Filed under: Dear 14 & Candy
As you can imagine, we get quite a bit of feedback from fans, foes and the inebriated — much of which is even more entertaining than Robin Williams on Red Bull. We realized it was rather selfish of us to keep it to ourselves, so we’ve decided to share this wealth of entertainment with you by answering a few of the more, er, provocative ones (all real, with names withheld) here on the site:
Dear Candy:
your retarted.. are you trying to be funny?.. your not even close
Dear Insightful Entertainment Critic:
How perceptive you are! I had no idea my re-tartation was that obvious; however, I cannot lie — I DO enjoy those delicious fruit-filled pastries over and over again. So while my heart may feel empty from your stinging yet undeniably thoughtful critique of my work, at least my re-tarted belly is full.
xoxo,
Candy
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Dear 14:
i don’t get what’s so freaky about the freckled seductress poster. i’m not a linsay lohan fan and i sometimes read your commentary and other celebrity blogs for amusement, but i have a lot of freckles myself… is it the freckles that you’re pointing out? i don’t think they have to do with linsay lohan’s character, they’re just an anotomical part of her. could you explain maybe?
Dear Anti-Sentence Case Advocate:
Yes dear, I’m pointing out the freckles. The hot, horny little specks of pigmented wanton lust sprinkled generously over her young sex-starved anatomy. Hope that answers your question.
Sincerely,
14
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Subject: OoolaaaS
14 y Candy,
Espero os agraden estos presentes y pongáis en vuestra web. Un abrazo.
Attached picture:
Why, HOLA to you, too!
How blessed we are that cyberspace has brought the three of us together! Some women may enjoy flowers. Others may enjoy dinner and a movie. But nothing makes us swoon quite like a photo of a stranger’s hairy feet. The gnarlier, the better, we always say!
Thank you, dear reader, for sharing. Those feet were clearly made for walking — straight into our hearts.
Yours in foot fetishism,
Candy & 14
Posted by 14 and Candy ♦ March 10, 2008
At 12:38 am Eize said:
O dio mio! Look at those crazeh feet! Que horror!
March 10, 2008
At 4:55 am Vern said:
I’m not allowed to use the word: “retarded” I’ve been told it isn’t nice. I suggested substituting “republican” but was told THAT isn’t nice either. Any suggestions?
p.s. I don’t use this word for people only circumstances!
March 10, 2008
At 5:15 am Jane said:
Those feet!?! Ack!
Are they feet, or hooves?
So gross, stop it Candy!
March 10, 2008
At 6:57 am BV said:
Why is there hair on one his/her feet and not on the other? I am also noticing that the growth of hair is directly proportional to the growth of corns.
March 10, 2008
At 7:44 am Dr. L said:
Jane is right! Just stop it, Candy. Some of us occasionally admire nice feet, so that is like eye torture.
Dr. L.
March 10, 2008
At 7:44 am midevil said:
Yeeeesh.
March 10, 2008
At 7:48 am 14 said:
He sent us a picture of his butt too. He makes butt print paintings and we were treated to photos of some of his “art”, along with a pic of his paint covered behind. Candy and I are STILL fighting over who gets him. Stop stealing all my men Candy!
March 10, 2008
At 7:50 am Dr. L said:
“Hoping you will be agreeable to what I have submitted and place it on your web. A hug.”
What you girls have to put up with.
14, you need to come over to the other side for awhile.
Dr. L.
March 10, 2008
At 8:27 am Faylinn said:
¡Ay Dios, esos pies! I can’t think of anything remotely witty to say. Or anything for that matter. Those feet haunt me.
But I do love how he tried to class it up by putting his feet by a potted plant to take the picture. How artistic!
March 10, 2008
At 8:55 am midevil said:
Maybe the plant helps with the foot odors.
March 10, 2008
At 10:33 am Candy said:
Where you guys see corns, I only see beauty. 14, I TOLD you we could each take a foot — but I still insist on getting the hairier one!
March 10, 2008
At 12:24 pm Adam Smith said:
A Spanish speaking Hobbit.
That’s really something of a curiousity.
How your site can be seen in Middle Earth certainly has me perplexed.
Check for improbability viruses on your computer,most anti-virus don’nt see it until it’s too late.
The consequences are potentially very serious,so make sure.
For instance,last week I spent two years in Sixteenth Century Germany.I think I may have accidently bought about the Reformation.I was trying to bring about the Enlightenment two centuries earlier,but my Early German was very poor so I mistakenly reformed Christianity instead.
Sorry.
March 10, 2008
At 4:03 pm CPTWilly said:
Well Gals, at least he is not the artist who paints with his weiner. . .
March 10, 2008
At 8:26 pm Demon Kitty said:
This reminds me of the time I was making copies of my armpit at work.
As far as feet go, this also reminds me of a foot “sex toy” I saw. It was a plastic foot, with a vagina in the sole.
March 10, 2008
At 5:49 am Because I Said So said:
Eww Kitty. What the hey kind of sex toy was that? Talk about foot fetish.
I also agree, it’s not right to call someone “retarted.”
(sounds like a twice-baked dessert?)
March 11, 2008
At 8:34 am Thorne Smith said:
Sweet zombie Jeezus! Look at those nasty, gnarly dogs!
March 11, 2008
At 6:12 am Naomi said:
hahaha freckled people should die. they are hideous. try some bleach!!!
April 6, 2008