Filed under: Paris Hilton
Harvard University’s comedy magazine, The Harvard Lampoon, is performing the ultimate act of satire: honoring The Hottie and the Nottie “star” Paris Hilton with its “Woman of the Year” award. Paris will accept the award and speak in her fake baby voice to the university’s entire undergraduate student body next month.
Satire or not, this woman hardly needs any more recognition. Shame on you, Harvard! Paris is so vacuous, she thinks Delta Airlines is a sorority. Hell, Paris is so vacuous, she thinks Taco Bell is a Mexican phone company. In fact, Paris is SO vacuous, she looks at a can of juice for days because it says “concentrate”…
Oh, this is more fun than Yo Momma jokes! Anyone else?
Paris is so vacuous, she _________.
Posted by Candy ♦ January 13, 2008
At 1:05 pm Vern said:
BAH DUM SHHHHHU!
January 13, 2008
At 1:48 pm lili said:
Paris is so vacuous she is actually going to harvard to pick up a tribute to her stupidity.
Worst still, she might even show it off to her friends back in LA.
January 13, 2008
At 2:15 pm Jane said:
Paris is so vacuous that she thinks that being recognized with this ‘award’ from the Harvard Lampoon, that she is now a legitimate contributing member of society. This diseased, incredibly stupid twat doesn’t even have a clue as to what this even means, which is brilliant. I hope she is humiliated beyond belief, and alas, never heard from again.
Well, in a perfect world anyway.
She will probably attach the award trophy to a necklace and wear it around her neck.
January 13, 2008
At 2:28 pm Morgan said:
Paris is so vacuous, she thinks ‘obtuse’ is only a type of triangle.
January 13, 2008
At 2:39 pm Paula said:
Um,, can you guys please shut up already? Paris hilton is my idol.. i want to be just like her in every way. she’s funny, pretty, tall, nice, and she has her own perfume line. which if you ask me, says she’s accopmlished a lot in her life.
haha
thanks guys.
ok bye.
oh and this is a message for someone special.
Zorro
In
Prague.. #300 something you were so funny
January 13, 2008
At 2:52 pm Javelin said:
… she thinks ’satire’ is a type of evening gown
January 13, 2008
At 3:26 pm Bee Hind said:
Paris is so vacuous, she thinks Johnny Cash is a pay toilet.
January 13, 2008
At 3:52 pm martini lover said:
oh my god, i love this.
-she thinks wal-mart is a place where you buy walls. (for reals)
January 13, 2008
At 3:58 pm moonlight dancer said:
This is too funny.
Paris is so vacuous that she rents out the space between her ears
January 13, 2008
At 4:37 pm Vern said:
Paris is so vacuous-
she thinks “fly paper” is the stuff you make airplanes out of!
January 13, 2008
At 4:48 pm Jenny said:
Paris is so vacuous, upon hearing the news, she said ‘I’m a woman?’
January 13, 2008
At 4:55 pm c’est moi said:
paris is so vacuous, upon hearing the word
vacuous she said,”im not a vacuum cl…oh wait ..
i do suck..never mind”
January 13, 2008
At 5:03 pm Vern said:
Moi,
She sucks in EVERY sense of the word.
January 13, 2008
At 5:26 pm Jane said:
Hahahaha, all of these entries are great!
Oh yeah, Paula, f**k off.
January 13, 2008
At 5:28 pm MsTriste said:
Paris is so vacuous, she would consider it an honor to be nominated for a Darwin Award.
January 13, 2008
At 5:31 pm Ms. Parker said:
Paris Hilton is so vacuous she thinks blowing above .08 on a breathalyser means she won.
January 13, 2008
At 5:43 pm Candy said:
This is why I love you guys. Well, because of your wit AND your good looks.
Thanks for the laughs, Holy Rollers. *And* for the education, Paula — I had no idea being tall was an accomplishment! Huh. I’ll have to add that to my resume, as well.
