Filed under: Paris Hilton, Paris Hilton Art
When I think of Paris Hilton in jail, this is the image that comes to mind. According to The Sun, the female inmates at the Century Regional Detention Facility include “violent robbers, hookers, junkies and a mob of butch lesbians who control by force”. Perhaps I’ve watched too many cheesy women’s prison films, but wouldn’t it be great for Hilton’s “career” if she starred in a remake of Caged Heat or The Big Bird Cage when (or if) she finishes her prison term? This concludes my Paris Hilton Celebration Week…for now. Medium: ink on paper, digital color.
Posted by admin ♦ May 15, 2007
At 2:47 am alisa said:
Wonderful as always. My only opinion, should have made her roots more prominent and taken away all makeup. She won’t be allowed any makeup or hair dye during her sentence.
May 15, 2007
At 5:43 am midevil said:
Brilliant, but you already knew that!
May 15, 2007
At 6:27 am Em said:
This is wicked! love this site, it is so hilarious - thanks 14!
May 15, 2007
At 7:42 am Morrigan said:
cant…stop…laughing!
Thank you, 14…it’s much needed!
May 15, 2007
At 7:50 am Bloody Whore said:
She needs to be shanked!!!
May 15, 2007
At 8:07 am 14 fan said:
Very nice work, but you may want to do an update if Drudge is right. An ink of Paris in leg irons whacking weeds, with a tobacco chewing shotgun toting Strother Martin looking on.
When I heard Sheriff Joe Arpaio had a fair chance to get hold of that b!@#h, I said to myself: God, Jove, Thor, Buddha, Vishnu, please please please make it so!
May 15, 2007
At 8:12 am Demon Kitty said:
God, I fucking loved Caged Heat man!!!!! Brigit Nielson as a lesbian warden, fucking hell that was awesome!!!! Don’t forget “Women in Cages” with Pam Grier as a lesbian warden!!!! I agree 14, Tonya Harding should be in the cell with her. Tonya Harding is looking pretty scary these days!!!! God, I can’t stop laughing because “Daddy” is what I call unsuspecting dykes when I demand they spank me! LOL!!! Just joking, not really! God I am laughing. Big Daddy looks like a cross between a troll and Poppey the Sailor Man. I heard Paris is taking self defense classes to prepare her for prison fights. “A Mob of Butch Lesbians who control by force”. Dear God, I hope she starts wearing underpants after she gets out of prison - can you imagine the shape her cooter is gonna be in after these bitches get done with it????????????????? EEEEEEwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
May 15, 2007
Lisa
At 8:26 am Lisa said:
Ugh! Leave the girl alone already. Yeah she needs to do her time but she is human.
May 15, 2007
At 8:56 am Cyclops Kitten Natividad said:
Love it, 14! I hope Pam Grier is in your movie somewhere…and Sid Haig. Not enough Sid Haig in movies lately.
This is a thing of beauty…zombies in prison! Oh hells yeah.
May 15, 2007
At 9:24 am Meg said:
14, once again you nailed it! Congrats. Keep up the awesome work, you’re my fav artist.
May 15, 2007
At 9:28 am theresa said:
Absolutely beautiful.
May 15, 2007
Anonymous
At 9:30 am Anonymous said:
I agree with UGH! Enough already! 14, please no more………..
May 15, 2007
14
At 10:02 am 14 said:
Ah ha haaaaaa! Okay, no more Paris Hilton, I agree. I said I would draw her for a week and I kept my word. Now I need bed rest to get over the trauma.
Gallery of the Absurd is officially over Paris Hilton.
xoxo
14
May 15, 2007
At 10:41 am Jenn F. said:
Oh my God that is hilarious… those are some nasty looking cellmates.
Demon Kitty, I burst out laughing out loud when I read that you wrote “cooter”.
You know, the one thing that always puts a bit of a damper on the fun is when people seem to feel the need to point out what they think 14 “should” have done to her art… such as making the roots more prominent, leaving off the make-up, etc. What the fuck?! Can we not just enjoy what 14 produced however she chose to do it? Why pick apart and point out what tiny ways you feel it is lacking?
May 15, 2007
At 11:33 am Mr. Besilly said:
Paris Hilton’s jail house of horrors. Her new friends will not fare as well in the tabloids joining Paris on her late night romps. Brilliantly done with that wonky eye in plain view.
