Author Archive
Filed under: Sideshow Candy
Sideshow Candy is a video blog lampooning celebrity antics and entertainment.
Week of April 14, 2007 low/highlights: Ashlee Simpson gets a ring; Katie Couric gets the boot; and porn star wannabes get an education.
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Filed under: Convos of the Rich & Famous
Bridget Marquardt, Hef, Holly Madison and Kendra Wilkinson at Hef’s 82nd birthday party in Vegas
HOLLY: This is it. This is the year Puffin’s gonna propose!
HEF: Uh-oh. Did I remember my teeth?
KENDRA: This counts as a kiss, right? Seriously, if I have to touch that old dude one more time…
HOLLY: Puffin and I are going to be together forever! Or at least till he kicks the bucket and I get his fortune. BWAA-HAA-HAA!
HEF: Who is this nice girl kissing me? Is that Anna Nicole?
BRIDGET: I’m just going to say it — I look pretty great.
KENDRA: Finish taking the freaking picture already! I have to find out if Memphis won…
HOLLY: Let’s try telepathy: You can’t wait to propose to Holly. You can’t wait to propose to Holly…
HEF: I can’t wait… to go home. Pretty sure there’s a new episode of Three’s Company on TV tonight. I love that wacky Jack Tripper! He should win an Emmy this year.
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Filed under: Who Wore It Best
LEFT: Paris Hilton leaving Finland’s Helsinki-Vantaa Airport
RIGHT: Gemini striking a pose for her JC Penney Portrait Studios glamour shots
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Filed under: Crazy Clowns, Tom Cruise
PRESCRIBING INFORMATION
TOM CRUISE PURPLE (as reported by the NY Daily News)
Generic name: xenujuana
DESCRIPTION
Medical marijuana sold in vials featuring a picture of Tom Cruise laughing hysterically. Also known as most every picture taken of Tom Cruise. Distributed by licensed cannabis clubs in Northern California.
INDICATIONS
An antiemetic for the treatment of nausea and anorexia associated with treatments for cancer, AIDS, and hepatitis. Tom Cruise Purple also treats people who demonstrate signs of normalcy and turns them into laughing loons.
RECOMMENDED DOSAGE
Enough to make patients speak solely in unintelligible …
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Filed under: April Fool's, Blind Items
Which overly optimistic, porous television star has traded in sea living for bathhouse debauchery? He picks up “Bubble Buddies” in a Chelsea steam room with his impressive ability to absorb liquids and shift shapes, and with his creative use of a necktie, but has turned off more than a few conquests with his dangerously sharp buck teeth and refusal to take off his socks.
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Filed under: Who Wore It Best
LEFT: Rihanna performing for her Believe Foundation in San Francisco
RIGHT: Prince reflecting that that he “only wanted 2 see u bathing in the purple rain.”
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Filed under: Who Wore It Best
LEFT: Newly single Pamela Anderson going to the movies in Malibu
RIGHT: Newly clean Daisy going to her closet to find her Dora pajamas in Palm Springs
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