Filed under: Paris Hilton, Paris Hilton Art
We’ve obtained the exclusive image of the Simple Life Goes To Camp promo poster before it was heavily altered in Photoshop. According to a source, problems plagued the set. Paris Hilton kept flashing her privates because she thought the film crew was the paparazzi. Originally, Brandon Greasy Bear Davis was hired to carry the boat over the water, but a pack of orphaned bear cubs kept following him and he had to be removed from the photo. Tinkerbell threw herself overboard in a final attempt to escape from Paris’s clutches. Paris didn’t notice her dog was missing until several days later. Medium: ink on paper, digital color. Yes, there’s an uncensored version of this illustration and it’s painted in horrifying detail.
Photo retouchers had to smooth over Nicole Richie’s gaunt face and worked long hours fixing Paris Hilton’s “wonky eye“
Brandon Davis sweated profusely during the photoshoot giving him a slippery grasp. Thinking Brandon was their long lost mother, hungry bear cub orphans followed and suckled at him as he carried the boat through the water. The EPA had to be called because a strange oil slick was found in the lake after Mr. Davis emerged from the water.
Posted by admin ♦ April 5, 2007
At 10:33 am thatgirlshines said:
you, my dear, are a FUKN genius! i don’t paris has ever looked this god before… and i love how you captured Nicole’s near death look and knobby joints. genius!
April 5, 2007
At 10:39 am Tim Chase said:
oh man this is hilarious! valtrex– you know the princess of media has got herpes, there’s no doubt. i work for NBC, and everyone should totally check out Triumph the Insult Dog rag on Paris at http://video.dotcomedy.com/player/?id=85232 (he totally rags on Carrot Top, DiCaprio, etc). Loads of fun, and if you’re lucky he just might give you a pooper mustache!
April 5, 2007
At 10:43 am nicki said:
wow, i really needed to laugh hard today, i feel so much better. thank you…thank you..
ps- the crabs scurrying from (or is it away?) from paris’ vag, genius… bravo!
April 5, 2007
Anonymous
At 10:45 am Anonymous said:
you, madam, are a genius! keep up the good work. those horrid excuses for human beings need to be taken down. you’ve nailed paris’ wonky eye and goon nose. love it!
April 5, 2007
At 10:45 am Knox Bronson said:
Please, 14, you are KILLING me.
Amazing!
April 5, 2007
At 11:19 am Pablo Vazquez said:
Great-one, valtrex!! haha
April 5, 2007
wow
At 11:43 am wow said:
brilliant
April 5, 2007
At 12:19 pm Frank Furtive said:
The sites you linked to say that her droopy lid is due to damage that occurred during plastic surgery. Poor girl! What a shallow life. Mine is no great shakes, but I certainly wouldn’t trade places.
April 5, 2007
At 12:44 pm Chansmom said:
*Snort!* That is awesome!!!!!!!!!!! I need to calm down from laughing! Thanks for the big smile.
April 5, 2007
At 1:45 pm Shalom Raviv (Kai) said:
Ah! The penis nose! The appealing fuzzy thing Nicole is holding! The crabs! The nipples! The armpits! The cubs! The nearly vertical eye! Huge toes! Blessedly obscured “special spot”! You have nearly rendered me speechless! But why oh why does Nicole have to be grouped with such unpleasant people? And that skeleton, too? Please someone put it back in a science classroom. Thanks.
April 5, 2007
At 1:52 pm Jackie said:
This is great! Your hilarious!!
April 5, 2007
At 1:59 pm Wes said:
Welcome back 14. Great stuff!
April 5, 2007
At 2:14 pm Janina said:
Brilliant. Absolutely Brilliant.
April 5, 2007
At 2:18 pm CreesDahl said:
Oh My Goodness. That is hilarious!
April 5, 2007
At 2:32 pm Bohemian Chick said:
14 keep carrying on in the grand satirial tradition of Johnathan Swift and of course MAD MAGAZINE!!!
You funny heffa, are you Mort Druckers (MM’s top cover artist) long lost granddaughter?
The cubs sucking the tit is beyond funny.
April 5, 2007
At 2:40 pm LegalEagle said:
Brilliant!! Just Brilliant!!
April 5, 2007
At 2:47 pm nicole said:
this is the most awesome thing ever. you are a god among men.
April 5, 2007
14
At 2:52 pm 14 said:
thank you!! It made me laugh while I sketched it, so I’m glad the laughter passed on to you.
