Filed under: Celebrity Endorsements, The Olsen Twins
Much discussion has erupted over the recent announcement of the $45,000 Loius Vuitton bag. Only two dozen were made, and despite the fact they look like something a lawnmower chewed up, all have quickly sold out. If you think paying $45,000 is outrageous, then get a load of this Loius Vuitton $150,000 Urban Satchel debuting for Spring 2008:
Made of the world’s finest Italian leather, this one-of-a-kind luxury handbag is hand-crafted with carefully chosen “urban charms”. The proud owner of this exclusive handbag will be able to flaunt her impeccable style and lavish taste to a world that can only dream about owning such a rare and precious possession. Medium: an old purse found in the back of my closet, rubber cement, various bits of trash found on the sidewalks of San Francisco.
Ashley Olsen has signed a multimillion dollar endorsement deal to advertise the $150,000 Urban Satchel in upcoming issues of Vogue. It’s rumored the Olsen Twins are locked in heated battle over who gets to purchase the bag, while Anna Wintour and Victoria Beckham have started a nasty bidding war for it. Medium: Photoshop collage.
I hate to say it, but the $45,000 bag pictured above looks sooooo last season compared to the innovative design of the Urban Satchel.
Posted by 14 ♦ March 19, 2007
At 10:59 am trilbynhiss said:
That used band-aid really adds a touch of class… ah, if only I could afford that bag *sigh*
March 19, 2007
At 11:07 am angstmama said:
I think anyone who doesn’t have the urban satchel is beyond pathetic. I mean, c’mon!
March 19, 2007
technotala
At 11:14 am technotala said:
i love the tully’s coffee cup. looks like an assortment of things i see on the ground near the broken public restroom near the transbay terminal. klassy!
March 19, 2007
At 11:42 am fanny pack said:
The scrimp tail is what gets me.
March 19, 2007
At 12:17 pm Demon Kitty said:
Love that shrimp tail on there. I was looking to see if you stuck any used condoms on there, LOL! I mean if it is Urban and cutting edge, it has to have a rubber. We all know that people who can afford and own 45 thousand dollar handbags fuck like no one else on the planet. They have the kind of sex that us scum can only dream about.
March 19, 2007
At 1:01 pm YabaDabaDoo said:
Is that a used tea bag beside the cig pack? Mm.. this inspires me to wear my evening gown.
March 19, 2007
At 1:14 pm Angela said:
This look like something I would find in a pile of trash in New York City with a bulimic person stuck to it
March 19, 2007
At 1:16 pm Maybelline Jones said:
I was waiting for someone besides me to make fun of this brokedown bag. What is wrong with people? Anything Louis Vuitton makes is absolutely grorgeous just because it has the name. How dumb.
March 19, 2007
lauren
At 2:00 pm lauren said:
it’s spelled Louis Vuitton, NOT LOUIE
March 19, 2007
pedro
At 2:04 pm pedro said:
Lauren, DUUUUUHHHHHHHH
you miss the point the artist is trying to make.
March 19, 2007
At 2:05 pm Stephanie said:
They did a study not to long ago about germs growing on handbags….This one needs to be tested stat!!! UGH!!! My purses are way cuter than that lol!
March 19, 2007
At 2:12 pm Jennifer said:
they forgot to put a used condom or a tampon on there…maybe they are on the other side…
March 19, 2007
At 2:19 pm u58 said:
honestly i thought that bag was real, and i wanted it for a second…
lol.
March 19, 2007
At 2:52 pm SlumNobility said:
Actually, I think your send up of this latest bit of ridiculous cultural ephemera is one of your cleverest yet….in the fact that the art world is every bit as pretentious and vapid as the celebrity scene, I’m sure you could parlay this idea into a gallery show…
March 19, 2007
Sarah
At 3:13 pm Sarah said:
Well, they have to do something with their money…
March 19, 2007
At 3:13 pm Jenn F. said:
14, your bag is perfect… the shrimp tail and the dirty band-aid are definitely my favourite details.
