Filed under: Britney Spears
Songwriter, singer and Eminem enemy #1, Moby, claims Britney Spears‘ recent downward spiral has caused his heart to skip a beat — so much so, that he would marry her. He says:
“Britney is like this Tennessee Williams tragic figure. The fatter she gets, the weirder she gets, the more I love her.”
Yes, Britney is a regular Blanche DuBois! In fact, we have a Playbill for this real-life drama:
SCENE ONE
The exterior of a Starbucks building on a road in Malibu which is called Pacific Coast Highway. Also known as The Road Where Mel Gibson Blamed the Jews for All the Wars of the World. The sun is shining, but the only light we can see is the constant barrage of flashbulbs.
[A bald-headed man comes around the corner, Moby. He is about forty, wearing black-rimmed glasses and a “Powered by Tofu” t-shirt. He stops upon seeing the crowd of hungry photographers.]
MOBY [bellowing]:
Hey there, Britney! Baby!
BRITNEY [turns around, her mouth full of whipped cream]:
Huh?
MOBY:
It’s me, Moby! We collaborated on your album a few year ago?
BRITNEY:
Eat it, lick it, snort it, f*%k it!”
MOBY:
God, I love you.
Posted by 14 and Candy ♦ April 10, 2008
At 10:00 am Jenn said:
My god - he’s right she is something out of Tennessee Williams play - Weirder and fatter makes her lovlier.
April 10, 2008
At 10:18 am PoorBritney.com said:
Me too! The pity I feel for Poor Britney is un-shake-able!
April 10, 2008
At 1:18 pm Vern said:
Didn’t I see her in “trainwreck called perspire”?
or was it the “Ass Menagerie”?
April 10, 2008
At 1:44 pm Demon kitty said:
Ass-Menagerie is classic Vern. I love Moby and his music. I will assume he is just going through a stage.
April 10, 2008
At 3:35 pm Lucie_Sky_Diamonds said:
I love you comment, Vern.
Britney + Tennessee Williams = No. Just…no.
April 10, 2008
At 4:03 pm javelin said:
i dunno… i mean, everyone has the opportunity to be a tragic figure. everyone has the ability to piss their life away. until she opens up about whatever pushed her over the edge, I will remain less than impressed.
April 10, 2008
At 5:13 pm midevil said:
Candy and Vern may just have stumbled on a possible career for Brit Brit–redoing old classics for modern high schoolers! Why, she could do Fat on a Tin Roof, Suddenly Lost Cheeto, The Shot of Frappuccino… The possibilities are endless, and don’t just stop at Tennessee, why, she could do wonders with Arthur Miller’s works too!
April 10, 2008
At 8:59 pm dv8trix said:
Candy…Vern…can’t…breathe…*thud*
April 10, 2008
At 4:31 am Vern said:
Ohh Great Idea Mid!
She could do “Death of a Panty Salesman” or the “Missfit tits”!
April 11, 2008
At 5:41 am midevil said:
Vern, they need to go with the Missfit tits first, so we can finally hear their side of the story.
April 11, 2008
At 11:42 am Knox said:
did you find that conversation between moby and britney on google.earth?
i’m sure it happened just like that.
google sees everything now.
April 11, 2008
At 1:32 pm It’s British Bitch said:
Vern, Midevil: stop it now before I pee my pants! “Death of a Panty Salesman” ! “Fat on a Hot Tin Roof”! “Lost Cheeto”! My favourite though is “A Trainwreck Called Perspire” - absolute genius Vern. *gasps for breath* *starts laughing hysterically again at suggestions*
April 12, 2008
At 2:07 pm Vern said:
Mid,
I’ve been trying to resist but I can’t:
did you mean their “sides of the story”?
Brit Bit,
We can’t stop, so maybe you can get some rubber pants!
April 12, 2008
At 5:02 am midevil said:
Vern, yeah, I dunno what I was thinking, eh. British Bitch needs to get some Depends–or maybe she could just go Fergie?
Hey, Brit Brit could do the whole Stephen King collection too! “Britney,” “The Dazed One,” “The Green Boots,” “Dickcatcher,” “The SaggyKnockers,” “The Phat Half,” “The Girl Who Loved Frappuccino…”
April 13, 2008