Oh and yes, Mort Drucker is my Art God. Drew Friedman too.
xoxo
14
April 5, 2007
Barbs
At 3:03 pm Barbs said:
Long-time lurker, 1st-time commenter. 14, I am a huge admirer of your work, but this is an honest-to-God masterpiece. The LV junkyard bag! Nicole’s yellow eyes! Paris’s waxing sores! You see all. And your Greasy Bear is beginning to look more like Brandon Davis than actual photos of Brandon Davis look like Brandon Davis. The soggy armpits and sad moobs are too, too perfect.
I salute your genius. Incidentally, I also adore Mort Drucker. If MAD was still at its full 80s satirical strength, you’d be its art director. If you felt like it. You rule, this blog rules; thank you for making the internet yet more wonderful by the post. xxxB
April 5, 2007
At 3:16 pm Jen said:
OH MY GOD!!!
*dies laughing*
April 5, 2007
Anonymous
At 3:42 pm Anonymous said:
What can I say that hasn’t been said? Masterpiece, Genius…
Nice product placement of the Urban Satchel.
April 5, 2007
ally oop
At 3:44 pm ally oop said:
love love LOVE it ! keep up the good work!!
April 5, 2007
At 4:13 pm Demon Kitty said:
You are a genius 14! A fucking genius! You capture everything about them. This portrait is so true! Hopefully one day they will see it. I am never going to stop saying this, “Paris Hilton’s cooter is the bogeyman! It never goes away. It always threatens to pop out and scare the shit out of us!” I love how her birth canal is a big black hole. I am surprised that it is not trapping matter, with the exceptions of the crabs. Now I am going to puke!
April 5, 2007
At 4:22 pm Nina Alvarez said:
FINALLY!!
I’ve been waiting for this fix!
Genius!
April 5, 2007
At 5:08 pm krissypoo said:
You are profoundly talented. I am in awe. Everything you create is pure magic. The botany paintings are exquisite.
April 5, 2007
At 6:29 pm Fingerella said:
Lol. Hilarious. Love the Paris Hilton Eyes
April 5, 2007
At 6:49 pm Brangie Rules said:
This is so amazing. You are coming into your own and coming very close to capturing the true sleazy essence of Parasite Hilton. That picture above is how I actually see them if you really, truly look and truly see them. hehe …
Congratulations I would so buy a print of this and the “3 disgraces” … you are suberb my dear … God Bless and hope to see alot more of your genius cause you are a genius ….!!!!
April 5, 2007
At 6:50 pm dave said:
14 14 14, I love how you can paint the most beautiful delicate flowers one day and then paint Paris Hilton’s diseased crotch the next. You are an American treasure.
April 5, 2007
At 6:54 pm Taki Kokiku said:
LMAOOOOOOOO That’s hilarious!!! I know you have a life but I really wish you could update this site more often,your work is brilliant and I couldn’t stop laughing for about an hour after I saw that picture!
10/10
April 5, 2007
At 7:22 pm Tom said:
I have enjoyed your work since you have been blogging but this, THIS is brilliant! It is pure genius. At last Paris and Nicole have something to be proud of… the inspiration they have provided to create this masterpiece!!!
April 5, 2007
At 7:37 pm Jason said:
Yep, you made me do a nice big spit-take all over my shiney iMac again. You ROCK! This is beyond fab/disgusting. The detail. The horror. The suckling cubs on Greasy Bear’s fecund teats was a particularly brilliant touch. Where can I see the uncensored version?
April 5, 2007
At 8:02 pm jerkygirl said:
Brandon. . .Davis. . .breastfeeding. . .bear cub. . .!!!!!! When you’re done calling the EPA, call the ASPCA!!! Oh my heavenly stars this is the BEST one yet there is so much funny here I don’t. . .think. . .my. . .heart. . .can. . .glagh!!! Aack!!! *dies laughing*
April 5, 2007
At 8:04 pm Princess said:
OMFG!!!!!!!!! I totally love this! LOLLLLLLLLLLLLL
April 5, 2007
At 8:17 pm melk said:
love it! i’ll pass your link to all my friends!