I can’t believe it ~ the “real” LV bag, how unbelievably fugly. I wouldn’t pay ten bucks for it, and $1000 is laughable. Over forty grand? That’s just stupid. For someone to spend forty five thousand dollars on a bag that’s not even remotely attractive, they’d better be spending twenty times that amount on charities and/or environmental causes or the karma police are going to pop some nasty caps in their asses.
March 19, 2007
At 7:20 pm tearose said:
What the hell is wrong with people??? 150K for a bag is a house for a family. 45K a small condo…this just goes to show how truly material these people are. I bet you after a few wears it will be in the back of some girl’s closet…so last season. I wander what they will come up with next. I agree I hope the proud owners are giving 2 x the amount to a needy charity.
March 19, 2007
At 7:44 pm Cyclops Kitten Natividad said:
What’s really sad is that the same dumb bitches who buy this sort of ugly crap purse can’t be bothered to plunk down $9.99 at Costco for a six pack of cotton undies.
And then they have to go find some paparazzi to take pictures of their naked cooches to prove it to us.
March 19, 2007
At 8:02 pm Chansmom said:
Whoa! You do realize that many will line up to buy your creation, don’t you? A used syringe might be going over board, but think of the those that do go for the “heroin chic” look. Like, the Olsen twins? LOL!
Very nice!
March 19, 2007
At 8:03 pm Melanie said:
That is an UGLY motherlovin’ purse.
March 19, 2007
At 8:34 pm happybunny said:
Oh dear god how perfect. They will buy anything with a couture label.
March 19, 2007
At 9:26 pm Elizabeth said:
I think that the artist just put some garbage on a loui bag ta-da a 150,00 dollar bag…B.S.
March 19, 2007
Rita
At 11:37 pm Rita said:
See! That’s the hottest bag of the season! I am sure we will start seeing some high school girls wearing one of those fake ones and hanging around in the mall! Damn it! I can’t even afford the fake one!
March 19, 2007
At 11:44 pm Fingerella said:
Nice to see Lauren’s comment here. Of course everybody needs to hear what a superficial individual like her would think about this satire.
March 19, 2007
At 11:52 pm Fingerella said:
Jesus… I just missed Elizabeth’s magnificent comment.
Elizabeth honey, did you happen to forgot your
80 cc brain somewhere before typing your comment?
March 19, 2007
At 3:14 am Most Expensive Items said:
Seriously, I wont buy that patch bag even if I can. That is so unbelievable. I had an updated list of the most expensive items ever.You might want to look at them. Thank you.
http://www.most-expensive-designer-brand-items.blogspot.com/
March 20, 2007
At 5:45 am Adam Smith. said:
This bag either presages the end of Western Civilisation, or documents the nervous breakdown of a designer.
Like all modern consumer items it is supposed to indicate something about the innate sensibilities of the person who owns it. In this case it demonstrates that the person sporting this fash-mag trash is a complete and utter fuckanoodle,acting as a giant warning signal to anybody with a modicum of intelligence,screaming, “stay away from the idiot”. One could therefore argue that it performs an important social service. More should be made.
Fourteen took on the Herculean task of parodying something that could not be parodied and by and large succeeded. I’m not sure if it would go down well in the American market, but there are shops near where I live in London that would sell her bag, especially since it’s handcrafted by an artist.
With the right spin, wealthy fuck-muppets will buy anything.
March 20, 2007
At 6:17 am Candice said:
I’m finding it hard to get over the actual purse that’s being made fun of in order to enjoy the parody. I cannot believe that anyone would buy that, even people that are known for wasting money. Just…wow.
March 20, 2007
At 11:05 am Judi said:
There are millions of starving people and this? PULEEEEEEEZ, God, help us all!
