Filed under: Pieces of Candy

Holy Candy celebrity and brainstorming partner, Matty

Patrick Dempsey and Andy Samberg do Martha Stewart. No word on whether she smoked their dick in a box. [popbytes]

Quiet Riot singer found dead. He is survived by one of the best head-banging songs ever, “Cum on Feel the Noize.” [Celebrity Smack]

In a shocking turn for a lad mag, GQ wants men view Rihanna not so much as a successful artist, but rather as a “naughty girl in need of a spanking.” Oh, how far us women have come! [POTP]

Pete Wentz defends Ashlee Simpson against fun-making heavy metal band, threatens to poke them to death with his eyeliner. [Gabby Babble]

In case you’ve been wondering what Steven Segal’s been up to lately, he’s been drinking sheep soup in Kalmykia. But who hasn’t been, really? [Ayyyy!]

Mmmbop explosion: The Hansons are taking over the world. [Celebrity Baby Scoop]