Filed under: Paris Hilton
Paris Hilton’s publicist Elliot Mintz went incognito at Paris’ pre-birthday party last night by disguising himself with just a couple cans of Zebster Shock Orange spray paint. He likely went undercover because his client’s latest project, The Hottie and the Nottie, bombed harder than Jason “Gummi Bear” Davis falling off a high dive.
The Hottie and the Nottie, which deserves an Oscar for its name alone, opened on 111 screens this Friday and took in just $9,000 — the equivalent of $81 per screen and ten people suffering through each show, according to Box Office Mojo.
My friends and I are considering smuggling some flasks into a matinée show and drinking every time Paris — whose acting is more wooden than a solid plank of oak — spews such gems as, “Life without orgasms is like a world without flowers.”
What do you think? Holy Candy field trip!
Posted by Candy ♦ February 10, 2008
At 12:41 pm Adam Smith said:
Holy Candy WROTE:
What do you think? Holy Candy field trip!:
I think you would be at high risk of alcohol poisoning.
Don’t do it.
Or do it,and try to make a call to the Emergency services when your field of vision begins receding into darkness.
Reminds me of the game that people used to play with Dallas.Whenever someone drank a drink on
the program you would match it.
This was often a lot, since everyone on that program was in a constant search for alcohol fuelled oblivion.
Unfortunately for me when I tried it it was the Oil Baron’s Ball.
I almost ended up in a coma.
February 10, 2008
At 1:28 pm Jenn said:
I agree with Adam - if you took a drink everytime Paris said something vapid you would end up in a coma - fast. Seriously what is with the guys face and that colour. He really did not do this to himself on purpose. Did he?
February 10, 2008
At 1:49 pm Adam Smith said:
Jenn WROTE:
Seriously what is with the guys face and that colour. He really did not do this to himself on purpose. Did he?
Unfortunately he did.
In a vainglorious attempt to look like a virile Latin Lothario,he ended up instead,resembling
a depressed Oompa Loompah.
Pictured here:
http://6your6sweet6.blogspot.com/2007/12/this-week-is-going-sooo-fucking-slow-i.html
Plus I’ve never that cunt smile.
I would if I was making that much cash out of
a wealthy submental,with absolutely no
redeeeming qualities.Money showers,golden swans,
and cash dancing would be the order of the day for me.
February 10, 2008
At 1:56 pm Adam Smith said:
That last comment should read:
Plus,I’ve never seen that cunt smile.
Once.
Ever.
Gratuitous swearing.One of my favourite
activities.
In correcting myself I got to do it twice.
Brilliant.
An odd sense of pride is passing over me.
February 10, 2008
At 3:08 pm martini lover said:
count me in for the field trip. i’ll bring the intravenous water drip to keep us hydrated!
February 10, 2008
At 3:29 pm midevil said:
Yay! I’ll sneak the bags of chocolate in!
February 10, 2008
At 4:41 pm that_girl said:
“Life without orgasms is like a world without flowers.”
I actually sort of agree with that. Paris is still a vapid skank, of course. I can’t believe I think her music is good. I don’t have good taste in music.
February 10, 2008
At 4:43 pm Jo Jo said:
“I don’t like the look of it..”
February 10, 2008
At 5:21 pm bv said:
I especially like how his orange face is reflecting off his mirror like jacket.
February 10, 2008
At 5:57 pm Javelin said:
I imagine ‘Paris Hilton acting’ is its own ring of hell, right after ‘Jessica Simpson acting’… who else do you think occupies a ring of hell?
February 10, 2008
At 7:04 pm Jenn F. said:
After two weeks of travelling about followed by generally being buried with life and its assorted collection of flying shit-bombs, it’s nice to be back here.
I can’t believe that movie didn’t go straight to video. I can’t believe there were ten people at each said theatre location that supposedly sat through it.
I can’t believe Adam has finally joined the Holy Rollers. It’s been high time for a long time. In fact, I’m certain you’re already high. Good to see you, Adam.
