Just What Oprah Needs

Filed under: Entertainment, Media, Oprah

The Scientologists ain’t got nothin‘ on Oprah in terms of world domination…

oprah-network.jpg

Not content with dominating most every facet of media, Oprah Winfrey is now getting her own darn TV network, too.

Yes, Oprah, who wasn’t happy with her investment in Oxygen because “it didn’t reflect her vision at all,” is forming a 50-50 joint venture with Discovery Communications to launch the Oprah Winfrey Network — or OWN.

The real Queen of All Media will be chairman of the network and have “full editorial control,” with responsibility for programming, branding and creative vision.

Screw Guitar Hero — I want MY own network for my birthday! I shall call it the Candy Ann Network, or CAN. It’ll feature programs with hard-hitting investigative pieces on The State of Britney’s Boots and a reality show, Imaginary Love, following my whirlwind romance with Clooney. Look out, Oprah — CAN is going to be nipping at your heels.

Just as Gayle likes to do.


Posted by Candy ♦ January 15, 2008

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8 Responses to “Just What Oprah Needs”

  1. omj

    I’d tune into the CAN everyday.

  2. martini lover

    me too. better than all the sappy crap on OWN.

  3. Vern

    I hope it’s more successful than her school!

  4. Jane

    Crazy Op has entered televangelist territory.
    Her gi-normous over-inflated sense of self has
    hit an all time level.
    Crazy-Ass-OP TV, 24/7. You know it will only feature her ass, just like her self named rag mag, “O”.

    Meanwhile, when the f**k is she going to have
    time to raise those “three future adopted
    children” she mentioned in her will recently?

    Op and crazy Tom Cruise want to rule your world.

    Run for the hills!!!!

  5. Jenn F.

    How much freaking money does she need? Jesus, there are better things she could be doing with her time.

  6. kali

    Wait until she runs for public office. Her legions of brainwashed housewife followers will vote for her and she and Gail will be the President and First Lady. And then I will kill myself.

  7. slayer of fools

    Jeez, you folks are some jealous pigs. How much money does she want? As much as she can make. And, her school is very successful. How much money does she want. . .go ask rupert murdoch, go ask bill gates. . ..go ask everybody else on forbes list of the wealthy, you jealous, racist - yeah, I called you out - dogs.

    Oprah, you go girl! And take your friend Gayle with you right to the top of forbes list.

    And kali - why wait?

  8. slayer of dumb twats

    Just because people don’t like someone doesn’t make them racist, you dumb twat. People dislike Donald Trump… Rosie O’Donnell… so stop calling people names and go stick your race card up your ass!

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