January 13, 2008
At 6:17 pm Paula said:
Jane.. first off, clearly you have no life. Second of all, y’all think your soooooo cool bashing Paris?? Hah.. y’all have no lives of your own to live, and therefore it makes you feel “awesome”- in every sense of the world to bash someone you don’t know. Give me a break. How lame.
January 13, 2008
At 6:30 pm martini lover said:
paris is so vacuous, she would think paula’s a grammatical genius. in every sense of the world.
January 13, 2008
At 6:31 pm Kate said:
To MsTriste:
Thank you, thank you, thank you!
My sentiments exactly.
Kudos to you for reading such an excellent set of books.
January 13, 2008
At 6:49 pm Paula said:
Ha.. ooops!! spelling mistake,.. I meant to type “in every sense of the word”.. not WORLD. So yah.. haha, thanks though- I did laugh when I read that.
January 13, 2008
At 7:45 pm Jane said:
Hey Paula, no really, f**k off.
Paula is so vacuous, she thinks her attempt of a chivalrous defense of this diseased twat is noble. “Leave Paris alone!!!!
So.
F**king.
Funny.
January 13, 2008
At 8:29 pm Paula said:
Who cares if she sleeps around jane.. why does the girl piss you off so much? I didn’t think it was possible to hate on another human being THAT much. Give it a rest. Oh, and your jokes aren’t funny, they are incredibly lame. Just like yourself.
You
are
a
loser. You thought you were the only one that knew how to type like that I guess, right? You are so done. It’s really disturbing how much you get off making fun of the chick. You don’t know her. Lay off.
January 13, 2008
At 8:35 pm Paula said:
If you don’t want to be the chick- and at the end of the day you don’t agree with the things she does, that’s fine. NO ONE said you had to be her. It’s just incredibly immature and so juvenile to bash someone you don’t even know. Lame, stupid, ignorant, annoying people like yourself. I’m sorry you have no life, and no friends- which is why you spend all of your time hating Paris Hilton. Maybe if you spent some time outside of your computer room- you wouldn’t even notice half the things she does or says. And she wouldn’t annoy you as much.. just a thought. Loser.
January 13, 2008
At 9:45 pm martini lover said:
when did paris hilton start visiting this site?
January 13, 2008
At 9:53 pm Jenn F. said:
Geez, where have I been? I’ve missed all of this? Too funny. These entries are hilarious. I like Morgan’s, Javelin’s, and Bee Hind’s the best.
Jane, don’t bother wasting your time. This girl is obviously pretty young.
January 13, 2008
At 11:13 pm Holy Terror said:
Paula says:It’s just incredibly immature and so juvenile to bash someone you don’t even know. Lame, stupid, ignorant, annoying people like yourself.
————
So how long have you known Jane? Heh
January 13, 2008
At 3:37 am Annie Nonymous said:
I can’t work this into a joke but it seems so approriate:
The Washington Post’s Mensa Invitational once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.
6. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn’t get it.
January 14, 2008
At 4:16 am Vern said:
Annie-
LOVES IT!
January 14, 2008
At 7:11 am Ms. Parker said:
I’m trying to decide if Paula’s trying to be ironic or actually believes anything coming out of her mouth. Before I was going ironic…now I’m sure she’s actually being serious. Which is much much sadder.
I’m sorry but Paris Hilton has opened herself up to ridicule simply by creating her myth of fame without having any actual merits that would warrant her being famous. If perhaps she contributed something other than a stereotype of the utterly classless American to the world then maybe people wouldn’t so throughly enjoy mocking her.
BTW….Paris Hilton is so vacuous that she wondered why her ‘Half Baked’ Ben and Jerry’s was still cold.
January 14, 2008
At 8:09 am MsTriste said:
Ms. Parker - that’s hysterical!
This is why HolyCandy is my first site of the day - the fact that both Candy and (ahem) most of her readers know how to use vacuous in a sentence.
Mwah to all.
January 14, 2008
At 5:17 am Annie Nonymous said:
Miss Vern -
Why thank you kindly. Merci
January 15, 2008