Filed under: Celebutards
After getting arrested yesterday for shoplifting, Bai Ling is now blaming her life of crime on a bad break-up.
The actress (?), 37 (?), claims she was dealing with the “huge problem of breaking up [before] Valentine’s Day” when she decided to steal two celebrity magazines and a pack of batteries (a $16 value) from a gift shop at L.A.’s LAX airport yesterday.
Ah, dude, if you’re gonna steal, steal big — at LEAST an “I Heart L.A.” t-shirt and a bottled water (which is at least $16 itself at the airport).
Bai explained to E! that she took a five-finger discount because: “Wrong boyfriend.”
Um, okay. She also expressed regret — via an acid trip-induced haiku — on her personal blog yesterday:
“I am in Albuquerque with my heart feeling sad, and my emotions are running through me like a wild river, tears come from the lake of my heart hurt my eyes. Life happens to you either you liked it or not, sometimes I feel you have to be so brave to stand in front of the World, and just hope that people will have a tender heart toward you.”
That makes TOTAL sense! I think we can all learn from her wisdom. Let’s use the Bai Ling Guide to Regret from now on, shall we? Cut someone off in traffic, we’ll shrug, “Wrong boyfriend.” Someone screams at you for cutting in line at the grocery store, just sigh, “Tears come from the lake of my heart hurt my eyes.”
Seriously, how can anyone argue with that?
Posted by Candy ♦ February 15, 2008
At 11:04 am Amelia said:
Excuses, excuses.
This made me cackle with
evil delight when I read
that she was in some
sort of trouble. I’m
really, really evil.
I know.
I like how you addressed
her as actress (?), 37 (?).
February 15, 2008
At 11:09 am johntherevelator said:
Wow, I was falling asleep at work till this made me laugh so hard I had to go pee.
February 15, 2008
At 11:45 am Melissa said:
I must say that everyday I read an article on here and no matter how bad my life is going there is always something on here that just brightens my day. And from now on when anything bothers me I know wxactly what to say. Wrong Boyfriend.
February 15, 2008
At 12:02 pm c’est moi said:
after reading this i went to the store and
stole 3 magazines and 7 double a batteries..
when question by store security i replied “bai ling is sad” and he said “wrong boyfriend”
and let me go….im enlightened and so are you
February 15, 2008
At 2:28 pm Javelin said:
wow, the judge is in for a treat.
February 15, 2008
At 2:42 pm midevil said:
I’m sorry, but nothing can overshadow Brit Brit stealing a lighter right in front of the glare of a thousand pap cameras clicking away as her mind disintegrates into cheeto stained puddles on a gas station floor.
February 15, 2008
At 3:12 pm Jenn F. said:
I am Asian Paris Hilton
my fashion choices make you cry
big lake of my heart
make my nose go snuffle snuffle
me so brave
me so tacky
five dollah fucky fucky.
February 15, 2008
At 3:46 pm librarian kathleen said:
Boink! (Insert here image of a
person slapping her forehead.)
“I coulda had a shoplift!”
If only I had figured this out in
my younger days, I would have
collected a bunch of useless junk!
(Jenn F., you are golden. I laugh out
loud!)
February 15, 2008
At 7:23 pm bluehawaii said:
My heart is broken. If I could get my hands on umm magazines and umm batteries I just know I’ll be OK!
WTF! Steal a bottle of tequila at least! That would make more sense.
February 15, 2008
At 5:29 am Madame Marie said:
Well in all fairness to her, she’s also batshit crazy in Mandarin or Cantonese or whatever her first language is, so she’s a second language up on me.
I have adopted ‘wrong boyfriend’ as my personal mantra.
Javelin and Jenn F — i tips me ‘at to yas, guv’naaaaaas.
February 16, 2008
At 6:18 am Jo Jo said:
were the batteries for a vibrator?
February 17, 2008
At 7:29 am Amelia said:
Jenn F & Jo Jo:
Good ones!!
February 17, 2008
At 7:49 am Vern said:
Jenn F.
That was fabulous make poem!
February 17, 2008