Filed under: Weekend Drivel

• Bourne Again: Matt Damon and his wife are expecting another baby.
• Because pregnancy is the new black in Hollywood, Kimora Lee Simmons and boyfriend Djimon Hounsou may also be with child. A closet full of Baby Phat baby clothes sure to follow. How… lucky for the kid.
• Britney Spears being stalked by a fan who’s sending her “threatening packages,” including one with a “lavender-colored, battery-operated sex toy.” Yup, nothing more threatening than a pastel vibrator: “Call 911! I’m being attacked by a rabbit!”
• Pregnant Lisa Marie Presley is suing The Daily Mail for libel over publishing an article saying she’s gained weight. Sources say even the baby is laughing, “Good luck with that one, Mom.”
• Justin Timberlake producing an NBC sitcom about a thirty-something bachelor who consults a therapist to help him figure out why his romances fail. What an original concept! Don’t you agree, Scott Baio?
• 10,000 BC tops the box office with $35.7 million this weekend. Well, with reviews like “within a few minutes into the ponderous prehistoric pseudo-epic that is 10,000 B.C., you find yourself longing for George of the Jungle to crash into a tree or the Geico cavemen to amble up and put an end to the droning seriousness of this tedious tale” and “10,000 B.C. isn’t only brain-dead, it’s COMPLETELY dead. It’s inert and without a heartbeat,” it certainly sounded like a sure-fire hit!