Filed under: Holiday Tributes
Okay, so Presidents’ Day is technically a celebration of George Washington’s birthday and store sales. However, we at Holy Candy — who refuse to get caught up in facts — have decided to honor the holiday’s namesake with a more appropriate and respectful tribute:
A poll of the hottest U.S. presidents!
So who do you think is the most hump-worthy prez?
1) Bill Clinton for the way he blows on that sax;
2) JFK for asking, “Ask not what Candy can do for you, but what you can do for Candy”… or something like that;
3) Ronald Reagan for starring in a movie called “Bedtime for Bonzo”;
4) William H. Taft for getting stuck in the White House bathtub — ’cause nothing is hotter than that;
5) None of the above. I vote for ______ because ______.
Posted by Candy ♦ February 18, 2008
At 3:10 pm martini lover said:
i’ve always thought bill was the hotness. i don’t care what anyone says.
let the monica jokes begin.
February 18, 2008
At 3:47 pm Javelin said:
george washington, with his wig on backwards. jk, bill clinton for sure. unless there is a cross dressing prez I haven’t heard about.
February 18, 2008
At 4:02 pm Annie said:
I’d love to know how JFK was in the sack….
February 18, 2008
At 4:07 pm Julie said:
JFK, baby!
February 18, 2008
At 4:31 pm Happy Go Lucky said:
Hellz yeah, JFK!…maybe you shoulda put up a young ronny reagan?? i have no idea but maybe he was hot back in the day…??
February 18, 2008
At 4:39 pm Kate said:
They all have their endearing qualities…
Clinton’s sax playing was pretty hott,
JFK was America’s Presidential sweetheart,
Reagen had the charming smile,
and Taft had an incredibly rockin’ mustache.
It’s a difficult decision.
February 18, 2008
At 4:53 pm librarian kathleen said:
Annie: there are a whole bunch
of biographies and tell-all books
that attest to JFK’s lively
bedroom antics…seems as though
he was energetic and enthusiastic,
but not necessarily precise and
thorough, if you get my drift.
February 18, 2008
At 5:01 pm Vern said:
Gotta be Bill. JFK was gorgeous, but he had a bad back and I can’t believe he could do much. Whereas Bill is tall. And…..experienced! I would hope it would be more fun!
(Not to cloud the issue with that ‘being alive’ part)
And…I guess..the OTHER two have…..hats.
February 18, 2008
At 5:44 pm jewed said:
Anyone but Dubbya!
February 18, 2008
At 6:09 pm midevil said:
JFK had back problems, no? So he was creative… I’d have to go with him, none of the others are even remotely appealing.
February 18, 2008
At 6:14 pm mateo said:
I’m sticking with President Paul Newman. But I drink…
February 18, 2008
At 6:20 pm mateo said:
In “reality”, though. I’m with Vern. Nicely done…
February 18, 2008
At 7:15 pm Vern said:
Mateo! I drink to you! Paul Newman is a genius idea!
February 18, 2008
At 8:02 pm bluehawaii said:
Cheers! Paul Newman.
February 18, 2008
At 8:45 pm Randi said:
Bill Clinton. Musicans are hot.
February 18, 2008
At 8:48 pm Bee Hind said:
Taft hands down.
The chubby ones try harder!
But now that I think of it-
President Paul in ‘08!
(He was way hotter than Redford.)
February 18, 2008
At 9:16 pm It’s British Bitch said:
If I had a time machine I’d get jiggy with ol’ rough ‘n’ ready Zachary Taylor. Those untamed black brows do it for me.
Otherwise I’d go with Taft. Bee Hind is correct in that the chubby ones try harder. I can also only imagine the folds and crevices to explore on his portly frame, each time you would find something new - food, jewels, an underground tunnel to Australia. He could keep that natty boater hat on as well.
Reagan was into bestiality I believe - I have a comedy pic of him as an actor in bed with Bozo the chimp. I can remember thinking him both comical and just plain stupid when I first became aware of his existence aged around 8. I instantly clocked the appalling dyed hair and found his anti-Soviet rhetoric very amusing. (probably with guidance from my parents admittedly).
For all we know Carter could be a total pervert behind that cardigan, he has very voluptuous lips. Some of the filthiest (and therefore best) shags I have had have been from that nerdy type. Same goes for Harry Truman with those wire rimmed glasses. I bet he’d be NASTY. (purely aesthetically, couldn’t actually sleep with someone who gave the order to bomb Hiroshima and Nagasaki.)
I agree with Vern - bad back means JFK was probably just hype as a good shag. He probably just expected to sit there and get blown. I just never found him hot.
Oh yeah, I’d shag Obama as well if he wasn’t married. Mrs. Obama is too cool to cuckold so I guess I’ll just admire him from afar.
Next edition: Vice Presidents and First Ladies who I’d shag. Not Jackie though, she was just a goddess, I couldn’t even think of such perfection in a smutty way.
Oh yeah: forgot to mention, I am VERY drunk right now.
February 18, 2008
At 7:20 am Annie Nonymous said:
Hey British Bitch - Excellent work here and also on the David Banda. So you are really who you say you are. Shag gave you away. If you ever Eurostar it to Gare de Nord let me know. Could be fun to rank people in person.
On doable Presidents,I met someone who met Bill and she said he had such a powerful charisma in person that she could understand how ML would let him play with a cigar. So I’ll go with Bill sans les accessoires
February 19, 2008
At 7:26 am chantalle said:
Definitely Grover Cleveland.. im a chubby chaser who’s always wanted to yell out “Ohhhhh GROVER!!” in bed
February 19, 2008
At 1:23 pm Ten Dollah Luv said:
HAMILTON!!!
Go look at a ten dollar bill.
I’ll wait.
Hamilton!
Rrrowrr. Hot stuff.
February 19, 2008
At 6:07 pm scott said:
These are just a few people I thought looked believable as president in movies, or whatever. Morgan Freeman was a president in a movie. I think he’s cool. Harrison Ford was a fantastic movie prez. Was Farrah Fawcett president in the ’70s, or was she just the poster on my wall?! oh yeah, that was it. I suppose if she had been on the ballot when I was 18, I might have voted for her. Yeah, I was totally sober, and girl crazy.
February 19, 2008
At 6:18 pm scott said:
Well not the whole time I was that age, but you know what I mean. And since all the presidents were men, I need to think a while which woman would have been a good president or at least a good date. lol
February 19, 2008
At 6:23 pm scott said:
Okay, I came up with two: Barbara Eden and the Green lady character in StarTrek.
February 19, 2008
At 6:26 pm scott said:
when i was about 10 i wanted to marry them. hahaha
February 19, 2008