Author Archive
Filed under: General Musings
Dearest Circus Hour Readers,
New week, new plans…
After a fun-filled time here on Circus Hour, the two of us have decided to pursue a different direction and return to posting on separate blogs: Gallery of the Absurd (art and satire) and CandyKirby.com (celebrity, news & pop culture commentary/formerly Holy Candy).
For those who enjoyed our satirical collaborations, never fear — we enjoyed them, too, which is why we’re going to continue working together on a weekly(ish) basis. So be sure to follow GOTA and CK to see what we have in store! Not only that, but Gallery …
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Filed under: Britney Spears
Songwriter, singer and Eminem enemy #1, Moby, claims Britney Spears’ recent downward spiral has caused his heart to skip a beat — so much so, that he would marry her. He says:
“Britney is like this Tennessee Williams tragic figure. The fatter she gets, the weirder she gets, the more I love her.”
Yes, Britney is a regular Blanche DuBois! In fact, we have a Playbill for this real-life drama:
SCENE ONE
The exterior of a Starbucks building on a road in Malibu which is called Pacific Coast Highway. Also …
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Filed under: Games
Circus Hour’s “Spot the Difference” is a game of intense concentration, where players must identify the differences between two seemingly identical pictures:
Ready, set, spot!
Lucky winners get a copy of the Oscar-robbed Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot. (We’re still waiting for the sequel, Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot — You With Botox.)
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Filed under: Beauty
HOT FIND: Facial Sandblaster
Move over micro-dermabrasion and chemical peels — we’ve found something even more abrasive!
The Circus Hour team flipped for the Beauty Blaster, whose effects are similar to sandpaper, but with a more even finish and way less bleeding. Just blast and shed years from your face — not to mention most of your skin layers!
“Celebrities such as Renee Zellweger have been fan of this treatment for years,” gushed Beauty Blaster founder, Anastasia Nikolaevna (formerly Jenny Walker). “We guarantee nothing will make your face redder …
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Filed under: Beauty, Featured, Oprah
HOT PICK: Discarded Prepuce
Don’t let your looks get the shaft — snip away those fine lines with Foreskin for Your Skin!
Although the genesis and overwhelmingly sour smell of the cream initially made the Circus Hour team eloquently say, “Ew,” as soon as we heard ageless talk show hosts Oprah Winfrey and Barbara Walters were fans of the “collagen-rejuvenating” mucous membrane, we knew we couldn’t resist!
“It’s a bit ironic that this particular cream would erase wrinkles, but as long as Oprah endorses it, count me …
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Filed under: Beauty
HOT PICK: Injectable Motor Oil
On the heels of yesterday’s Beauty Week review of the revolutionary Leeches and Urine Youth Beauty Serum, comes a celebrity beauty treatment sure to take you from 60 to 20 in 4.54 seconds: Freeze Face Automobile Lube.
With this home injection spa, there is no need to get your own Dr. Jiffy Lube from Argentina, like Priscilla Presley did. Simply inject and fill!
“Mmmm…rrrrrrr….mmmm,” said Circus Hour beauty editor, Candy, who’s no longer able to move her face after sampling the treatment. “Nnnnn…uhhhh,” agreed …
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Filed under: April Fool's, Media, Tabloid Roundup
Although Star magazine doesn’t hit newsstands until tomorrow, the Circus Hour crew has been granted a sneak peek at its upcoming cover:
An exclusive excerpt from the Jennifer Aniston cover story after the jump.
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