Filed under: Pieces of Candy

National Enquirer claims Rachael Ray kicked out her husband. So she’ll finally have more than 30 minutes to spend on her meals. [popbytes]

Lance Bass once got married for the free drinks. Which is a more viable reason than most Hollywood marriages. [Celebrity Smack]

Heather Mills continues her self-pity media tour. Likely not the life Paul imagined when he first sang, “When I’m Sixty-Four.” [Gabby Babble]

Oprah cuts Hilary Swank’s hair. Hey, I’m just glad Oprah’s moonlighting to finally make a much-needed extra buck. [POTP]

Britney Spears tops the charts. In related news, Chris Crocker spotted taking out fifth mortgage on his grandparents’ house. [GirlsTalkinSmack]

Heidi Klum is one scary pussy. [Ayyyy!]

Duane “Dog” Chapman is sorry he’s been caught for making racial slur. [CelebWarship]

Christina Aguilera wears lots of makeup, shows lots of cleavage for Halloween. Why, I barely recognized her! *AHEM* [DailyStab]

Stephen Colbert denied spot on the South Carolina Democratic Party’s presidential primary ballot. Because the state prefers representatives who provide rambling answers to geography questions. “I personally believe…” [E! Online]