February 10, 2008
At 8:05 pm Adam Smith said:
Jenn F WROTE:
I can’t believe Adam has finally joined the Holy Rollers. It’s been high time for a long time. In fact, I’m certain you’re already high. Good to see you, Adam.
Good to see you too.
You should’nt be too surprised though.
I’ve been practising omnipresence for a while.
You should try it,it lets you get loads done
in a day.
As for your suggestion that I sully myself
with the sordid world of drug abuse…
Well,that sort of stuff actually occurs a
lot less often than it would appear.
Though judging from some of the rather
freeform approaches I take to consensus
reality,you could be forgiven for thinking otherwise.
February 10, 2008
At 8:11 pm Adam Smith said:
Javelin WROTE:
who else do you think occupies a ring of hell?
Anyone currently in the process of fucking
Perez Hilton.
I’m sorry I could’nt resist that one.
February 10, 2008
At 8:21 pm kathleen said:
good lord! this man is a publicist?!
February 10, 2008
At 9:05 pm martini lover said:
ring of hell - heidi montag as a “singer”!
February 10, 2008
At 9:44 pm lola said:
Well, orgasms are *like* flowers. You can get them for yourself for free, but they’re so much nicer when someone makes an effort and gives you some good ones.
Ugh, listen to me, I could write Samantha Jones’ dialogue….
February 10, 2008
At 11:38 pm scott said:
was that a star trek character? that’s a cool look. when i was a teen, i wanted to be kiss.
February 10, 2008
At 11:39 pm scott said:
i mean be in the rock group. haha
February 10, 2008
At 6:52 am Bee Hind said:
First of all, pink and orange do not go together.
Second, use a small clean, dampened sponge blend the orange make up. Always work from the face outwards, to avoid an accumulation around the hairline-move from the cheeks to the ears, from between the brows down over the nose, from the chin out towards the jaw, then onto the neck. Work quickly, carefully and lightly. Blend well around the hairline, on the neck, below the eyes and behind the ears. Finally blot the face with a clean dry tissue, pressing it lightly over the skin.
February 11, 2008
At 12:38 pm kathleen said:
ok - so now i know how to apply orange make up correctly.
but WHY apply orange make up?!
what the hell was he going for?
February 11, 2008
At 12:59 pm Vern said:
Won’t we feel bad to find out that the orange is some kind of burn ointment. Or skank repellant!
February 11, 2008
At 4:55 pm Bee Hind said:
I’m going with the latter Vern.
Kathleen-
maybe he was going incognito as a Sunkist orange,
embarrassed that he used to be in John Lennon’s inner circle,
and now he’s working for the likes of Paris Hilton.
February 11, 2008
At 8:20 pm Vern said:
Oh Man! This guy worked with Lennon? Kind of hurts my brain. Say it aint so Bee Hind!
February 11, 2008
At 11:45 pm It’s British Bitch said:
Adam Smith, you are marvellous. A Wealth of Nations Indeed. You wrote cunt. More than once. I like that.
Javelin: John Mayer and his grotesque facial expressions are their own circle of hell.
February 11, 2008
At 11:49 pm It’s British Bitch said:
Adam Smith : Unfortunately for me when I tried it it was the Oil Baron’s Ball.
OMG that just reminded me of the best line from Dallas ever. JR “That rodent Cliff Barnes bit me”. After a smack down at the Oil Baron’s Ball that year.
February 11, 2008
At 6:18 am Bee Hind said:
I’m afraid it is Vern,
he was friends with John and Yoko.
It’s unfortunate that he now works for a spoiled heiress,
but I guess everyone has bills to pay.
February 12, 2008
At 6:49 am Vern said:
Imagaine.
February 12, 2008
At 6:50 am Vern said:
oops! kinda lost the feeling for me now.
Imagine!
February 12, 2008
At 11:40 am Stefy said:
Hey isnt that Lindsey lohans soul mate?
Theyre both famous for god knows what’
Theyre both orange
They both hate Paris
February 12, 2008