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Angelina Jolie’s — Gasp! — Lesbian Encounter Revealed

Filed under: Brangelina, Crazy Clowns

angiebrad-santabarbara.jpg

As most anyone who follows celebrity news (read: 99% of the population) knows, Angelina Jolie’s sexual resume includes part-time carpet muncher. So it’s no surprise that yet another lady has come forward about a past tryst with Angie in order to make a few bucks.

Misty Cooper, a producer’s assistant on Gone in 60 Seconds, reveals:

“We immediately felt the sexual chemistry, and I could feel that she was also giving off a vibe. She looked super-hot, and I really wanted her.”

Sweet! Sounds like Misty also writes short stories for Hustler magazine. Please, do continue, Misty:

One week after their first encounter, they ended up talking at craft services and Misty realized that “Angie wanted to sleep with me as much as I was so desperate to get her into bed,” adding; “You could cut the sexual tension with knife.” … Their lusty flirting continued on and one night at a Hollywood party thrown by one of the film’s stars, Vinnie Jones, Angie made her move. While they were all dancing, Jolie pushed her body into Misty’s backside but Misty was afraid of anyone who could be watching so she didn’t make her move. Later, Angelina told Misty that she was “a tease” and Misty answered back, “Well that makes two of us.” After that, Angelina dropped the bomb; “I want you to come to my trailer, get naked, and we’ll have more fun and more photos.” And although Misty hasn’t revealed what happened once they were inside the trailer, she did say this, “Angie has very soft lips.”

That’s it? That Misty IS a tease! I was looking forward to her recollection of their “burning loins” and the way she “shivered under Angie’s electric touch.” And there must have been “throbbing clitorises” (clitori?) involved. Damn you, Misty! I’ve been left utterly unfulfilled – unlike you and Angie during that “steamy night of passion,” I’m sure.

[Source]


Posted by Candy ♦ February 22, 2008

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17 Responses to “Angelina Jolie’s — Gasp! — Lesbian Encounter Revealed”

  1. Amelia

    At 1:44 pm Amelia said:

    “More photos??”
    LOL

    February 22, 2008

  2. Dr. L

    At 1:46 pm Dr. L said:

    That’s hilarious commentary! Well done.

    February 22, 2008

  3. Vern

    At 1:52 pm Vern said:

    clitoratzi?

    clitoratamus?

    February 22, 2008

  4. DoodleWhore.com

    At 1:56 pm DoodleWhore.com said:

    I love the name “Misty”. It’s so classy.

    February 22, 2008

  5. Faylinn

    At 2:09 pm Faylinn said:

    Hmm, someone’s desperate for attention. Oh, and “burning loins?!” I just heard that on Golden Girls.

    Rose: “I didn’t know people HAD loins. I heard of pork loin…” God, I love that show.

    February 22, 2008

  6. Jane

    At 2:20 pm Jane said:

    I think plural clitoris is clitorisesssss.
    So does this person have pictures and more pictures(??)
    for proof of her Harlotquin Romance encounter with
    these famous lips?

    February 22, 2008

  7. ElB

    At 2:29 pm ElB said:

    Burning lions????? Does PETA know about this?

    Btw-its clitii….or maybe clitereeni….i don’t know, i don’t even know where it is.

    February 22, 2008

  8. Faylinn

    At 2:50 pm Faylinn said:

    Actually, the plural form of clitoris is “clitoris.” It’s like “deer” and “sheep.”

    Why, yes, I do enjoy ruining your fun with English grammar.

    February 22, 2008

  9. Dr. L

    At 2:52 pm Dr. L said:

    ELB,
    Go to the library, and find an anatomy textbook. There will be accurate pictures.
    If your local B&N doesn’t carry an explicit anatomy book, your local medical, nursing, or chiropractic school bookstore WILL.

    February 22, 2008

  10. martini lover

    At 3:12 pm martini lover said:

    gaggle of clitoris?

    February 22, 2008

  11. midevil

    At 3:20 pm midevil said:

    Two clitoris walk into a bar…

    February 22, 2008

  12. Exyank

    At 6:41 pm Exyank said:

    I don’t know the common plural of “clitoris”, but the technically correct (Greek) plural is “clitoredes”. Just FYI.

    February 22, 2008

  13. michal she

    At 7:31 am michal she said:

    clitorises in Eng. FYI

    “The loins are between the lower ribs and pelvis. It is often used when describing the anatomy of humans and quadrupeds (such as horses, pigs or cattle). The anatomical reference also carries over into the description of cuts of meat from some such animals, eg. tenderloin or sirloin steak.

    The term also loosely refers to human genitals due to their prominence in that anatomical region. Hence “fruit of one’s loins” means children.” -wiki

    February 23, 2008

  14. It's British Bitch

    At 9:28 am It’s British Bitch said:

    What does Jenny Shimazu have to say about this? We haven’t heard from her in a while and she never misses a chance to call up the press and discuss her tuppence-licking days with Angie. My mates and I love making up limericks using “Shimazu”/Kalemazoo and Digeridoo. I want to see pictures of Misty Cooper. The name alone is brilliant, it sounds like it belongs to a one-time “exotic” dancer turned truck-stop prostitute.

    February 23, 2008

  15. CPTWilly

    At 3:30 pm CPTWilly said:

    This explains why Brad is now wearing facial hair–he wanted more kisses.

    February 23, 2008

  16. Thorne Smith

    At 7:33 pm Thorne Smith said:

    You’d think my focus would be on the Angelina’s girl-on-girl tryst story… but no — it’s on Brad’s circa 1977 pornstar hair. Can’t…take…my…eyes…off…its…hideousness…

    February 23, 2008

  17. midevil

    At 11:32 am midevil said:

    Mmmmm, Ron Jeremy! *rowr*

    February 24, 2008

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