Archive for the ‘Holiday Tributes’ Category

Happy Presidents’ Day!

Filed under: Holiday Tributes

Okay, so Presidents’ Day is technically a celebration of George Washington’s birthday and store sales. However, we at Holy Candy — who refuse to get caught up in facts — have decided to honor the holiday’s namesake with a more appropriate and respectful tribute:

A poll of the hottest U.S. presidents!

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So who do you think is the most hump-worthy prez?

1) Bill Clinton for the way he blows on that sax;

2) JFK for asking, “Ask not what Candy can do for you, but what you can do for Candy”… or something like that;

3) …


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24 Comments

Posted by CandyFebruary 18, 2008

Happy Valentine’s Day, Holy Rollers!

Filed under: Holiday Tributes

To continue getting you in the romantic Valentine spirit, we now have a celebrity-inspired line of greeting cards!

The Lindsay Lohan collection:

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Sure to infect, er… ignite the passion in your household!

The Paris Hilton collection:

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She reels them in with her tongue, and keeps them there with her paws.  No one can escape her massive clutches!

Created with my fun-making buddy, 14 at Gallery of the Absurd.  To see the love-filled Tom Cruise and animated Diddy collections, be sure to check out GOTA


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4 Comments

Posted by CandyFebruary 14, 2008

Happy Martin Luther King Day!

Filed under: Holiday Tributes

Today we celebrate the great Martin Luther King, Jr., who once legendarily declared, “I Have a Dream” and spoke of his desire for a future where people of all races would coexist harmoniously as equals. A future we continue to work toward.

In honor of MLK’s extraordinary legacy, Holy Candy would like to pay tribute to other high-profile people who also “have a dream” — albeit not-so-noble ones…

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Paris Hilton: “I have a dream… that TrannieGear.com will beef up their shoe department.”

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Tom Cruise: “I have a dream… that …


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5 Comments

Posted by CandyJanuary 21, 2008

Happy New Year!

Filed under: Holiday Tributes

Happy 2008, Holy Rollers! To help kick off the New Year, I spoke with a number of celebrities who have shared their inspiring New Year’s resolutions:

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Marge Simpson revealed, “I want to bottle and make millions off my anti-aging regimen…”

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Lindsay Lohan is practicing to become this year’s reigning “hot dog” eating champion.

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Senator Craig vowed to continue perfecting his tap-dancing routine.

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Britney Spears asked, “Resolu… huh?!” then went back to sleep.

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Catherine Zeta Jones would like to …


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365 Comments

Posted by CandyJanuary 1, 2008

Merry Christmas!

Filed under: Holiday Tributes

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The real brains behind the Holy Candy operation — Marcy and Matty — and I would like to wish you and yours a very Merry Christmas, belated Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Chrismukkah, Clooneymas, what-have-you!

Hugs, kisses and many bowls of spiked eggnog,

Candy

p.s. — Just between you and me, when I ran after George’s motorcycle to let him know I was going to climb through his window to spend a romantic Clooneymas with him, he let it slip that he plans to knock some sense into me with a “big rock.” *SWOON*

2008 just may be the year I …


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14 Comments

Posted by CandyDecember 25, 2007

Worst Celebrity-Endorsed Holiday Gifts:  Amy Winehouse Snow Globe

Filed under: Amy Winehouse, Holiday Tributes

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Amy Winehouse Singing Snow Globe Recalled Due to Constant Malfunction

LONDON — - The U.K. Department for Business, Enterprise and Regulatory Reform and Amy Winehouse’s parents today announced an involuntary recall of one of the worst celebrity-endorsed holiday gifts in history: the singing Amy Winehouse Snow Globe. Despite initial high demand from music fans and celebrities such as Pete Doherty, who was spotted trying to break open a Snow Globe, the product’s constant malfunctions have prompted an onslaught of returns to stores and an immediate recall.

The snow globe has a number of …


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9 Comments

Posted by CandyDecember 23, 2007

Least Popular Holiday Gifts:  Cisco Adler’s Christmas Balls

Filed under: Holiday Tributes

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Santa isn’t the only one carrying an oversized sack this Christmas!

Want to wish your not-so-loved ones a very hairy Christmas? Then consider getting them Cisco Adler’s Christmas balls! Surprisingly, the Whitestarr frontman’s low-hanging Xmas balls (the original can be viewed here/NSFW) aren’t selling well — in fact, they’ve already been returned by unhappy customers such as Mischa Barton and Kimberly Stewart — so look for them in the bargain bin at your local dive bar.

Illustration created by my holiday partner in crime (and those balls are a crime!), 14 at …


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11 Comments

Posted by CandyDecember 22, 2007