May 15, 2007
At 12:53 pm Bea said:
No! Pleeeeassse, 14. Don’t close the book on Parisite permanently! See, there are still animals for you to do. If you need a break, okay. I can live with that. But “officially over Paris Hilton”?? How can you illustrate celebrity mythology without Paris Hilton? That would be like British invasion night on American Idol, where they sang everything but the Beatles (fucking Michael Jackson). What’s next, no more Tom Cruise? I need to know that someday I will once again laugh my ass off at the sight of her lazy eye and uncircumsized penis nose.
May 15, 2007
At 2:13 pm Dirty Whore said:
once again….perfect!
xoxo
May 15, 2007
Damien
At 2:43 pm Damien said:
Someone pinch me i can’t beleive it.
I guess she’ll be some chicks bottom bunk ho, you know gay for the stay. I wonder what shes worth in terms of cigarettes.
May 15, 2007
At 3:39 pm andrea said:
I feel just like Damien, Pinch me.
It’s almost too good to be true. The judge who sentenced her, the honorable Michael T. Sauer, who was appointed by non-other than Ronald Regan, has done us some real good as a society. Can it be true?
The conservatives are doing us right for a change? Not that ANY thinking person in that particular position of power would not do the same, be he (or she) Democrat, Republican, or other.
The time for celebrities to be treated differently than everyone else when they have done something blatantly reckless and obviously with not a care that they may actually have to pay some consequences needs to be over already. She’s stupid, vapid, self-absorbed, and has a grossly off-kilter sense of entitlement. No surprise there. Hurray for the justice system. All her little fans who idolize her can finally learn something practical. Obey the law!! Or, like Jim Carrey said as his lawyer-character in “Liar Liar”, “STOP BREAKIN’ THE LAW, ASSHOLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
Peace,
May 15, 2007
At 3:55 pm Bubbles53 said:
Ahhhh, SHIT!!!
Brava, 14! Brava!
*dies laughing*
May 15, 2007
At 5:40 am Demon Kitty said:
i fear this picture my make me go back to dick …..
god those women….ew!!!!!
May 16, 2007
At 10:26 am Liz said:
LOVE IT!!!! Please, please keep the jail bird Paris stuff coming. This is a golden opportunity for we Paris Ho-bag haters. You know she is shitting herself and crying all the time for Mommy and Daddy to buy her out of this one. I love her “friend” Gummi Bear Davis giving us his thought provoking defense. WHAT RETARDS! Do these people complete elementary school?
http://www.tmz.com/2007/05/10/gummi-weighs-in-on-paris-its-absolutely-retarded/#comments
May 16, 2007
At 10:23 pm coffeegod said:
I am betting Parasite’s lawyer is wishing he had just kept his letter writing to himself right about now.
14 rules!
May 16, 2007
At 1:04 am Demon Kitty said:
I knew that cunt wouldn’t have to serve her full sentence.
May 17, 2007
Celtiberian
At 3:48 am Celtiberian said:
Paris Hilton, a translucent depiction of the mental and moral degradation today’s society suffers from.
May 17, 2007
At 6:54 am DonnaJEM said:
Hehehe. It would be nice to think Par-ass would be in the general population of the jail, and have these skanks hitting on her all day and night. Fighting over who’s beotch she gets to be.
But, alas, she will get to spend her 23 days in the “Hilton-esk” side. 12, two-person cells reserved for police officers, celebrities and other high profile jail birds. She still gets special treatment, I guess ’cause she so fragile and all.
May 17, 2007
At 8:12 am i don’t like you in any way said:
I love that you inclduded Paris’ man-hands. Very subtle.
May 17, 2007
At 1:31 pm Speedmonkey.net said:
Very Funny. Maybe they can re-shoot OZ? Special treatment or not, she’s going to hate it…but her mother is really the one who should go to jail.
May 17, 2007
At 3:13 pm sunny said:
The “M” in Meat is just…
*shudder*
Awesome, 14.
May 17, 2007
At 6:19 pm Christie_Love said:
I doubt she’ll be allowed to wear her beloved blue contacts in prison, so perhaps you should have drawn her with her natural brown eyes?