April 5, 2007
At 9:12 pm kaiserin said:
14, you are absolutely AMAZING! I swear, I cannot look at Parasite Herpes without seeing her exactly as you portray her…you have an uncanny gift to capture the true ugliness of these celebutard whores. Thank you for sharing your talent with us, I hope that you make it HUGE, you truly deserve it because you have wonderful, amazing, outstanding, awe-inspiring talent. Please, please, PLEASE keep up the great work, and may I respectfully request more Shitney pics? She, Parasite, and Hohan are your best parodies because you truly capture the rotten, ugly, corrupt, greedy souls that they possess. You should be declared a national treasure…really. You rock my socks!
April 5, 2007
At 9:15 pm kaiserin said:
Oh my GOD, I just noticed your Vuitton trash bag in the pic….BRILLIANT! The more you look, the more details you see. Amazing, you are truly amazing! Please keep it up, we want more!
April 5, 2007
Rita
At 11:23 pm Rita said:
Genius! You should totally be the creative executive in chef for whoever is doing the advertising for the show. This is such a beautiful piece of art that portraits them so well. Love it!
April 5, 2007
Julie
At 11:56 pm Julie said:
OMG! Best one yet!
April 5, 2007
At 12:35 am Pikachelsea said:
This is one of the single most fantastic things I have ever seen. omfg. Paris’s “face” just made me die laughing. I will love you forever, 14.
April 6, 2007
At 12:55 am tom said:
Brilliant. That Paris Hilton face is going to haunt me forever. You are soo good.
April 6, 2007
At 6:31 am Candice said:
Some people have The Mona Lisa. Some people have Water Lillies. I have this.
Thank you, 14.
April 6, 2007
At 6:53 am jake said:
A masterpiece!! This should be on billboards all along Sunset!!!
April 6, 2007
At 7:08 am weffie said:
Oh, thank you!
April 6, 2007
At 8:07 am Becca said:
Oh! Paris’s face looks like a gob of dough after it’s been punched in! This is SO funny!XD
You are a true, if not always nice genius, 14 and I am learning from you as well as your stellar art talents! (Thumbs Up!)
April 6, 2007
At 8:56 am WTF said:
Any picture with Greasy Bear is a great picture!!!
April 6, 2007
At 11:51 am Adam Smith said:
Who actually likes Paris Hilton?
Everyday,I look through the comments sections on blogs like this, all over the
Interweb and it appears that she is completely,universally, reviled.
You’d think she ate babies in between wiping out endangered species,or something. If you lined up Pol Pot,Ted Bundy,George Bush and Miss Hilton, and left it to a public vote over who was catapulted into a huge vat full of Sulphuric acid and radioactive waste, inhabited by genetically engineered mutant killer cockroaches, poor Paris would always draw the short straw.
Imagine how she feels in the morning, (well afternoon,she hasn’t seen the morning since she was twelve),knowing that millions of people Worldwide have done their best to denigrate her person and character.
The internet must be a nightmare for her, like being the least popular kid in school,knowing that all the neighbouring school’s all hate you too.
She probably glumly eat’s her single grape, that will sustain her until the cycle of binging and puking begins, cries a little, then put’s on her game-face and says “fuck you all”.
Don’t get me wrong,I don’t luurve her or anything.On this blog I descibed her as a “nauseating little bobble head with the erotic appeal of a moose drowning in a tarpit”.
On another I wrote, that while I generally agreed with the feminist position that violence against women is wrong and enforces patriarchy, in her case I could make an exception.Namely,”whacking her stupid twatty face with a large
frying pan-repeatedly”,(it looks like 14 beat me to it on that one).
My worst offence against her was describing her on another blog as a
“Rich Man’s spunk-bucket”.
Actually, I felt quite bad about that one, it still got posted all the same. I sat there laughing at my own cruel wit while feeling like a real bastard for writing that about anybody.
The fact that I have repeated these slanders means that I really could’nt give an armadillo’s cock about her,the majority of people appear to feel the same way. When viewed from that perspective, is there any real reason for her to be a more noble and better person?
She makes millions by acting like a special needs sadcase combined with a whingeing spoilt brat.
So much money,that her sofa probably contains at least $200,000 in spare change, at any one time. There are probably fistfights between the maids over who gets to clean the living room, and win the spare change jackpot.
While we’re sitting here yapping like Howler Monkeys about what a completely idiotic diddle brain she is,she’s becoming more famous, more talked about and more obscenely rich.Paris does’nt care about what us poverty stricken jizzwads think anyway.She gazes out of the tinted windows of her two hundred and fifty grand Bentley, driving by, thinking, “Losers.Your slack jawed watching of my mirthless antics paid for this.”
