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Filed under: Celebrities, Sexy Time
In what I suspect was a Cabernet-filled interview with Allure, Kate Beckinsale waxes poetic about what she thinks is her best feature — her vagina — which, even more curiously, she calls “Pharaoh’s Tomb.”
The 34-year-old actress — who is married to film director Len Wiseman and has a nine-year-old daughter Lily with actor Michael Sheen — insists very few men have ever enjoyed her Tomb Twat. She said:
“I was called a slut when I split up with Michael and began seeing Len, but I’ve only ever had about three boyfriends. Only a handful of people have seen into the Pharaoh’s Tomb!”
A good thing, considering Pharaoh’s Tomb has been known to be cursed and kill those who enter with its deadly fungus. Hot!
Call me crazy, but I prefer a name that doesn’t evoke visuals of a dusty, scorpion-filled region. Something sweet and romantic, like “wiener warmer.” What do you guys think?
Posted by Candy ♦ February 28, 2008
At 4:13 pm martini lover said:
i like cooter. sounds cute and wild.
February 28, 2008
At 4:25 pm Zip said:
A classy woman!!! Sounds like marriage material!!! Oh, wait, she is!!!
February 28, 2008
At 4:28 pm CPTWilly said:
. . . but was her baby born ALREADY wrapped in swaddling?
February 28, 2008
At 4:45 pm bluehawaii said:
That’s some…healthy…self-esteem Kate’s got. Grandiose and kinda prissy.
“weiner warmer” works.
February 28, 2008
At 5:09 pm librarian kathleen said:
Oy! It’s difficult to come up with something clever, when the original material is so…well, you can’t make up this stuff!
O.K. Here’s what the image suggests to me: dust; age; the best stuff has been stolen by tomb robbers; there’s a long- dead body in there!; dung beetles.
That’s it! Dung beetles!
February 28, 2008
At 6:18 pm Demon Kitty said:
Yes, “cooter” is my all time favorite as well - naming the cunt after a character from the cast of “The Dukes of Hazzard County”.
February 28, 2008
At 6:33 pm Dr. L said:
Uh, what does she mean, “few people have ever SEE INTO the Pharoah’s tomb? She likes them to LOOK into her twat? Like a gyne exam? WTF?
I like “honey pot,” although not exactly hot sounding, as pillow talk.
February 28, 2008
At 6:40 pm Jane said:
Wow, she is irritating in that Jessica Alba way. She cannot act for shit, yet still finds a way to stay in the media by being an attention whore and saying something about her lady parts to get others attention.
She could have referred to it as her ’snake wrangler’ and talk about having sex just wearing chaps.
February 28, 2008
At 6:56 pm D Slaver said:
H Town has only room for ONE fungus & scorpion-infested twat. Paris Hilton’s gonna sue.
February 28, 2008
At 6:57 pm D Slaver said:
At 6:40 pm Jane said:
Wow, she is irritating in that Jessica Alba way. She cannot act for shit, yet still finds a way to stay in the media by being an attention whore and saying something about her lady parts to get others attention.
She could have referred to it as her ’snake wrangler’ and talk about having sex just wearing chaps.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Well said, darling. Might I say, Kate needs to shut her cock holster.
February 28, 2008
At 7:01 pm Demon Kitty said:
Did you get “honey pot” from Go Fish Dr. L? Maybe someone put a monocle in her cooter.
February 28, 2008
At 7:56 pm BV said:
My friend calls her pussy the dungeon, because it is dark and once you enter you can never leave. I call my pussy the Hotel California. You may not be able to leave, but at least they serve pink champagne on ice at the Hotel California.
February 28, 2008
At 8:30 pm Viper Tetsu said:
Someone needs to give you some sort of damned trophy for the most hilarious headline I’ve seen on any gossip site–nay, any website–nay, any printed or electronic material period–in a dog’s life. It’s hard to type whilst snickering.
I dunno…She makes alternately pompous and deluded comments about her hoo-hah, has career taste for lukewarm shit, and has been graced in this here entry with one seriously unflattering picture (did she borrow Julia Roberts’ forehead vein?). But she sorta does something to me. Maybe it’s the accent, at least when she’s not doing Zsa Zsa Gabor like she did in that shiny turd VAN HELSING.
Oh, I like ‘weiner warmer’, too, though I’ve always been slightly more partial to ‘muffin’.
February 28, 2008
At 8:35 pm Demon Kitty said:
You guys make my butt cheeks clench in delight.
February 28, 2008
At 9:08 pm Dr. L said:
Demon kitty; YES!!!
An awe-ful movie though , NO?
February 28, 2008
At 9:16 pm Demon kitty said:
Dr. L, I suspect we may have seen the movie together!
