Archive for the ‘Brangelina’ Category
Filed under: Babies, Brangelina
Dear god, Shiloh is cute. Almost makes ME want to have a baby. If only they didn’t come with dirty diapers. Or temper tantrums. Or nine months of mandatory sobriety.
Yeah, okay, that last one’s a deal breaker. I’ll just stick to being a crazy cat lady for now. And keeping framed pictures of Shiloh on my mantle.
For more of Angelina and Candy’s Pretend Baby, click below.
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Filed under: Brangelina
Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are — shocker! — causing quite a stir with the gawking parents at li’l Maddox’s school. In fact, there’s so much chaos every time they drop off Mad at the Lycée Français de New York, that the head of the school had to send out this letter to the other parents:
“. . . Regretfully, I have seen some parents taking pictures, asking for autographs, talking to the media and even shouting at Ms. Jolie and Mr. Pitt for recognition. Therefore, in the best interests of the school and …
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Filed under: Brangelina
Brad Pitt’s nose is “bleeding” because:
1) He just told Angelina he doesn’t want any more kids;
2) He was tired of Clooney getting all the sympathy;
3) It’s actually residual blood from having his balls chopped off;
4) He’s allergic to being in one city for more than two weeks; OR…
5) None of the above. He’s “bleeding” because _______________.
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Filed under: Brangelina, Pop Quizzes
Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie look so THRILLED to be at the NYC premiere of Jesse James because:
1) They’re tired of listening to dialogue like, “poetry don’t work on whores,” for the umpteenth time;
2) It’s been scientifically proven that 4 kids + countless media events = no sex;
3) They’re trying to figure out how to tell the kids the world is actually FLAT;
4) One of the photographers yelled, “Say JEN!” before taking their picture;
5) They’re mourning the demise of Mickey Mouse; OR…
6) None of the above. They’re ____________.
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Filed under: Brangelina
The ever-candid Angelina Jolie has opened up about her experience with drugs, revealing that she has taken “every drug possible” and the one she enjoyed the LEAST was marijuana – because, according to Metro.co.uk, it made her giggle too much.
“I’ve done coke, heroin, ecstasy, LSD, everything,” said Angie. “But the one that had the worst effect for me was pot. I felt silly and giggly and I hate feeling like that.”
The mother of four recalled how she once visited Disneyland while tripping on acid: “I started thinking about Mickey Mouse being a short, …
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Filed under: Brangelina
In this week’s InTouch, a reporter claims to have been sitting nearby (read: crawled under the bar to eavesdrop) when Angelina Jolie went to the bar in the Waldorf-Astoria hotel. Angelina had a glass of red wine with “a tall, muscular male friend” (obviously wasn’t Billy Bob) and talked about money. “You know how [Brad] is financially, which is stupid,” she said. “Someone has to make the big decisions, though. He’ll put money into things — but it’s bizarre! It doesn’t always make sense to me. The reality is, we’re not a …
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Filed under: Brangelina
Brad Pitt, like Ellen Pompeo, has bravely taken an anti-heiress stance, telling Details magazine that:
“This Paris Hilton quest for fame. She’s blissfully obvious. Oh my god, we’ve been away for… Where were we? We hadn’t seen television for like a month. I’m probably exaggerating. And we just got back to the United States. And we turned on CNN. And on comes Paris Hilton, going to jail. And so we just turned it off again.”
I don’t believe this for a second. Sure, they may have turned off CNN — but …
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