Filed under: Britney Spears
Listen up, Beverly Hills residents. Lock up your children because there’s a predator on the loose. Yes, a predator that’s more dangerous than Andy Dick!
A source tells Us Weekly that a “scantily clad” Britney Spears showed up at a Beverly Hills elementary school, saying she was there to pick up someone else’s kids. She apparently parked her car outside the school and spent 10 minutes smoking cigarettes and talking to herself while she waited for classes to let out.
“She was just rambling and confused,” says the witness, who bravely approached Britney to ask if she was okay. “She said, ‘I’m here to pick up my kids.’ But then she changed her story and said, ‘They aren’t my kids; I have a new attorney, and I came to pick them up for her.’”
Adds the witness, “All I could think was, Who in their right mind would let her pick up their kids?”
As children began to leave for the day, Britney caused a commotion — “It became the talk of the school. Some of the kids were freaked out,” says a school source. So she was directed to a more secure entrance around back.
But before getting into her car and leaving (without any children), she talked to the female witness: “She said, ‘You’re so nice. You should give me your number. I don’t have very many friends.’”
Fingers crossed she wasn’t wearing that shirt. Her bazookas look like they’re about to fire off — and they’re aimed right at the children! If those freaky dancing robots at Chuck E. Cheese don’t give the kids nightmares, this certainly will.
Posted by Candy ♦ January 24, 2008
At 10:49 am Paige said:
I have no words.
January 24, 2008
At 10:58 am Julie said:
Um, shouldn’t the police have been called if she was trying to “pick up” someone else’s kids without anyone at the school knowing that in advance??
January 24, 2008
At 11:01 am omj said:
I just don’t want to be subjected to her anymore. At this point, I’m more familiar with her various bits ‘n pieces than my own. And it’s grossing me OUT.
January 24, 2008
At 11:02 am MMB said:
She. Needs. Help.
January 24, 2008
At 11:12 am helloandie said:
I don’t believe this story. I mean, it’s kind of a fun one all things considered, but there are cameras on her at all times. Surely there would be pictures of this.. I mean attempted kidnapping is kind of a big deal.
P.S. Sometimes your redirect ads crash my browser. I hate those things anyway, but always click a few times to support my favorite of bloggers.. but lately they just up and crash Firefox.
Thought you might like to know.
January 24, 2008
At 11:38 am Lee said:
I’ve read somewhere that she does get out of house without paps noticing. It has happened before.
January 24, 2008
At 11:40 am midevil said:
Yeesh… If it is true, could they not have taken her and done a psychiatric evaluation?
Girl has got to get rid of that shirt–and put something better on, with a bra.
January 24, 2008
At 12:39 pm PoorBritney.com said:
Hehehe!! I love what you wrote more than the story itself
January 24, 2008
At 12:49 pm EVIL DICK said:
Nice hangers
January 24, 2008
At 1:37 pm martini lover said:
my eyes, my eyes!
January 24, 2008
At 5:23 pm tiki said:
Perhaps she was trying to pick up extra kids to qualify for more of that new tax refund they were talking about on the news today … I actually thought about either getting some kids, pronto, or, filing a return for my cat today to increase my refund as well.
January 24, 2008
At 5:52 pm scott said:
britney still makes me horny in a very profoundly mundane sort of way.
January 24, 2008
At 5:55 pm scott said:
bad mommy is an even worse personal hair stylist.
January 24, 2008
At 9:14 pm January said:
Still not as weird as when my ex-sister-in-law
came to pick up her kids (she had also lost
custody and was a total bat-shit nut)..
She was wearing only a damask table cloth,
work boots and red lipstick - not on her lips…
yup - she was a meth head…
January 24, 2008
At 9:50 pm Happy Go Lucky said:
Love the bazookas comment! I like how she left
w/o the kids: she fucks up w her kids and every-
one else’s.
January 24, 2008
At 10:55 am Lost @Sea said:
I Cant believe she did that! Its SO Funny!!
January 28, 2008