and making a run for the border in hopes of avoiding further humiliation.
Run, girls, run!
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Filed under: Britney Spears
I know there’s no way you can possibly kick off the weekend without knowing what Britney Spears wore, drank and screwed today, so here is the latest…
After Britney and Adnan’s 24-hour romantic tryst to Mexico (yes, we are now on a one-name basis with the paparazzo), Britney returned to Los Angeles, where she will face yet another custody hearing on Monday. TMZ reports that she must show up at court, or else she may lose her kids for good. The Commissioner will apparently hear firsthand eyewitness accounts of last Thursday’s breakdown from …
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Filed under: Britney Spears
And we thought immigration issues were bad for U.S.-Mexico relations.
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Filed under: Britney Spears
We would like to introduce another character into the real-life soap opera that is Britney Spears’ life: Paparazzo Adnan Ghalib’s wife, AzLynn Berry.
The two, who reportedly have an “arrangement” so he could get his Green Card, are currently separated. The former second runner-up in the National Face of Glamour Competition has moved out of Los Angeles to escape all the attention, and told Access Hollywood in a phone interview, “I was chased down the street by two men in a BMW.” Welcome to the world of your husband’s targets, lady.
How does Adnan …
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Filed under: Britney Spears
I’m just going to close my eyes and pick a Britney story today. What will it be… the restraining order against Britney?… the nude pictures being shopped around?… or…
Ah! Here we go: A spokesperson for Lynne and Jamie Lynn Spears went on the Today show this morning, lambasting Dr. Phil for exploiting the Britney situation. They claim that while Dr. Phil did approach them about being on the show, they immediately rejected the idea — but he continued with his plans, anyway. The family …
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