Filed under: Celebrities
The sexual tension is running high in the Simpson household, as Star magazine claims that former Baptist minister Papa Joe has banned Ashlee’s supposedly bisexual boyfriend Pete Wentz from joining the family at Christmas. A source tells the rag:
“Joe was skeptical about the relationship from the start. There is a rumor that Pete tried to commit suicide, but with the news of his possible bisexuality, Joe blew his top.”
And while Ashlee was “upset,” she agreed to respect her father’s wishes.
That’s right, Papa Joe — you’ve gotta draw a line in the sand! Suicidal = not cool; suicidal and bisexual = unforgivable; incestuous = tons of clean fun. (Hey, you know Papa Joe is just getting rid of the competition. The Simpson household only has room for one man with a questionable amount of hair gel and a penchant for Simpson breasts…)
Posted by Candy ♦ December 5, 2007
At 9:56 pm Zip said:
Papa Joe Simpson…he is such a freaky deaky grifter of a weirdo, but then again, so are his grifting daughters. He is the enabled…and at their ages, they are willful enablers–not that, that freak from Fall-Out Boy is anything to write home about either, but clearly, at this point, these girls are enjoying their father’s seeming attraction to them…and his cock blocking jealousies.
This can only end one way, in a threesome…or a foursome, if Momma Simpson joins in. BTW, both she and Papa Joe seemed really jealous of Nick, Jessica’s ex, if you remember Nick and Jessica’s MTV reality show you know I’m right??? They were cock blocking him in every scene of that show, virtually every chance they got.
December 5, 2007
At 10:03 pm that_girl said:
Grow some damn balls Ashlee! Be a rebel and reject this! Say “Daddy, this isn’t fair. If Pete can’t spend Christmas at our house then I’m spending it at his.” Unfortunately, he’ll probably beat her ass for saying that. He has both his daughters on a string.
December 5, 2007
At 10:20 pm bluehawaii said:
Enmeshed fathers and daughters are a messy lot….like Electra.
There’s usually a murder plot involved. The stuff of Greek tragedies…
December 5, 2007
At 11:08 pm anonymous said:
papa joe is sweet. nothing wrong with marrying your sister and sharing a fliration with your daughters. everyone is west virigina is doing it.
December 5, 2007
At 11:54 pm Javelin said:
ahaha as usual Candy, you hit the nail on the head. Although personally I think Papa Joe should use a different strategy… let them be together, then if they end up married he already has ammo to use in a breakup plot. “are you sure he’s not being distant, ashlee? I mean, it’s just that I always see him with that guy… yeah I know they’re in a band but STILL…didn’t he kiss a guy one time?” damn, it almost makes me feel bad for petey.
December 5, 2007
At 3:56 am Jenn said:
that picture makes me shudder. There is some sketchy stuff going on in the Simpson household.
December 6, 2007
At 5:37 am Jane said:
This twat is twenty-three years old, not
sixteen. Her father/lover/manager needs to back off and let his daughter/lover/meal-ticket
get a life already. Geeez!
December 6, 2007
At 6:30 am Jenn F. said:
Oh my God, he’s looking straight down her top in that photo.
December 6, 2007
At 10:31 am Hannah said:
Pete Wentz needs to call Nick to get the scoop on Papa Joe!!!
December 6, 2007
At 12:10 pm Deezee said:
I always knew that little dick wad was gay!
December 6, 2007
At 1:11 pm martini lover said:
why do we never see mama simpson? doesn’t it bother her that her husband lusts after their daughters?
December 6, 2007
At 1:36 am Holy Terror said:
Pete Wentz just said in some interview, that he wishes he WERE gay, because he likes being part of a minority. One of the stupidest quotes I’ve ever heard. It’s not too difficult, just date men. There you’re gay.
December 8, 2007