The fucking mad bitch.
April 6, 2007
Anonymous
At 12:14 pm Anonymous said:
I wrote all that stuff about Paris.
But I think Lindsay Lohan summed her up more succinctly and eloquently than even I could.
Go here:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=Y2Oy8QOoIvA
After that I’m beginning to quite like that girl.
April 6, 2007
At 1:09 pm Bohemian Chick said:
“14 keep carrying on in the grand satirial tradition of Johnathan Swift and of course MAD MAGAZINE!!!
You funny heffa, are you Mort Druckers (MM’s top cover artist) long lost granddaughter?
The cubs sucking the tit is beyond funny.
Posted by: Bohemian Chick | April 05, 2007 at 02:32 PM ”
“thank you!! It made me laugh while I sketched it, so I’m glad the laughter passed on to you.
Oh and yes, Mort Drucker is my Art God. Drew Friedman too.
xoxo
14
Posted by: 14 | April 05, 2007 at 02:52 PM ”
Dear 14 aka “Goddess of Satircal Cartoons” (my original quote thankyouverymuch!) yes I can see the Drew Friedman influence in your exquiste perverse details, that’s why this piece is gonna bring you superstardom & a gazillion bucks!
Next, do a unbeweaveable Beyonce and Jay Z cartoon!
April 6, 2007
At 4:07 pm Elizebeth said:
The cubs suckling at Brandon Davis is pure genious!
I love me some 14!
April 6, 2007
Anonymous
At 5:12 pm Anonymous said:
There are some things in life which are just offensive.
Things like, war crimes;increasing economic inequality;greater military expenditure;Fox News and all the unreconstructed Nazis that appear on it;every project that P-diddy is even remotely involved in; woefully unfunny “films” like “Epic Movie”; mobile phones, that are more like mission control centres than phones; mobile phones in general; that Louis Vuitton bag,tons of vile dispiriting stuff that just saps the will to live, this list could go on for a very long time…
All in all,taken as whole, none of these things are as offensive or crush my belief in humanity more effectively than Brandon Davis’ Face, Brandon Davis’ voice,Brandon Davis’ walk, Brandon Davis’ clothes,Brandon Davis’ existence and how he came about, Brandon Davis as a concept (fucking why?), just Brandon Davis - and his wanker brother.
If you have’nt guessed yet,I really don’t like him. He’s evolution’s biggest,most terrible mistake,even worse than “Saved By The Bell’s ” writing team.
If I was’nt convinced,beyond a shadow of
a doubt,that Paris Hilton was infact the Antichrist,that smirking buffoon would be next in line as chief suspect for everything bad in the world.
This would include things that happened even before he was born.
Imagine a cross between a Dead Elvis impersonator, David Guest and a spit roasted pig, and you still won’t even come close to this foul piece of wasted sexual effluvia. He’s like unfunny Italian American wannabe, Andrew Dice Clay, covered in the slightly watery spunk of a thousand oil executives.
An army of mentally challenged Gibbons work round the clock, to provide him with the “comic” material, that guffs from his stupid fucking face, which in his warped miguided mind appear to be witty bon-mots along the lines of Oscar Wilde.
When he did his infamous Firecrotch skit, you could see that in Brandon world he was punching it out like Steve Martin, Robin Williams and Richard Pryor at their peak. Instead, to all sane people, he just looked like a Coked up bully. Why somebody did’nt just run over and kick him hard in the balls, then continue by giving him a thorough beating, as he rolled around on the floor,is a mystery to me.
If there was a place called Stupid Prick-Land, his worthless visage would be on every piece of currency there.
He’d also be King, Prime Minister, President, and Chief commander of all their forces. The population would consist entirely of pneumatic pornstars;Hefner rejects who could’nt get into that inner circle jerk and numerous grades of hooker. Once he ran out of money ,to pay for sexual services,he would be deposed with an unceremonious guillotining to round off the festivities.
The Crudsack.
Comparing him to a bear is just unfair to bears. Imagining him being savaged by bears is just harmless fun.
All in all, he’s just wrong.
April 6, 2007
At 5:28 pm deanna said:
Shouldn’t Paris have had plastic surgery on those toes as of recent? My word her feet are manlike; reminds of the old time tranny hookers that use to wear down the sidewalks in their ill-fitted stilletos,ragged red toe nails, corns and all. The male supermodel with the highly sought after highly defined euroslavic cheek bones are priceless. Is that halle B’s man? Did you really HAVE to add the hairy armpits? For the love of pubic lice and super strength valtrex.
