Filed under: Britney Spears
Hollywood Predator is the only magazine devoted to the various predators living in Hollywood. Each issue is jam packed with educational features and stunning photos of common predatory species such as the Dr. Phil Fool, Paparazzi Wolves, and creepy “producers”. An excerpt from the latest issue:
Lurking on the pristine streets of Beverly Hills is the most annoying predator known to celebrities: the paparazzi. They hunt incessantly for lucrative shots, even if it means scaling fences at daycares – or, most recently, following Britney Spears into an ambulance as she suffered a nervous breakdown and recklessly chasing down her two young sons, just so they could capture that “money shot” of their tear-stained faces looking out the car window.
Britney is certainly not the only celebrity to be preyed upon by this Hollywood predator. Fellow target Sean Penn has fought back, both physically and verbally, saying that:
“The [paparazzi] should be put in a cage where you can poke them with a stick for a quarter. But not in a hostile way, just for giggles. They really are on the attack against mankind; it’s a disease. They should be helped somewhere. But I’d still like to poke them with a stick.”
Experts say that while stick-poking is one option for dealing with the intrusive predator, moving out of Los Angeles or getting another job is an even more effective solution.
Posted by 14 ♦ January 7, 2008
At 3:44 am Knox Bronson said:
Wow … bad wolves … poor bunny! Excellent post, 14 & Candy … worth the wait! I’m really liking your collaborations. That last image of the bunny, with the subtle background graphics, is just amazing. It’s almost 4 a.m. Now I can go to sleep. But hope I don’t dream about the bunny.
January 7, 2008
At 4:42 am hollyhotness said:
Britney is doing a good job at attracting paparazzi’s attention.
January 7, 2008
At 5:25 am Vern said:
Hey it’s HARD to be a Pap on the streets!
You can’t blame the Paps-they want to get IT this time. They’re still just devastated they didn’t get a pic of Howeord K(ill) Slime actually INJECTING Anna N. Smith.
They figure if they stick to Brit Brit like chicanery on Dr. Fool they are bound to be there for the ultimate $ shot!
January 7, 2008
At 5:46 am stuck in AL said:
You have hit the nail on the head, again, 14! I still maintain that you are a Goddamn genius!
January 7, 2008
At 6:02 am mellen said:
Awwwe. Cute Bunny.
As far as the poll. I am in the majority. #2. *As of this post, 42%.*
She is a train wreck. Tragic figure (ala Marylin Monroe, etc)
January 7, 2008
At 7:12 am Jessica said:
Dr Fool should be ashamed of himself. Actually, he should have been ashamed of himself many times over by now, but this is a new low. If he was REALLY interested in helping her, he’d do it in private.
Surely, I’m as bad as the next person in terms of wondering what is up with the mindless celebutantes an the like. But there is a point when vacuous bimbotic behavior (Paris) crosses over into real substance abuse and/or mental illness (Lindsey, Brittney, Winehouse). I’m all for poking at the ridiculous, but there does come a time when some people need actual help. No matter what anyone thinks of Brittney, she IS a person and a parent, and she and her children deserve help, privacy, and perhaps a touch of compassion.
January 7, 2008
At 8:15 am Steve said:
Am I first?
Nice work. I was really disappointed in Phil when he chimed in on the spaz bunny Spears. Seems like he is stooping to her level. Does he want the paparazzi after him too? Glad you called him out on it.
January 7, 2008
At 8:59 am midevil said:
I never even knew what Dr. Phil looked like until this sham. What great publicity for him!
January 7, 2008
At 9:00 am midevil said:
…and, love the mag cover!
January 7, 2008
At 9:51 am Jenn F. said:
I like the lips on the bunny.
The paparrazzi are going to continue to act in a vulture-like manner as long as they continue to get paid $10,000 for a single shot of Britney’s bare crotch as she climbs out of a car in an unlady-like way. The magazines are going to continue to pay that as long as the public continues to be interested in seeing it. The people continue to be interested as long as Britney acts like a lunatic. And Britney can’t stop acting like a lunatic. It’s a never-ending battle.
January 7, 2008
At 10:14 am Plobes said:
That bunny is WAY too cute to be Britney Bunny
SUCH A CUTE BUNBUNS!!!!
January 7, 2008
At 10:39 am Doodlewhore.com said:
Aww the little bunbun has a tiny Frapp
January 7, 2008
At 11:23 am Dianne said:
Love the artwork!
I’m of the opinion that Britney could not live without the paps, as witnessed by her constant gas station and Walgreens restroom stops. The little sympathy I had for her was exhausted long ago. She’s just a spoiled, rotten, vacuous hillbilly.
I’n on the fence on Dr. Phil. I do think he’s a publicity whore, but I also believe he visited Britney as a favor to her hillbilly mom.
January 7, 2008
At 11:39 am PoorBritney.com said:
It’s totally her mom as usual, trying to sell her out, publicly. Why not ask Dr. Phil to see her in private, not try to stage an intervention on TV! That’s why Brit is so messed up today. She’s been a pawn since childhood.
PS: I’m soooo posting this photo! Good job!
January 7, 2008
At 1:15 pm Green Is Good said:
At least wolves don’t kill each other for ratings.
