Filed under: Who Did It Better

Who did it better: DUI Mugshot

While Paris Hilton gets points for preparation, Nick Nolte wisely recognized that the mugshot is an opportunity to let the cameras capture your natural beauty.

Who Did It Better: Unwanted Baby Announcement

Paris Hilton did a half-decent job of exploiting Christina Aguilera’s unconfirmed pregnancy for her own publicity purposes when she “congratulated” Christina at the VMAs; however, Dayanara Torres knocked it out of the park when she took it upon herself to “confirm” Jennifer Lopez’s pregnancy to the media, thereby sticking it to her ex-hubby Marc Anthony, who left her for the mommy-to-be. Well-done, Dayanara!

Who did it better: Making Over-35 Actresses Appear Pathetic

Sure, the Daily Mail really makes you pity Renee Zellweger with lines such as, “She’s nearing 40, desperate to start a family — and flirting wildly with Paul McCartney. But Renee Zellweger’s rush to find a husband has put her on collision course with a dangerous rival…” And OK! does a stellar job of minimizing Jennifer Aniston’s success and beauty with a cover focusing on what really counts: that she doesn’t — GASP! — have a man. And she’s 38!  Just dig her grave now.

A tough race, to be sure. However, Holy Candy’s going to go out on a limb and name Renee and Jen the winners in this one. Because while the editors were creating these lovely articles, Renee and Jen were somewhere counting their millions (I know I would be) — and probably enjoying more sex than the editors could ever hope to have.