April 6, 2007
At 6:47 pm Adam Smith said:
Not much to say about Nicole.Other than the fact she’s the only ex heroin addict that actually looks worse after giving up.
The poor thing.
What was the stuff she took cut with?
Full fat cream?
April 6, 2007
At 7:39 pm Demon Kitty said:
If you are reading this Paris,
You have already slandered yourself in more ways than one. This image merely reflects the way you have lived and presented yourself in the public eye. We’ve seen your dripping cooter with its herpes lesions way too often. We’ve seen your tits. We’ve seen you sucking that nasty guy’s cock and fucking him. We’ve seen you topless kissing “Eggplant dyke ass”. We’ve seen your abortion records. We’ve seen your herpes prescription. The firecrotch ordeal. The video of you saying the “N” word and other racial epithets. We’ve seen pictures of you scratching your crotch. Was it the herpes that was itching or the crabs? We’ve seen you smoking dope. That is not even all of it. We’ve even seen your mother’s tits. That picture of you on your stomach with your legs spread, finger pulling the thong aside to show your anus to the camera is forever tattooed on my brain Paris. You filmed yourself saying” I take it up the butt for coke.” Regardless of how many high powered, high paid goons you call to arms, this will never be reversed. Embrace it Paris, embrace it! Fuck the lawsuits Paris, to hell with the lawyers! If you really want to redeem yourself, start making homemade porn flicks and sell them. Let Larry Flynt guide your career! That scene of you blowing that guy in the House of Wax was oscar material. It was soooo real!!! This is where your talent lies. We all know that you are a fucking skank whore. Stop trying to convince us you are not! Be honest with the public and cut the crap. We will respect you so much more. Everyone knows there is only one place for someone like you and that is the porn industry. You can come by the attention and fame honestly. We know you can’t sing and act. Your crotch always seems to find itself in front of a paparazzo’s camera. Your porn movies could also be on every television in a Hilton Hotel!!!
April 6, 2007
At 8:16 pm licoricepirate said:
love it !!!!!
April 6, 2007
At 10:52 pm gilmore said:
This is priceless!
Bravo!
April 6, 2007
At 12:21 am Adam Smith said:
One major thing wrong with your proposal there Demon Kitty.
Paris Hilton.
Deficient human.
Crap singer. Crap actress.Crap pornstar.
This is a woman who only has sex to get attention and favour from men.
Her real pleasure is in the shiny expensive trinkets that follow.
What the joyless rutting in both her porn vids indicated was a demented narcissism so complete that the only person she was aware was herself. In that moment of self awareness she realised that even being the jizz receptacle for an L.A sleazebag hustler,was something she could’nt pull off with any style or elan.It’s pretty clear that this bothered her.
Having sex with L.A sleazebag hustlers is a basic requirement for all actresses working in the San Fernando Valley.They must be able to at least look,as if they might be having fun.Instead,she looked bored, distracted and discomforted and probably started humming the theme tune from “The Smurfs” in her head,to remind herself of happier times. Salomon’s stolid, workmanlike,steady pounding, certainly did’nt help much.
It could have rocked any girl to sleep,to be fair.
I write this after having watched yet another documentary about bloody, Vivid videos.Small television production companies in England seem to make a documentary about them every three months or so,just in case you did’nt know who Jenna Jameson was.
The main star of this particular docu-soap was Brianna Banks, or “tits on a stick” as she is so charmingly known.This is a woman who has the theme tune from “The Smurfs” running through her head constantly,like aural wallpaper - day and night.
She is stunningly brainless.As pointless as debating on an internet forum,she probably has to let out the occasional fart to remind herself what way up she is. Despite her dismal low watt brainpower, she could simulate complete sexual extacy far better than Hilton ever could. Paris can’t even compete in this arena I’m afraid.
Paris was meant to marry a rich alcoholic, twenty years her senior, to consolidate the family fortune,(by super rich standards the Hilton’s aren’t that wealthy).Instead she drifted into wider public consciousness by getting into the porn world by mistake.
Incompetence is her main skill after all.
The premise of the “Simple Life” is based on her and Nicole’s complete lack of knowledge or skills,neither were trained for anything other than a good marriage to the right investment portfolio. Having her become a porn star would only mean, more bad porn,with Paris recieving the oxygen of publicity for even longer.This is a very bad idea.