March 20, 2007
At 11:30 am Kai said:
Holy knapsack! I have no arts and crafts skills, but I can make that $45,000 handbag, no problem! How much do you think for a LV knockoff? Why do women spend so much on purses? I asked my girlfriend this before we broke up (I swear that did not contribute to the breakup). Is it brand name? Look, I know guys can spend a ridiculous amounts of money on cars. But they look good, are useful, and spending more on one probably means it will perform better! You can get a nice car for $45,000! It will carry your stuff and take you places! How can you spend so much money on something that just carries your sh*t around? It’s not like you can improve on the functioning of that. Oh, and while you’re explaining that to me, can you explain the shoe thing to me, too? I really don’t get that.
Shalom,
Kai
(Your token Jewish commenter)
P.S. 14 does the Urban Satchel smell like a NYC subway station? Mmmmmm.
March 20, 2007
At 12:46 pm Che said:
You forgot the used condom wrapper
March 20, 2007
At 2:13 pm Shoegirl said:
I can see a dog nawing on that purse as his own special chew toy or somebodys toddler picking off every intricate $150,000 detail one by one.
March 20, 2007
At 2:41 pm Christina T. said:
I’ve been following your blog for a year or so now (the only blog I really read), but this is my first time posting.
I just found this particular post one of the funniest entries you have done in a long time! I cannot fathom how even the wealthiest of the wealthy would blow that much money on a shitty, ugly purse. It costs less than what my entire college education will be once I finally get out of school. I don’t really understand high fashion, either.
My marketing teacher is right, people just buy things like this to show that they can. I’ll just stick to the gap. Hell, even the gap is sometimes too expensive for me!
Oy gevalt!
But, hope you don’t mind that I linked your website from my facebook. I’m trying to get my friends hooked on your site too.
xxoo
Christy
March 20, 2007
At 5:29 pm Adam Smith. said:
Civilisations rise and fall. This one will eventually,(probably not as soon as soon as the present carbon farting war monkies seem to want it to), but it will end. My main worry is that future archaeologists won’t unearth a copy of “The Theory Of Relativity”, Stevie Wonder’s “Innervisions”,
or even a really good computer (Mac or P.C,no preference);instead they’ll find , a DVD of the “Simple Life” (series one), David Hasselhof’s mummified body and this fucking bag.
They will then declare this epoch as unworthy of study, and deserving of whatever fate befell it.
March 20, 2007
At 6:17 pm deanna said:
gee whiz kai,
last year you wanted us to explain spam, no vienna sausage… now it’s tell me about the purse and shoes appeal. I hate to say this but I feel like you’re sucking your friends dry. :0)
DemonKitty, I must admit I too searched immediately for the the used pink or purple condom, hanging ever so slightly from the side with the torn sporty condom foil wrapper placed with tender care on or near the zipper, advertising the improved grape flavor bursting with new fruitiness…and whatever else. beyond that unnecessary comment, 14 how dare you try to push this bag on the public without the mercedes auto piece you broke off some idiots car who probably has the real mccoy in trunk? I simply wouldn’t buy the bag without it. it’s like c’mmon you know the crowd is hard to please. I love the bag and would like to see you auction it on ebay… I’m sure if you gave it some swanky french name you could get more than what lv is asking for that piece of trashy trash. can’t wait for the knockoffs.
March 20, 2007
At 8:00 pm deanna said:
demonkitty,
when i mentioned unnecessary comment i was referring to my own vulgar unecessary comment about the intense fruity grape flavored prophylaxis. i didn’t want my words to be misinterpreted. looking at that bag again i seriously think a boca burger box or used syringe would set that bag off…
March 20, 2007
At 8:14 pm Adam Smith. said:
I have fakes of Fourteen’s bag available for sale on E-bay, for only 5oo euros.
No dollars please.If you pay in U.S dollars YOU pay the conversion fees.
Every bag is hastily slung together by an army of cold turkey junkies, on a one bag one hit basis. All bags are original and personally signed in junky blood, with a choice of Hepatitus A,B or C varieties.
A perfect fusion of Haute Couture, and urban deprivation, with tiny little pockets for your own personal vice (Clarky Cats, Purple Munchers,Jelly Bentines,Yellow Moshers,Disco-Biscuits,etc).
