Filed under: Tom Cruise, Tom Cruise Art
EXCLUSIVE! We were able to obtain the raw transmission of Tom Cruise. Scientologist as it beamed to Earth from the far reaches of outer space. A warning to some of you, this transmission is extremely disturbing as it contains the actual voices of evil silicon-based Xenu aliens from a distant galaxy. They appear to be dictating to Tom what to say. Behold ye, this chilling recording:UPDATE: We now have a music video for the Tom Cruise’s Alien Transmission from Outer Space thanks to Candy Kirby of Holy Candy. I’m not the only blogger who communicates with aliens…
Now that you’re scared out of your wits, check out The Top 10 Reasons Clowns Are Scary for more chills.Vocals and musical composition by 14 via Garage Band.
Posted by 14 ♦ January 16, 2008
At 2:29 pm Knox Bronson said:
Oh my, 14 … my crush on you, now that i’ve heard your sexy voice, just got much bigger … MUCH …
But I am sure Tom gets scared by the girl-energy and does exactly as told.
January 16, 2008
At 2:51 pm Jenn F. said:
Holy shit, that was fan-fucking-tastic. I’m sorry, but there’s no other way to describe it. I had it cranked on my computer speakers (sub-woofer and all) and the whole Xenu vibe was going strong. Loves it!!!
You could have a whole bunch of transmissions from Tom on a weekly broadcast. And if the little weiner starts getting all hot under the collar, then just change it to “Cruising with Xenu”. Then he can’t claim it’s personal.
MORE MORE MORE!!!!
January 16, 2008
At 3:22 pm Doodlewhore.com said:
Now you’ve gone all multimedia on us. Does your talent know no bounds?
January 16, 2008
At 4:46 pm midevil said:
Oh my, I just figured it out, you’re the leader of $cientology.
January 16, 2008
At 5:05 pm Thorne Smith said:
14 — I think you captured the sounds that bounce around inside of Tommy Mapother’s head perfectly!
I’m an SP and I’m proud of it.
January 16, 2008
At 5:34 pm Eize said:
Damn chilling, all right! Brava!
Will there be an animated short in the near future?
January 16, 2008
At 6:50 pm Dave said:
I think I might be converting to Scientology after hearing this. Xenu’s quite persuasive.
January 16, 2008
At 7:12 pm Dana said:
Jesus tapdancing christ, I’m going to have nightmares about that track.
I think that would be the most AWESOME music for a room in a haunted house, though! Oh, the possibilities!
January 16, 2008
At 8:12 pm Peter said:
That was amazing! I need to learn Garage Band.
It reminded me of Revolution #9, some early Pink Floyd recordings, Vincent Price, and especially of an album of scary sound effects produced by Disney.
When I was a kid my older brother would lock me in a room and make me listen to such great tracks as ‘Chinese Water Torture’ and ‘Death by Saw Blade.’ When the record got me really upset my mother got mad broke it in half by stepping on it in the front yard. Who’s going to save us from Tom Cruises scary dispatches from Plant $cientology? Mom?!
January 16, 2008
At 8:14 pm Demon Kitty said:
wow 14!
January 16, 2008
At 2:37 am Mr. Snrub said:
That is so bizarre. Great, but bizarre. What is the message? Can it be played backwards?
January 17, 2008
At 5:10 am vern said:
What I want to know is-in this battle for world domination that is raging like a Brit-storm between Tommy-San and Oprah-Wan, who do you think will win?
January 17, 2008
At 7:23 am vern said:
Oh! Forgot to say-Love the alien’s chair!!!!
14 & Candy- better than Ben & Jerry!
January 17, 2008
At 12:01 pm Noxx said:
that was really really creepy. Good job!
January 17, 2008
At 12:37 pm Demon Kitty said:
I just looked at the fucking video Candy made for you! I laughed. It was fucking brilliant! Fucking brilliant! Tom Cruise is such a fucking maniac. He is just buttfucking scary!
January 17, 2008
At 3:34 pm isa said:
PLEASE GO TO YOU TUBE AND IN THE SEARCH TYPE IN ” YAAFM SCIENTOLOGY ” YOU WON’T BE SORRY =)
January 17, 2008
At 7:10 pm Chansmom said:
LOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!!!!!! Absolutely hilarious!!!! The whole Tom Cruise thing is starting up again, and it’s all Tom’s fault. Sometimes silence is golden, but not in his case, or his so-called church.
Who cares about what people think of his “religion?” Those that are smart enough to stay away from it, will. And those that have money to burn, will flock there in droves, and get taken for every cent they have.
You know what I find so amusing about Tom? The fact that he’s been married 3 times. Why hasn’t this “religion” managed to work for him when it comes to matters of the heart? Yeah, thought so, there’s one born every minute. LOL!
Oh well, Katie’s a happy camper dressing in the lastest and greatest, but those gawd awful wide cuffed pants have got to go! Otherwise, she’s a lovely little robot.
January 17, 2008
At 11:13 am Javelin said:
oh dear xenu, that puppet thing is hilarious! the crooked smile nails it, like the alien hand is twitching strings in his jaw. and the slideshow– damn, you and Candy could use your tom cruise inspired material to do a halloween haunted house, for real.
January 18, 2008
At 1:18 pm Keith said:
Tom Cruise needs to do some serious analysis to determine what has made him a Scientology fanatic…a most talented actor, but personally, I cannot image why he is so into Scientology…simply cannot understand…
January 18, 2008
At 3:27 pm Derwood said:
I like the audio. But there’s a familiar sound in there, and it’s driving me nuts (maybe that’s the point!)… something from “Mountain of Needles” from ” My Life in the Bush of Ghosts” ?
January 18, 2008
At 8:09 pm Sage said:
“There’s nothing funny about a clown in the moonlight.”
January 19, 2008
At 2:08 pm TheReallyJamesBond said:
“WOW!”
January 20, 2008
At 10:51 pm MDF said:
I used to like Tom Cruise before the couch jumping, the critique of Brooke Shields and chastising Matt Lauder.
He seemed to have calmed down, but due to his bizarre behavior in the past, he has hurt his public image and movie career, I believe. Oh well…
He has his millions so I think he will be okay.
January 20, 2008
At 7:04 pm Adam Smith said:
Tom Cruise is a sex torpedo made of man love.
He’s the alphabetical soup that turns love into loathe,(if left on the boil too long).
He’s The Artist Formerly Known As Alison Petticoat.
He’s a rusted Soviet tank,that some East German kids made into a climbing frame.
He does a Kung Fu kick,if you press his head down.
He cries,he wanks.
He wanks,he cries.
He’s the thought that remains trapped between two adjacent thoughts.
He’s that thing that keeps you from letting your feet from under the duvet,even when their sweating like fuck.
He’s also what made that pidgeon fly into my window last night.
It’s fucking dead.
He’s taller than Katie,when she’s on all fours.
Jumping on sofas?
Once,he did a shit in my salad.
He’s a Liquorice Nightmare.
January 24, 2008
At 12:08 pm Kipling said:
Oh man, I feel dumb. I was watching this and thinking, that narrator’s voice is gorgeous, really smooth and lovely. Then the penny dropped and I realized it’s your voice. Girl, you should go into voiceover work. Damn.
January 26, 2008