What I worry about is who will replace her.
Probably someone so pampered they can’t even wipe their own arse.
April 7, 2007
Anonymous
At 7:40 am Anonymous said:
Have you ever thought tht these people are **people** too! They have feelings and emotion s just like everyone, ; evryone accept for YOU because your just mean and pick on peoples weakness spots.
You better check youreself before you wreck youreself!
Youre a sad sad person…
April 7, 2007
Sarah
At 8:50 am Sarah said:
You better check yourself before you wreck yourself?
You can’t think for yourself so you need to quote Ice T lyrics?
And to make things worse, you’re unable to spell or use grammar correctly?
The technique of satire escapes the grasp of your MySpace addled brain. Go back and listen to your ipod while you text your peeps kid.
April 7, 2007
At 9:16 am Adam Smith said:
I’ve checked myself and still managed to wreck myself,on numerous occasions.
I’ll never learn.
April 7, 2007
At 12:17 pm Sage said:
This masterpiece and a dialogue between demon kitty and Adam Smith…pure entertaintment. Thanks so much, *back to work with a smile on my face*
April 7, 2007
At 12:46 pm say said:
This is so beautiful and accurate!
April 7, 2007
At 2:56 pm Cypress said:
YOU are a genius! Bravo!
April 7, 2007
Lilly
At 4:17 pm Lilly said:
That looks nothing like Paris anyway, it looks like your daughter you concived whilst engaging in an illicit affair with your brother. It’s just sad that someone who actually seems talented would waste their time drawing cartoons for the over weight haters of the world. I’m sure Dali and Picasso are simply turning in their grave at the waste of paper…ink…talent.
April 7, 2007
At 4:41 pm JB SPRY said:
A superlative effort! You’ve captured the essence of Paris. Her resemblance to “Alice the Goon” from the old Popeye cartoons is amazing. Keep up the good work!
April 7, 2007
Asa Mamoru
At 9:34 am Asa Mamoru said:
What happened to the crabs???
April 8, 2007
14
At 5:30 pm 14 said:
What crabs? Who said anything about crabs??
The nice litttle freshwater crabs that were formally crawling about the boat had to be removed because Paris Hilton’s attorney threatened to sue me for defamation. I don’t understand how such a stupid cartoon can defame Ms. Hilton any more than she’s already defamed herself, but if silly cartoon crabs on a boat are going to ruin Paris’s image, then by golly, they must be removed!!
What crabs? Who said anything about crabs?
April 8, 2007
At 6:58 pm Kamala said:
Lilly, how DID you know that 14 “concived” a Paris-esque daughter with her brother? You must have uncovered those secret photos. The truth is out now, folks. No more hiding it, 14!! Come clean!
April 8, 2007
14
At 7:00 pm 14 said:
Brandon Davis ate them when no one was looking.
April 8, 2007
Anonymous
At 7:40 pm Anonymous said:
Lilly! I thought I paid you hush money to keep your yap shut about the illicit affair between Bubba and I. Our bird-like love child will now forever overshadow what little talent I ever had. Thanks for ruining my career.
14
April 8, 2007
skinnypuppi
At 8:15 pm skinnypuppi said:
I laughed for the first time in a week. MORE!
April 8, 2007
At 10:57 pm Shalom Raviv (Kai) said:
Speaking of paying money, 14, do you pay money to crazies to have them come to this site and generate backlash in the comments section? Because really, no person can hate 14 and come up with that random stuff on their own… right?
April 8, 2007
At 11:34 pm deanna said:
there would be no porn industry if said nutjob was unleashed to infect the multitudes of porn star professionals with noted lesions de herpes and crabs de pubic pelo. since when did we collectively start hating on those folks who work in the porn industry? do you really wish this critter on the diligent porn star professional population? to insinuate that because this pariticual beast is dumb as dirt, would somehow serve to advance her ragedy into the professional porn industry due to unrefuted stupidity on her part, is quite an insult to those hardworking, dedicated individuals. and i do not believe the united porn stars for professional standards(upsfps) would allow paris to join their union. i often wonder if paris wasn’t born into wealth what she would be doing with her life. then it came to me…. “paper or plastic”, “would you like to supersize that”, “did you say $5 on pump 4″.