Each one is unique,like Andy Warhol meets Charles Bukowski as imagined by a Crackhead.
A parody of a parody, that’s so ironic, you’ll never know whether you’re being very clever or extremely stupid.
They also come available with free T-shirts declaring the witless anodyne philosophy of the buyer.
So far we have:
The Olsen.
“I’m frightened and depressed. Let’s see if nobody will notice me,if I hide behind this giant bit of designer rubbish”.
The Hilton
“Fuck you all. It’s true I’m a nauseating little bobble head, with the erotic appeal of a moose drowning in a tarpit.But me,my Dad and my Boyfriend could buy you all a million times over.So, er…Fuck you all, Firecrotch Bastards”
And finally the Lohan. Which comes in two types.
“Read my lips.Because I’m so fucked on Jelly Bentines,the face has not said anything other than ‘bibble’,in three hours”
That last one’s a thinker.
And the rather less subtle.
“Come on boys.It’s not going to lick itself”
Buy them now, while stocks (and junkies) last. It’s almost as cool as playing soccer with a dog.
March 20, 2007
At 11:11 pm Viper Tetsu said:
Adam, ‘fuck-muppet’ is my new favorite word. Bless you, my brother, for expanding my Yank vocabulary.
And dear Quatorze, no one calls Emperor’s-New-Clothes Bullshit on celebrity fads and indulgences so hilariously. Checkmate.
How much of the Goth Stoned Raccoon Dominatrix Olsen Twin pic is real and how much (if any) has been, um, surgically altered? Inquiring minds wanna know.
March 20, 2007
At 12:34 am Lachrymose Kai said:
Deanna, I am crying heavy tears of ashamedness. I had no idea my quest for enlightenment was sapping the souls and knowledge banks of those closest to me. When a man reaches up into the sky to try to grab a star, he is unaware of those he may be trodding upon to reach that star. That star being, of course, understanding women’s buying decisions. Yet is such a star worth crushing my friends underneath my careless feet? I shall be content to watch the star glint upon the surface of the pool of reflection, believing that yet someday my friends may elevate me to greater heights of understanding. But only when they have found those reserves of strength within themselves, which will surely be reciprocated by me.
Cum meis pedibus terram, stellam capere non possum.
Wishing for forgiveness,
Kai
(Your commenter who is too woeful to put his tagline)
March 21, 2007
At 12:15 pm Noelegy said:
Add the ridiculously expensive handbags to the list of things I Just Don’t Get. I have a purse that I bought two years ago at Target. It cost $15 and has no designer name on it. Yet it performs its function as well as anything LV ever fobbed on a foolish public. It may say to some that I am ignorant of what’s hip and hot and happenin’, but to me it’s just my purse and it carries my stuff.
March 21, 2007
At 2:12 pm Charlton Hawking said:
“Let me show you Derelicte. It is a fashion, a way of life inspired by the very homeless, the vagrants, the crack whores that make this wonderful city so unique.” — Mugatu
March 21, 2007
At 10:28 pm Coffeegod said:
Rich people will friggin’ buy anything.
March 21, 2007
64
At 8:00 am 64 said:
Is that a raisin on that wadded napkin or ?
As usual, You are fabulous!!!!!
March 22, 2007
At 1:18 pm i hate idiot said:
You know, I don’t think some of these idiots get it. The big purse for 150,000 is fake and it is done as a humorous drawing. Some people actually think it is real. bah. We are doomed. As for the original purse, Bleh
March 22, 2007
At 2:44 pm deanna1104 said:
sweet sweet kai,
please continue to apologize. i, praytell, have never read such sweet apology. i will remain here, in this place, before thine screen, until hence, the one who call himself kai, the man to woeful to leave a tagname, returns to bedazzle said blog with words plucked from the sweetest tree of wordiness. continue child, to raise my ego to further heights yet unknown. i forgive you for treading carelessly while trodding selfishly all over our friendship, but just this one time and only after your finish the apology, as requested. :0)
deanna
March 22, 2007
At 5:23 pm samd said:
This is very clever. I love that and the African baby bag.
