Archive for the ‘Open Letters’ Category

Filed under: Britney Spears, Open Letters

It’s been a long time since you’ve made an appearance ’round these parts. I see you’ve been praying for your return. Ask, you shall receive…

So, Brit, I hear you cried yesterday when you found out Adnan was turned away from your home because of your dad. I totally understand. My dad wouldn’t let me go to the movies with Jason Reisdorf when I was in seventh grade and it bummed me out, too. I even made an airtight case in Jason’s defense, something along the lines of “YOU …

Continued

Filed under: Open Letters

Dear Jennifer,

You seem like a sweet girl. Probably not the kind of girl I could grab martinis with, as I suspect you get the giggles off a mere glass of champagne, but a girl who is genuinely thankful for her success. You also made Beyoncé and her armpits eat a healthy slice of humble pie, for which I am genuinely thankful. Lord, am I tired of seeing that woman get bootylicious on my television screen! Is there any product she’s NOT hawking right now?!

But I digress…

J-Hud… may I …

Continued

Filed under: Open Letters

Dear Joan:

I know you’ve been through a lot. Anyone who can survive having her newborn twins stolen at the hospital and being told they had died during childbirth has my utmost respect and sympathy. And while it was actually Val Ewing on Knots Landing who endured that nightmare, I’m sure playing those scenes was still gut-wrenching for you.

We all deal with such pain in different ways. Some cry. Others inhale a pint of Ben & Jerry’s Chocolate Fudge Brownie Frozen Yogurt (note to self: replenish with trip to grocery …

Continued