February 28, 2008
At 9:37 pm Jenn F. said:
Weiner warmer! Now that’s a good one. I’ve always gotten a kick out of the term “silk igloo”. Or just simply saying “beaver” makes me laugh out loud.
February 28, 2008
At 10:53 pm Zip said:
You had better watch that clenching around me!!!
February 28, 2008
At 6:15 am Bee Hind said:
I’ve always been partial to “Tunatown”.
February 29, 2008
At 6:31 am Jenn F. said:
Or tuna taco.
February 29, 2008
At 6:43 am Bee Hind said:
Or Winkin’ Pink Brownie Cake.
February 29, 2008
At 6:52 am Puppet said:
Martini Lover: I run around the house all the time shouting, “Crazy cooter comin’ atcha! Crazy cooter comin’ atcha!”
Cooter rules!
February 29, 2008
At 9:16 am motorcity said:
My boyfriend’s nickname for me is “Cooter”. no joke.
It’s classy, especially when he calls it out in the middle of a Panera Bread…
February 29, 2008
At 9:24 am Jenn F. said:
I’m going to find a giant vagina costume, put in on and show up at Demon Kitty’s house, and chase her around screaming “Crazy cooter comin’ atcha!”
(nice one Puppet!)
February 29, 2008
At 11:11 am Demon Kitty said:
I am a lesbian and I hate tuna. I won’t eat tuna. I want to murder the asshole who came up with the idea of women’s cunts smelling like tuna.
In the words of Nina Hartly, “a freshly washed vulva is cleaner than a human mouth.”
February 29, 2008
At 11:17 am dv8trix said:
AT 6:56 PM D SLAVER SAID:
H Town has only room for ONE fungus & scorpion-infested twat. Paris Hilton’s gonna sue.
““““““““““““““““““
Methinks she’ll just crank up the skanky, D Slaver! Good one!
February 29, 2008
At 3:26 pm DeAnna1104 said:
well i was just wondering dk, why you gots to call your stuff cooter after that dirty smelly rotten mechanic on dukes of hazard? i mean c’mmon now. every single time i saw crazy cooter comin out that damn garage i knew he wad’nt bout to get laid on that episode. i thought you were the classy type that might call yours uncle jessie, boss hogg, or the general lee. i’m just saying, u know since your brought up dukes of hazard and all. i believe that scoundrel of man by the name of andrew dice clay put that idea out there bout uncle jessy and tuna.
February 29, 2008
At 8:02 pm Demon Kitty said:
I am too tired to go into it Deanna, but there is a legitimate reason.
I don’t refer to my own as “cooter”. I treat mine with respect. LOL - no seriously. This is what I believe about “the vagina”:
Yoni according to ancient scriptures (Vedas, Samayacaratantra, YoniTantra)
• From the Yoni the Universe is created, born, and nurtured and upon death it is to the Yoni we return.
• Within the three corners of the Yoni are Brahma (the Creator/Father), Vishnu (the Preserver/Son), and Shiva (the Destroyer/Holy Ghost).
• Within the Yoni/Womb of Devi/Nature is the origin of the worlds, the Gods and all living beings.
• Yoni Puja is the worship par excellence, and by omitting it every other Puja is rendered worthless.
• Maha Shakti (Devi) is divided into four parts, each corresponding with a great Age or Yuga. Our present age is the Kali Yuga, for which Yoni worship is indicated.
(Schoterman, 1980)
• The Yoni is divided into ten different Shakti Goddesses, associated with the Dasha Mahavidya (Ten Great Knowledge’s or
Ten Wisdom Goddesses)
I cut and pasted all that. It reflects what I believe.
Paris Hilton’s cooter is the exception.
February 29, 2008
At 7:17 am DeAnna1104 said:
you are so silly. i was tempted to go to wikipedia and cut and paste some stuff meself and perhaps get into a cut and paste-off witcha but i was too tired to engage meself. instead of something quick and witty from the vagina monologues i will share with you a very special and personal song i sing to the general lee every morning…. can you count me in?
Getting to know you, getting to know all about you.
Getting to like you, getting to hope you like me.
Getting to know you, putting it my way,
But nicely,
You are precisely,
My cup of tea.
Getting to know you,
Getting to feel free and easy.
When I am with you,
Getting to know what to say
Haven’t you noticed
Suddenly I’m bright and breezy
Because of all the beautiful and new
Things I’m learning about you
Day by day.
Getting to know you,
Getting to feel free and easy.
When I am with you,
Getting to know what to say
Haven’t you noticed
Suddenly I’m bright and breezy
Because of all the beautiful and new
Things I’m learning about you
Day by day.
by Oscar Hammersein.
you started it. ;0)
March 1, 2008