April 8, 2007
At 4:42 am mike said:
Awesome, but two suggestions should you make a revision:
1) There’s no way Paris’s inner thighs are that toned.
2) Shouldn’t the skeleton helping Nicole be El Chapacabra herself (sic), Rachel Zoe??
That said, awesome work! Her face is caricature at its finest.
April 9, 2007
At 5:15 am Jim Choma said:
14 — This is your piece de resistance. The nursing cub and your oil slick comment gave me quite a chuckle this morning.
Your best ever!
I hope Greasy Bear gets a look at it. I really do.
April 9, 2007
At 6:03 am Sage said:
Lilly, you’re right…that looks nothing like Paris. Well, except for the slutty facial expression, wonky eye, unnaturally blue contacts, phallic nose, , tubular lips, opaquely bleached blonde hair, permanently fused neck posture, freakishly long humerus, trashy clothes, frequently exposed crotch(diseased of course), sagging buttocks and tranny-like feet…but other than that I see what you’re getting at.
I’ll have to disagree about us hating overwheight people…unless what you actually meant to type was ‘drawing cartoons OF the over weight haters of the world’ which I believe is a fair description of Paris and Nicole.
Finally, as to Dali and Picasso, if you were truly familiar with their lives, loves and works, you’d know they’d be some of 14’s biggest fans.
April 9, 2007
At 7:16 am AC said:
Where is the uncensored version?
April 9, 2007
At 7:34 am Trixie said:
This truly is brilliant but what happened to the crabs that were emerging from her crotch?
April 9, 2007
At 8:35 am I SHUDDER TO THINK… said:
WHERE DID THE CRABS GO?
April 9, 2007
At 9:20 am brumble said:
Posted by: Trixie | April 09, 2007 at 07:34 AM
WHERE DID THE CRABS GO?
Gregory Gabriel ate them.
April 9, 2007
At 9:42 am La Angel said:
I LOVE YOUR WORK FOURTEEN! I STAND BY YOU!
April 9, 2007
At 9:44 am Holita said:
CONGRATULATIONS ON PISSING PARIS OFF! Well done. Bravo! Bring the crabs back.
April 9, 2007
Paris Hyatt
At 9:51 am Paris Hyatt said:
Hey GREGORY GABRIEL,
Check out the shit they say about your client here. You better go run off and try and scare them from exercising their right to free speech.
http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Paris_Hilton
http://www.herpeshilton.com/forum/index.php/board,4.0.html
April 9, 2007
At 10:35 am Chilly said:
PERFECTION as always. Your work is always cutting edge, right on the money and should be showcased in a gallery. You Rock!
April 9, 2007
At 10:38 am aka Random Hero said:
I love this and all of your work. Never let that nasty bitch or anyone else try to censor you. I guarantee that you have a hell of a lot more admirers than she does.
April 9, 2007
At 10:49 am matty said:
you win… but what happened to the crabs?
April 9, 2007
At 10:53 am T Pain said:
Where are the crabs? That was the funniest part besides the huge feet coming out of her shoes. come on, put it back!
April 9, 2007
At 10:54 am HollywoodHeadache.com said:
Love it!
April 9, 2007
At 11:16 am Larry said:
Awesome picture! The likeness is uncanny!
April 9, 2007
At 11:53 am Cyclops Kitten Natividad said:
This story is getting bigger and bigger, y’all. Our pal 14 is getting written up all over with Paris freaking out about this piece and threatening legal action.
I was wondering about the crab thing myself. After all, it’s all over the internet that Ms Hilton has prescriptions for herpes meds, but the crabs…can someone with a hairless kitty cat have crabs? I did a little research.
Yes, apparently “cosmopolitan crabs” can live on the smoothly waxed surfaces of stupid rich people as well as the hairy surfaces of people neither rich or stupid. Check it out:
http://archopht.ama-assn.org/cgi/content/extract/118/1/134
The possible reason for the wonky eye is also explained in the last sentence of the first paragraph. Science rules!
April 9, 2007
At 12:22 pm Demon Kitty said:
TO Brumble: “Gregory Gabriel ate them.” That made me laugh so hard. It has also made my stomach turn. This is the only place where I can come to get grossed out while laughing hysterically at the same time.
April 9, 2007
At 12:29 pm SuziQ said:
Can you say “HAMMER TOES”?????? Ewwwww.
April 9, 2007
At 12:50 pm Cyclops Kitten Natividad said:
So what you’re saying is that Gregory Gabriel is, in fact, a Macaca fascicularis?
