Filed under: Britney Spears
Which is funny, because Britney’s hills look scared of her.
Another day, another completely normal Britney Spears story that I inexplicably must share with you…
Britney was enjoying a spin in her new black Mercedes last night, followed by her entourage of paparazzi, of course, when she got lost. A photographer gave her a shortcut through the Hills, which ended up frightening Britney. She got out of her car and said she was “dizzy” and “scared” from being too close to the edge — so, naturally, a paparazzo got into her car and helped navigate.
For once, I understand where Britney is coming from. I happen to be an open house whore, and went to check one out in the Malibu Hills, and my hands were literally dripping in sweat (hot!) from driving that close to the edge with NO GUARDRAIL! Might as well call ‘em the Hills of Death, ’cause that’s what they are.
And, now that I think about it, I was wearing the very same outfit when I drove through the hills. Brit and I not only share a fear of perilous roads, but also an elegant style.
Posted by Candy ♦ January 30, 2008
At 9:43 am Javelin said:
awhile back I freaked out and drove off the road because I was convinced that the little patches of fog were actually ghosts coming after me. (also I was stoned)
January 30, 2008
At 10:05 am Jenn F. said:
That top could not be more brutal.
See-through, skanky, ugly, and unflattering.
January 30, 2008
At 10:07 am Holy Terror said:
She was also speaking in the British accent, and demanding that one of the paps turn the car around FOR her. Then she bit her nails seductively as they urged her on, and asked one of them, “Will you come with me?” The sap er pap eagerly jumped into the car and off they went. Britney and her paps. So cute.
January 30, 2008
At 11:31 am Michelle said:
There is nothing more scary that ripping off grandma’s curtains to make a tie-top that accentuates dinner-plate nips and a pot belly. Ew.
January 30, 2008
At 11:54 am PoorBritney.com said:
Between her fits of BRIT’sh jibber, nail biting, barking orders, dialted pupils, and crazy circling of the car, she seems to be doing much better.
January 30, 2008
At 12:46 pm I’m over it said:
Oh Jenn, you just described Angelina’s dress at the SAG awards in a nutshell. The skanks dress was brutal, ugly and unflattering just like you said.
January 30, 2008
At 12:49 pm I’m over it said:
If it weren’t for people like you- none of us would be able to figure out that Britney looked like a mess- you know, cause you’re just on the cutting- edge of fashion and you know about all the hottest trends- like cutting down some drapes from your living room and wearing them to the SAG awards.. too funny…
January 30, 2008
At 1:35 pm Ohno said:
I wouldn’t trust Britney to drive a golf cart down my driveway, much less a car in the hills. Can’t the court take away her keys too??
January 30, 2008
At 1:47 pm martini lover said:
she almost looks sophisticated. she just needs a trucker hat to complete the look.
January 30, 2008
At 2:26 pm Jenn F. said:
“I’m over it” ~ Jesus, are you still going on about that? Time to move on. I’m really not sure what your issue is, and why you’re so determined to try to pick at me, but can we please get over it and move on like adults?
January 30, 2008
At 2:30 pm midevil said:
I can’t take the nipples anymore. Can we get the Brit-Brit news with dots over those things, please?
January 30, 2008
At 2:40 pm Candy said:
My apologies, midevil. As one who must pore over dozens of Britney pictures every day, I’ve been forced to desensitize myself to the point where I don’t even see the nipples anymore. I will be sure to consult with my cats for nipple checks in the future.
January 30, 2008
At 2:48 pm midevil said:
Wow, Candy, I’m so sorry! You have my sympathy! I had no idea you were subjected to that many photos of her on a daily basis! I’m rather fortunate and only suffer through 3 or 4 at the most. *thank fucking satan*
January 30, 2008
At 4:44 pm Happy Go Lucky said:
Britney has long since put a rest to all that
teeny-bopper-implant speculation….do your
breasts hang low, do they wobble…
January 30, 2008
At 5:56 am Bee Hind said:
We should give her credit-
at least she’s wearing a top.
January 31, 2008