May 17, 2007
At 7:20 pm Jenn F. said:
You know the one that cracks me up the most? Far left. She’s got those Michael-Jackson-in-the-Thriller-video eyes. And a pin-headed mullet! Love it!
May 17, 2007
At 12:08 am UndecidedPerfect said:
Paris Hilton has nothing to worry about, shes not going to some highly intense worry about your life and your cooter prison. Ive worked within the federal “pound me in the ass prison” where they send the worst of the worst and she’s not going to any prison remotely close to that caliber
On top of that, due to over crowding and the American judicial system she will be out in less than 15 days, big fucking deal -I’ve had PMS that’s lasted longer than that. So she may have to pick some weeds, pound some liscence plates Jesus H Christ, I feel sorry for the staff of the prison for having to deal with her whinny diva behavior and celebrity status, you better believe they’re going to be working 100x harder when she enters the building.
Im sorry but I am so overy Paris and her bitching over her sentence. Celebrities should not be immune to the consequences of their actions I dont care how many movies or hotels theyve made. There are worse conditions in the world to live in than 3 square meals a day and cable TV.
May 18, 2007
At 5:18 am Jim Choma said:
It’s probably just me, but the horrid, leering inmate to Wonkie’s right reminds me of a post-car-bashing-headshaved-Britney.
A reduction to 23 days in the cushy section of the clink steams my blood.
I just want to thank you again, 14, for putting an accurate face on mental deficients like Paris Hilton in our celebrity obsessed society.
May 18, 2007
At 2:07 pm wendy said:
You’re such a talented artist, but please no more bloody paris hilton, you’re getting fixated now and it’s getting too repetitious.
May 18, 2007
14
At 4:09 pm 14 said:
wendy,
I can assure you that I’m not and never have been
fixated on Paris Hilton. I vowed to draw her for a week and kept my word. I am however, currently fixated on Gary Oldman for some reason. Thanks for the comment though.
xoxo
14
May 18, 2007
AM
At 8:54 am AM said:
I just love your site. The Paris Hilton jail thing is hysterical.
May 21, 2007
Anonymous
At 2:28 pm Anonymous said:
Shouldn’t it be Schadenfreude?
May 21, 2007
At 9:12 pm theidlereceptionist said:
holy shitballs, TONYA HARDING?!?!?!?!?
I HELLA HEART YOU, 14!
May 21, 2007
At 8:57 am Viper Tetsu said:
DK, I just want to run around shouting, “Cooter! Cooter!” like that old man about to be stoned to death in LIFE OF BRIAN shouting, “Jehovah! Jehovah!” Thank you for that special verbal earworm.
And Dear 14, I’m certain that CAGED MEAT’s cast will include Linda Blair as the plucky chipmunk-cheeked cellmate, Sybil Danning as the bad-assed cellblock bully, and Mary Woronov as the evil lesbian prison warden. Nobody opens up a can of whoop-ass on sniveling b-grade starlets like Woronov…
Oh, did I mention that this is frickin’ hysterical? Well, it’s hysterical. Period.
May 24, 2007
At 9:10 am Tee said:
“staring Tonya Harding..introducing Bust Yo Face” LMFAO! Maybe they can make the other eye match the wonky one, and hopefully break her nose so she will finally fix that mess.
Anyway, I LOVE your work, but I’m surprised you didn’t capitalize on Paris’ Bible toting. It would have been hilarious to see a painting of it maybe burning a hole through her arm as she paraded it around (church marm clothes and all) in a futile effort to make herself look like a saint.
I’m shocked she didn’t burst into flames.
: )
May 29, 2007
At 7:46 pm moonmaid said:
OMG, I remember that cheesy movie Caged Heat from college, when we all went drunk and laughed at it! You have updated it beautifully. The copy from the Sun (that bastion of cheese itself) is priceless - “a mob of butch lesbians who control by force” - lol.
This pinhead igoramus deserves all the scorn heaped upon her. I hope she finds a thimble of humility after hanging out in her new digs.
June 6, 2007
At 12:50 am chindonation said:
schadenfreude, not schadenfreuNde. otherwise, l always enjoyed coming back here to view your work!
June 7, 2007
14
At 1:32 pm 14 said:
shcandenfruende
shuandenfrined
schauszenpepper
schnauzer
14
June 7, 2007