Filed under: Celebrities
Hey, ladies (and men)! Do you have a significant other heading off to rehab or a nightclub frequented by Lindsay Lohan — and are afraid s/he will fall under the spell of the Firecrotch, like so many other attached people have been known to do?
Well, worry no more!
For a limited time only, Holy Candy is offering the chance to buy protection from the sex-thirsty leech with the all-new REPEL: Firecrotch Repellent Spray™! The Shirley Temple-scented spray is infused with the ingredient determined to be the most offensive to the Firecrotch: a non-alcoholic beverage. Sure to repel even the most insecure and aggressive of Firecrotches — and, as a bonus, her cougar of a mother, too!
100% effective — guaranteed or your money back (to help cover the cost of the divorce proceedings).
Don’t miss out on this limited-time offer. Call 1-800-REPEL-RED to buy your Firecrotch Repellent AND save your marriage now! Brandon Davis* is standing by to take your call.
*Holy Candy is an equal opportunity employer. The mentally challenged, the excessively oily, the delusionally cocky, you name it…
Posted by Candy ♦ September 25, 2007
At 3:52 am Jenn said:
You know she is going to ‘huff’ the stuff
September 25, 2007
At 6:47 am screaminmeammie said:
Will it work on Parisite or Miss Piggy Spears or Kim Badonkadonk? That would be terrific. Did I mention Sienna STD?
September 25, 2007
At 9:17 am jenner said:
LOL Jenn
Can this also be used to eradicate her career? ie just spray it and she’ll go away forever? Bcs if so, COUNT ME IN. I’ll email my cc #….
September 25, 2007
At 12:38 pm martini lover said:
There is a big market for this.
September 25, 2007