Archive for the ‘Holiday Tributes’ Category
Filed under: Holiday Tributes
Happy Friday the 13th, Holy Rollers — or unhappy, depending on how bad your luck is.
On this most inauspicious day, it only seems appropriate that we honor some of Hollywood’s not-so-lucky celebs:
Unlucky in love: Gayle King (with Oprah for 30 years and still no ring)
Unlucky in role selections: Rob Lowe (turned down part of McDreamy)
Unlucky in job hopping: Katie Couric
Unlucky post-Friends career:
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Filed under: Holiday Tributes
On the day that Americans celebrate the adoption of the Declaration of Independence - and eat lots of celebratory grilled hamburgers and chips — we at Holy Candy would like to honor celebrities that have celebrated independence in their own special way:
Britney Spears celebrated her freedom from Kevin Federline…
… by also liberating herself from panties.
Pete Doherty celebrated his independence from rehab…
…with his old stash of crack.
Denise Richards celebrated her freedom from Charlie Sheen…
… by straddling her friend’s husband.
George Michael celebrated his independence from Wham!……
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Filed under: Holiday Tributes
On the day that Americans commemorate U.S. men and women who have died in military service to their country, Holy Candy would like to also pay tribute to celebrities who have bravely sacrificed for a worthy cause:
Luke Wilson
Sacrificed pride for an easy buck
Britney Spears
Sacrificed panties to give months of material to tabloids and late night talk show hosts
Rosie O’Donnell
Sacrificed job at The View to make Elisabeth feel like sh*t
Lisa Rinna
Sacrificed lips to show us why we should never get …
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Filed under: Holiday Tributes
Today moms across the globe are being honored for Mother’s Day, lavished with gifts such as flowers, chocolates and other trinkets that don’t nearly begin to make up for the hours of excruciatingly painful childbirth you made her endure. Or so my mom tells me.
Celebrity moms were no exception, receiving a variety of creative gifts from their rehab-bound offspring. Holy Candy has the exclusive:
Sean Preston and Jayden James Federline got their mom a necklace:
But had to return it when they were informed the nanny is not their mom.
Ireland Baldwin gave Kim Basinger …
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Filed under: Holiday Tributes
On the day Mexicans commemorate their victory over the French in the Battle of Puebla — and we all drink too many celebratory margaritas — Holy Candy would like to pay tribute to other significant battles:
Hugh Grant’s Attack of the Baked Beans
Battle of the Bitch: Naomi Campbell versus The World
John Travolta fights male pattern baldness with War of the Weaves
And a potential battle to end all battles…
Sign of the Apocalypse: The Rise of Ryan Seacrest
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Filed under: Celebutards, Holiday Tributes
Brandon Davis spends some quality time with his moobies.
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Filed under: Holiday Tributes
Happy Easter, Holy Rollers!
On the day that part of the world celebrates Jesus coming back to life, we at Holy Candy would like to honor others that have also miraculously risen from the dead:
John Travolta (Thank you, Pulp Fiction)
Teri Hatcher (Thank you, Desperate Housewives)
Matthew McConaughey’s hair
Suzanne Somers (Thank you, Thigh Master)
Vans (Thank you, ’80s renaissance)
Paris Hilton’s breasts
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