(common name: Crab-eating macaque)
Expect a letter shortly from the MFADL, my friend. Oh yes, that is the Macaca Fascicularis Anti-Defamation League. AS IF YOU DIDN’T KNOW.
April 9, 2007
At 1:04 pm Marie said:
I read about the lawyers breathing down your neck on dlisted. I understand their concerns (giggle, giggle!), but they can’t stop your freedom of expression. Hang in there 14.
April 9, 2007
At 1:05 pm S said:
Absolutely brilliant! Genius!! I’m tickled to death that that whore has seen this drawing! Whatever you do, DON’T TAKE IT DOWN!!! *sprawls out in middle of street* DOWN WITH THE FART IN A MITTEN!!
April 9, 2007
At 1:24 pm Eve said:
You ROCK, 14!!! I can’t believe Paris didn’t like this picture; I think all three of them look MUCH better here than in real life. You are truly an artist for that, if nothing else!
April 9, 2007
stoney nicole
At 1:44 pm stoney nicole said:
dont take it down!!! your brilliant.
April 9, 2007
At 2:08 pm fulgora77 said:
Come on people, I think we all know that “Lilly”and the one with no name are either Paris or one of her raisin-brained friends. Anyways, truly a masterpiece 14! Made me laugh even more than the Renee Zellwiger sour candy one that got me coming here in the first place!
April 9, 2007
At 2:50 pm Kache said:
What happened to the falling crabs? That was the best part of the pic.
April 9, 2007
Anonymous
At 3:06 pm Anonymous said:
LMAO!!!!! (can’t stop - not trying to)
April 9, 2007
64
At 3:22 pm 64 said:
To Adam Smith:
Have you ever heard of PARODY. Are you aware of the gossip scene. If Paris has feelings, why does she insist on showing what we do not want to see?? Grow up man!
April 9, 2007
At 3:45 pm hahaha said:
The crabs the crabs bring back Parasites falling crabs!!!!!!!!!
April 9, 2007
14
At 3:58 pm 14 said:
Thank you SO MUCH for all of your support and encouragement. I really do want to put the freshwater crabs back up, but I have to wait and hear from my attorney whether I can legally do that or not. Paris Hilton is far, faaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrr wealthier than I and unless Gregory Gabriel can accept payment in the form of rocks and shells, I can’t afford to fight for my legal rights in a court of law.
xoxo
14
April 9, 2007
At 4:00 pm katie scarlett said:
well played 14…..
April 9, 2007
At 4:23 pm michael ian bateson said:
14! i just read about what happened! i can’t believe it … so stupid. she has made a mockery of herself and now she is upset about a picture?
just don’t make an ‘anatomically correct’ chocolate paris hilton… then it is all over! for you and us.
take care!
April 9, 2007
Gigi
At 4:24 pm Gigi said:
since when was parody illegal?
April 9, 2007
At 4:57 pm ihaveadog said:
You have EVERY right to voice your opinion (re: your art) without censorship. Look up the two cases of 2 Live Crew!
I hope your attorney knows what he’s doing. Please don’t let the idiot censors of the world (Paris Hiltoon) stop you! You are brilliant!
April 9, 2007
At 5:00 pm nicki said:
I’m kind of having a hard time believing paris slutbag hilton’s lawyer would get anywhere in court if he tried to sue you. He really has no ground to stand on. Anyways, I support you wholeheartedly! thank you for making us all laugh til we pee our pants a little. ( god I hope it’s not just me ) ;p
April 9, 2007
At 5:07 pm Paris is a Whore said:
Don’t you DARE take that down. Fuck her and fuck her lawyers. They can’t touch you. Satire is covered under the first amendment. The dumb whore is only doing this so she’ll get publicity. Idiot would probably sue the Hilton in Paris because it has her name on it.
April 9, 2007
At 5:08 pm MaMa Mia said:
I thought all was fair in love and parody? Paris is such an idiot-I can’t believe she’s worried about a cartoon after we’ve all seen far worse (and all true) when that paris exposed site was up.
April 9, 2007
At 5:22 pm Kai/ Shalom said:
I’m mildly offended. I guess 14 had to censor my comment musing about the crabs. Well, I understand the attourney thing. I think everyone agrees they have no ground. I support you. I’m just… a little ticked about my comment… I believed it was innocent.. I guess I could rant about how I̵