Filed under: Babies, Jennifer Lopez, Pop Quizzes
This is even worse than school, isn’t it? Well, I hope you’ve brushed up on your daily tabloid reading, because we’re putting you on the spot with this all-important question:
Which of these rumors about Jennifer Lopez’s parenting skills has NOT been reported?
1) She requires people to wear surgical masks before meeting Max and Emme;
2) She hired six bodguards to watch the twins 24 hours/day;
3) She has retained a professional baby masseuse and a trained color therapist for them;
4) She bought two small Shetland ponies for the babies.
If you guessed “none of the above,” then get yourself a margarita (hey, it’s five o’clock somewhere) — because you guessed correctly!
Yes, according to the Chicago Sun-Times, J.Lo is so terrified of her newborn fraternal twins coming into contact with germs that she has installed dispensers containing a special hand lotion and requests that guests put on surgical masks before they enter the nursery.
And in future news, Max and Emme develop allergies to dust, foods, wool and pollen! But, hey, maybe the color therapist can help them overcome that with the right shades of pink and purple.
Posted by Candy ♦ March 4, 2008
At 10:34 am EVA said:
I’d have to go with #4, although that seems to be the most normal thing she should have spent her money on.
[Marc is a zombie and that makes me nervous. You know what zombies eat and don’t you make me tell you……poor twins]
March 4, 2008
At 11:12 am Jane said:
You forgot #5) She has planned plastic surgery for their first birthday, her fears are the babies will look JUST like their daddy.
March 4, 2008
At 11:22 am Jenn F. said:
What a dumb-ass. She’s making sure that they don’t develop natural immune systems by keeping everything disinfected and 100% bacteria free. Babies are a lot more resilient than she appears to realize.
March 4, 2008
At 11:38 am Aunt J said:
Ponies? Aunt J thinks they should just take a ride on Jennifer’s ass.
March 4, 2008
At 11:44 am CPTWilly said:
Very asstute Aunt J. Very asstute.
March 4, 2008
At 12:04 pm javelin said:
good lord, jLo better save some money for the therapy bills these two will be incurring.
March 4, 2008
At 1:04 pm Bee Hind said:
My thoughts exactly Javelin!
You know their double stroller is hermetically sealed against all bacteria and possible viruses, the twins only human contact will come in the form of gloved hands for the first twelve years of their lives. They’ll grow up to be as quirky as Howard Hughes.
March 4, 2008
At 1:46 pm martini lover said:
i have visions of her kids wearing masks all the time like michael jackson’s kids.
March 4, 2008
At 2:18 pm Kristen from MA said:
how does she expect her children to build up their immune systems?
March 4, 2008
At 3:03 pm Demon kitty said:
I agree Javelin and everyone else! You know what my only wish is, LOL? That I live long enough to read the Mommy Dearest Shit!!!!! You know it is coming! I bet we are going to have one on Angelina!
March 4, 2008
At 11:01 am stell said:
Amazing that only one of the above can be right…
March 5, 2008
At 11:06 am stell said:
Oh wait… she’s just crazy!
March 5, 2008