March 22, 2007
At 7:48 pm Anna said:
Is Marc Jacobs the designer of this bag?? Can someone tell me where i can find more info on the bag??
March 24, 2007
CAROLINE
At 1:27 pm CAROLINE said:
THATZ A NASTY A** PEICE OF S**T WHO DA HELL WOULD BUY GARBAGE AS A PURSE? S**T ILL MAKE MY OWN DAMN BAG OUTTA GARBAGE FROM MY RECYCLABLES
April 3, 2007
At 4:35 am TC Girl said:
Your Art is simply FAMULOUS darlin’ love it all - Art should stimulate the mind and when it makes you Laugh Out Loud - the irony of it all is complete. Thanks for sharing. TC
April 11, 2007
Anonymous
At 1:59 am Anonymous said:
its the most poofiest bag ive eva seen
April 15, 2007
Peta
At 6:20 pm Peta said:
Man, the crap celebrities will blow a year-of-college worth of money on….
April 17, 2007
At 9:36 am Mr. Wiggles said:
I Think my mom has one of those…..
May 8, 2007
At 12:29 am cherise said:
i can’t believe you really did that - glued all that gunk onto your bag i mean! rofl! and this thing is so utterly believable (the way you put it) I thought it was for real until i read further!
May 10, 2007
At 10:38 pm Linda said:
this is so fake. first off, the “louie vuitton” is spelled incorrectly. it’s louis vuitton. and the picture with ashley olsen and the bag is photoshopped to have ashley olsen’s head on the model’s body and the bag is photoshopped in to be on the hand. louis vuitton is too classy to make a bag like this piece of sh*t. wtf!?!
July 14, 2007
At 10:41 pm Linda said:
also, the picture posted of the $45,000 louis vuitton bag is stretched out, that’s why it looks unattractive in the posted picture.
July 14, 2007
At 6:45 pm Freyja said:
Wow. Just, wow. Linda, honey, are you serious? Linda, for the sake of the human race you need to be put out of your misery before you can reproduce. Please feel free to play in the freeway and with loaded guns.
August 15, 2007
At 2:31 pm Nicole said:
You are just Fantastic!!!
August 16, 2007
At 6:27 pm chelsie said:
luk at yall cussin pplz dwn ur just jelouse lil tramps al n ur so go bk t ur council ouse n suk dik
October 20, 2007
Gazelle
At 5:42 am Gazelle said:
This bag is what can be best described as utter crap! $45,000 for such a make-shift, put-together accessory is utter nonsense, yet you get people with nothing better to do with their money buying it, only to end up lying in some drawer once the novelty factor has worn off, it would not matter if I had £1m in the bank, I would not buy such trash, neither do I know any girl who would thank me for it, this kind of money is better spent on other stuff that is more needing, not on things that are here one minute, and gone the next! A total waste of money!!
November 25, 2007
Gazelle
At 5:52 am Gazelle said:
This bag is what can be best described as utter crap! $45,000 for such a make-shift, put-together accessory is utter nonsense, yet you get people with nothing better to do with their money buying it, only to end up lying in some drawer once the novelty factor has worn off, it would not matter if I had £1m in the bank, I would not buy such trash, neither do I know any girl who would thank me for it, this kind of money is better spent on other stuff that is more needing, not on things that are here one minute, and gone the next! A total waste of money!!
November 25, 2007
Sannah
At 8:16 am Sannah said:
I hate this bag. It’s a hidious mess.
December 1, 2007
At 3:11 pm Audrj said:
Cant be more ugly.
I don’t think white trailer trash can afford this bag.
Welcome to the trash club everyone who will buy.
http://www.designersdeals.net
December 20, 2007
At 5:12 pm Chillin said:
Damn, Wish I could have designed it!…I could have been rich pickin shit up off the street! Some people have all the luck!
January 19, 2008