January 7, 2008
At 1:50 pm Demon Kitty said:
Dr Phil is just lower than fucking pond scum. He gives medicine a bad name. Is he really a psychiatrist? If so, he has sent the mental health profession back a few hundred years.
Dr. Phil’s attempt to get Britney on the show reminds me of the time they let the filthy rich tour insane asylums so they could look at the “freak show” of all the “crazies”. Fucking asshole Dr. Phi.
January 7, 2008
At 1:51 pm Demon Kitty said:
I forgot to add 14, I love your little bunny, it is soo adorable.
January 7, 2008
At 2:26 pm WebMaster Pete said:
Dr Fool is a fucking creep. I’ve never liked the guy. He should have his ass kicked for this latest bit of creepiness.
January 7, 2008
At 2:47 pm Timea said:
I don’t have understand everything because of my bad english. But very funny and very right,14!
And i hope you had a beautiful sylvester.
Poor Brit. I’am not a fan,but who would not be crazy like Brit,when you’d have such a mother? Look at Britney,think oft Michael Jackson,-it’s the same in a little other way..
Who would not get sick,if everyone just like to be your friend,your mother,your sister,your everything because of your fame..?
Poor Britney,i hate her stupid Mum and the Papparazzis. And nobody can tell me,Federline would’nt thinking of money.. Why we have never see him with his other kids of the other wife,and why are the whole day long the kids by a nanny?
I hope Britney don’t end like Anna Nicole Smith…. 8(
January 7, 2008
At 2:50 pm Timea said:
PS: Oh Sorry,i forgot to write,that this Doctor is the same *idon’tknowaword4this* like the Lynne Spears and Company!
January 7, 2008
At 3:35 pm Elizebeth said:
Your Dr Fool is scary, I would freak out if I saw that in the middle of the night.
But this is all just brilliant. I’ve been waiting for 14 to comment on it all. Thanks for making my Monday!
January 7, 2008
At 4:49 pm Da Bunn’s sister said:
OMG I know that bunny! I posted her on my sister’s myspace on her birthday because her nickname has always been Bunny. Sorry that was really off topic, but anyway, it’s just delightfully adorable, and you gave her lips and a tiny Frapp and made it even better!
I’ve watched those scenes of her surrounded by paps and it’s really, awful and pretty much what you’ve created for your faux magazine. If that were my situation, I’d never leave the house, that’s what assitants are for; but then again, I’m not insane. Poor Brit, yes she goes looking for attention, but then again, she’s a frosted flake! Poor Nut-Nut.
January 7, 2008
At 7:38 pm the.jj said:
Ugh! I don’t know who is worse… Brit-Brit for milking her alleged depression because G-d forbid the public forget about her for ONE MINUTE; her mother for not knowing how to be a mom without milking her spawns for cash; or Dr. Phil, hopping onto the Brit-Brit crazy train.
Poor, little chubby bunny… still managing to hold her Frap in her little furry hands. I don’t have compassion for her; I just don’t. I can’t — if she REALLY hated how she was being treated then she wouldn’t live in L.A. There are ways for even the biggest of celebs to have privacy… and it doesn’t involve waltzing around town without underwear and going to clubs and restaurants and starbux knowing FULL WELL that the paps are out there waiting and then OOPS! just happening to lean over so that everyone can see your ladybits.
I have a small confession to make: Today, I was listening to Gimme More and it’s GOOD! What a dumba**! Why couldn’t she just shut up, grow up, make her music — and live the life she’s been handed on a silver platter. Same goes for her sister — what have these women ever done to deserve this kind of fame and fortune? Neither is particularly talented, or bright, or even good-looking. And yet they just throw it all away…
January 7, 2008
At 9:11 pm PinkIceSprinkles said:
Fame’s a beeyotch.
Tough luck for her.
I’m sure she’ll continue to drag through life at the same pace.
All random Bull at regular intervals to keep us spell bound and captivated.
Good job Britney.
January 7, 2008
At 10:35 pm Lily said:
Wow, 14, much as I love your stuff, and I do, I’m really likin’ your collaborations with Holy Candy. Seems to make both even better, in combination. Wow. Excellent stuff. BTW, for your readers, Dr. Phil has a Ph.D. in psychology but is not a pyschiatrist. Not that it would necessarily be better or worse if he is, but he isn’t. That sort of gets lost in the shuffle. In fact, I think his MO is that he never really practiced counseling, b/c people were too frustrating for him; but went straight into being a legal (as in trial and jury) consultant. That’s how he met Oprah (during the Mad Cow trial.) And hence how we all came to know about him…
January 7, 2008
At 8:21 am Kittenpants said:
Take the bunny and have it spritzing itself with delicious gravy, wearing 2 baked potatoes for shoes and giblet earrings and THEN you have an accurate depiction of Brit-Brit’s relationship with the press.
January 8, 2008
At 11:11 am K Trujillo said:
You made Dr. Phil look like Yubaba in her bird form from Spirited Away. Very scary.
January 8, 2008
At 10:15 pm Ann said:
If Dr. Fool were a real “GOOD” doctor, he would have referred the family to a doctor that isn’t camera hungry. All these people are just stuck-on-stupid.
January 8, 2008
At 7:55 pm busybee said:
I have to say… That Bunny… is so freaking cute.
Poor sad starbucks bunny
January 12, 2008