Filed under: Tabloid Roundup

The good, the bad and the babies on a newsstand near you…

Cover War Scorecard:

Brangelina News (5)

–Evil Angelina: 1
–Cheating Brad: 1
–Blabbermouth nanny: 1
–Murder plot: 1
–Pax’s crazy, drug-loving mom (birth mom, that is): 1

Anna Nicole Smith nonsense: 5

Britney Spears nonsense (4)

–Worried friends
–Rehab lover revealed
–Kevin’s betrayal
–Blabbermouth nanny

American Idol “secrets” (of all kinds): 2

Gratuitous exclamation points: 7

Biggest surprise: Rosie O’Donnell’s apparent “stroke.” Shocking it wasn’t more widely reported. Guess all that head-butting with The Donald and Elisabeth really took its toll on poor Rosie, huh? What a shame.