Filed under: Desperate Clowns, Media
Tumbling into the chasms left behind by Paris Hilton’s footprints, Ryan Seacrest is the newest “professional personality” with ambitions to dominate the world with his brand. Even though the name “Seacrest” sounds like a “waterfront retirement village”, the brand name still manages to be paid an estimated $12.5 million to host Idol, was given a three-year $21 million deal with E! Network to cover red carpet events, has been included in People Magazine’s “100 Most Beautiful Frogs People”, and was declared the new King of All Media by Details magazine. Whew!
You know there’s trouble brewing when “professional personalities” announce the inevitable launch of a fashion line…and yep, Seacrest has already checked that one off his list. I suppose we’ll soon be treated to Ryan Seacrest fragrances, Ryan Seacrest vodka, Ryan Seacrest home accessories, Ryan Seacrest cosmetics for men, and yes, a Seacrest Waterfront Retirement Village empire.
Seacrest aims to be the next Dick Clark, Larry King and Merv Griffin for our generation - do you think he’ll pull it off?
[source]
Posted by 14 ♦ March 24, 2008
At 9:01 am kathleen said:
poor dunkleman (remember him - ryan’s cohost for the 1st season of idol?)! he’s got to be FUMING about ryan’s success.
and, as much as i am loathe to admit it, ryan has achieved great success…he is definitely as hardworking as regis philbin!
March 24, 2008
At 10:57 am Mateo said:
As much as I like mock, he really works hard. He’s kind of hot too. Leave Ryan Seacrest alone! Leave him alone!!!
March 24, 2008
At 11:26 am Vern said:
Seacrest OUT!
March 24, 2008
At 11:53 am Dr. L said:
Are those bitten-down-nails, at the ends of his froggish fingers?
March 24, 2008
At 12:31 pm spandex_is_a_privilege said:
Yes, yes they are
March 24, 2008
At 1:57 pm deanna said:
dear sweet baby jesus,
please save mankind from the new onset of “professional personalities”. we have so much more to worry about, as you know, cause everybody knows the all knowing heavenly father has got your back. last week nicole kidman appeared tired, halle berry had a baby, and jlo and skeletor pimped their crumbsnatchers out for a few bucks. oh sweet cousin of the virgin mary it’s hard here. the weight of OK magazine rests heavenly on our backs. please give us the strength to move forward until angelina has her child. all of this in the name of dina lohan, duane “dog” chapman, and courtney love.
Amen.
March 24, 2008
At 2:01 pm Mr. T said:
Work Jerks - a safe-for-work sketch about something that is definitely not safe-for-work:
http://digitalfuntown.squarespace.com/dft-blog/2008/3/24/short-shorts-work-jerks.html
March 24, 2008
At 6:04 pm lawrewvcd said:
Ryan is startlingly handsome~`LOL. I saw his personal ad with many photos at a super model site named Richromances.com. He looks great over there
March 24, 2008
At 8:25 pm Demon kitty said:
If the man comes out of the closet, I will forgive him for everything - even that fucking fashion line.
March 24, 2008
At 5:08 am Miss Mezza said:
Actually, i think ‘Seacrest’ sounds more like a brand of tuna.
March 25, 2008
At 6:52 am BV said:
I think he already has pulled it off.
March 25, 2008