Archive for the ‘Holiday Tributes’ Category
Filed under: Holiday Tributes
Bemoaning that your mother-in-law got you a weight-loss book for Christmas? Or perhaps got used tennis socks from your grandmother? (Yep, that would be me — no joke.) Well, take heart that your gifts are still better than the items on Gallery of the Absurd’s “Worst Celebrity Endorsed Gift Items of the Season.”
First item on the list: The Richie SamborBRA. (Take note, friends and family of Brandon Davis!) For the entire, educational advertisement about Richie Sambora’s not-so-popular “masculine mammary support system,” check out …
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Filed under: Holiday Tributes
What a pleasant surprise — not only have I received a holiday card from the Simpsons, but also the Lohan family! Now that I’ve washed the residual fake tanning solution from my hands, I thought I would share their card and moving message with you as well…
Dearest Family, Friends and Any Media Outlet Willing to Write About Me,
I can’t believe it’s already been a year since I sent out our last holiday card – the same year I celebrated my 30th birthday. Wow. How time …
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Filed under: Holiday Tributes
Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, as I’m sure you know, is a popular Christmas story about a reindeer who is initially rejected for his crazy red nose, but then saves the day when he’s able to lead Santa Claus’ team of reindeer through inclement weather (that I’m sure the weathermen never saw coming). The story is so popular, in fact, that it’s bound to be remade one of these days by a movie studio that’s too lazy to create any new stories (read: most any studio today).
Which led me to thinking…
If I were the casting director for the Rudolph …
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Filed under: Celebutards, Holiday Tributes
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Filed under: Holiday Tributes, TomKat
Americans aren’t the only ones who celebrating a holiday today — Scientologists have Thetan Thanksgiving! To read Tom Cruise’s heartwarming tale of Scientologist pilgrims first landing on Xenu Rock, click below.
THE HISTORY OF THETAN THANKSGIVING
by Tom Cruise
Many years ago, a college dropout with two failed bigamous marriages was unhappy because he wasn’t getting rich off his writing career. “Writing for a penny a word is ridiculous,” said L. Ron Hubbard. “If a man really wants to make a million dollars, the best way would …
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Filed under: Holiday Tributes
For those who feel like baking a sweet that’s more, um, shapely than the standard pumpkin pie this holiday, Mel Gibson has generously shared his recipe for Thanksgiving Sugar Tit Pie! Mmmm. Passed down through generations of sexists.
Don’t be a boob. Be sure to give thanks for nice racks this holiday with Mel’s recipe!
Recipe card graphic created by the hilarious 14 at Gallery of the Absurd, while actual recipe is a collaboration between Candy and Mel. Be sure to also check out 14’s EveryDay with …
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Filed under: Holiday Tributes
A couple other “mystery bloggers” (who shall remain anonymous, but whose work you are likely familiar with) and I — or, as we like to be called, Amy, Paris and Anna Nicole — had a little too much fun with Halloween last night, as you can see from these pictures before and at the West Hollywood Halloween Carnaval:
The gorgeous Wino, Candy as Prisoner Paris and the ever-sane Anna Nicole Smith
Can you guess what that special “treat” is danging from my belt…?
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