Filed under: Beauty, Featured, Oprah
HOT PICK: Discarded Prepuce
Don’t let your looks get the shaft — snip away those fine lines with Foreskin for Your Skin!
Although the genesis and overwhelmingly sour smell of the cream initially made the Circus Hour team eloquently say, “Ew,” as soon as we heard ageless talk show hosts Oprah Winfrey and Barbara Walters were fans of the “collagen-rejuvenating” mucous membrane, we knew we couldn’t resist!
“It’s a bit ironic that this particular cream would erase wrinkles, but as long as Oprah endorses it, count me in,” declared Circus Hour beauty editor, Candy.
“It’s amazing how it makes the fine lines retract! Just like… well, um, other things retract,” added art director, 14.
Foreskin for Your Skin, $530, or free at your local Bris. Stay tuned for more Beauty Week celebrity treatments!
Posted by 14 and Candy ♦ April 2, 2008
At 2:13 pm Suzanne said:
Must send Oprah one of these ‘Chewish’ toys for her dog…
http://www.wetnosewillys.com/productcart/pc/viewPrd.asp?idcategory=0&idproduct=302
April 2, 2008
At 2:27 pm Jenn F. said:
Hilarious! You two never stop coming up with them. I especially like the “before” photo for Oprah… so freaking funny. That and 14’s comments on retraction.
April 2, 2008
At 3:16 pm librarian kathleen said:
Since nothing would surprise me anymore, this product probably does exist in some form. Who knows what else those
craaaazy celebs will do to fight off the inevitable future or change the present? Good work!
April 2, 2008
At 3:17 pm Candy said:
It does exist, Librarian Kathleen — and Oprah really does endorse it. Click on the links for more info. I know you’re clamoring for some!
April 2, 2008
At 3:25 pm g said:
oooooooomg thats ridiculous….
sooner or later they will use SPERM as skin treatment ((as seen in Nip/Tuck))
April 2, 2008
At 3:46 pm Dr. L said:
Also found: “Sandra Bullock confessed to using hemorrhoid ointment during the filming of “Miss Congeniality” to the smooth out the lines around her eyes.”
Really, Sandra? Hemorrhoid cream around the eyes is so last century. Oh, so was your movie.
April 2, 2008
At 3:48 pm Dr. L said:
But how does it smell? “It’s disgusting. It’s got a sour smell to it that makes you want to gag,” says Blair. “But you get used to it.”
Really? I never did.
April 2, 2008
At 4:40 pm 14 said:
I know it’s hard to believe, but all our Circus Hour Beauty Week products are based on actual beauty treatments. Truth IS stranger than fiction!
April 2, 2008
At 5:26 pm Dr. L said:
Fourteen, I’m laughing so hard at the Gerber baby’s eyes! Oy!
April 2, 2008
At 5:54 pm Jenn F. said:
Oh.
My.
God.
I thought it was a joke. I thought it had to be a joke. I’m completely stunned that someone would, first of all, develop such a product, and then that others would use it. I’m just baffled.
April 2, 2008
At 5:55 pm Elizebeth said:
Completely disgusting!
But those googlie eyes on the baby are the perfect touch!
April 2, 2008
At 6:26 pm Miss Mezza said:
Britisher Pete Burns (Dead or Alive) used this stuff years ago, but i still wanna be sick.
April 2, 2008
At 6:39 pm asterling said:
I’m hurling! It’s instarexia! After the pee and leeches and now this? I’d rather look like Billy Joel.
April 2, 2008
At 6:49 pm Eize said:
That Gerber baby looks like he’d been hit with Botox.
April 2, 2008
At 8:36 pm bluehawaii said:
That Gerber baby looks… possessed.
April 2, 2008
At 10:05 pm Demon kitty said:
“It’s amazing how it makes the fine lines retract! Just like… well, um, other things retract,” added art director, 14.
That was fucking funny as hell 14!!!! I fucking love you! I love you so much!!!! You guys are fucking funny as fuck - ALWAYS!!!!!
I agree with Eize and Bluehawaii - the Gerber baby looks like a possessed botoxed demon.
Ms. Mezza it comes as no surprise the Pete Fucking Burns put pulverized foreskin on his face. For youth and those randy urges …. I guess.
G. I think jizz has been used. I heard about a salon using bull jizz has hair serum.
Now I have a confession to make: During the folly of my youth, right before I put my big toe out the closet, I gave this asshole swedish guy a hand job in front of the university library. I didn’t know what to do with his load. I looked at it under the street lights - it looked all iridescent - so I ran his jizz through my hair, just like conditioner. I didn’t shower that night. I know that was vile. Subconsciously, I was conditioning my hair over night. After my morning shower, I must say my roots had a bit more luster.
I suppose I could try and get one of my straight male friends to give me his load one a week, but then again, I could not convince him to jack off in his evil boss’s salad dressing in order to avenge himself on the prick. Maybe I should try vaginal fluids …
April 2, 2008
At 10:21 pm deanna said:
damn. who knew oprah had a bad case of penis envy?
for f**ksake, did she not pass this stage between 3-5 years old? Freud, you now have my permission celebrate in your grave.
April 2, 2008
At 10:24 pm martini lover said:
i could be wrong but i believe candy writes all this stuff, demon kitty.
April 2, 2008
At 10:32 pm Demon kitty said:
Well I want to give credit where it is due! I think Candy is fucking funny as shit too! Sorry If I made a mistake Candy darlin’ kisses - oh and you have the most incredible rack sister!!! I’m not trying to be patronizing, I swear too god, I love looking at your rack. Your rack makes me want to cry.
April 2, 2008
At 11:36 am Suz said:
Demon Kitty - Perez?
April 3, 2008
At 12:55 pm Demon kitty said:
Suz, are you asking me if I am Perez? I ain’t! I’m just getting my jollies here! I am female.
April 3, 2008
At 11:52 pm It’s British Bitch said:
Suz: DK is absolutely female, all woman and is fucking hilarious. I’m always scanning down posts looking for the black cat avatar. Damn I think I just piddled a bit reading that jizz story *snicker, snort*
If that baby foreskin story is true then I’m pissed off. I see it’s OK to have body-part snatchers skulking around at every Bris on Long Island to get the raw materials but god forbid we should allow scientists any new stem cell lines to try and find treatments or even cures for a whole host of medical conditions and diseases. Grrr.
April 3, 2008
At 10:56 pm Demon kitty said:
I have been meaning to post this lesbian skit about Oprah and Gayle going on a road trip. It is a clip from the Big Gay Sketch show and it is funny as fuck. I was screaming when I watched it. It’s fucking hilarious! Go to this link:
http://www.logoonline.com/shows/dyn/big_gay_sketch_show_2/opinion_poll.jhtml
It’s called “Gayle and Oprah’s Roadtrip”.
April 4, 2008