Filed under: Donald Trump, Donald Trump Art, Valentines
Donald Trump has just launched an exceptional superior premium luxury Valentine candy and he’s confident it will become a best-seller for Valentine’s Day. Conversation hearts have been a cherished Valentine tradition since 1902, but Trump says “people were getting sick of all those ridiculous sappy love messages” and decided to revamp the candies to better reflect the arrogance superiority and prestige of the Trump image. Says Trump:
“Trump super premium luxury Valentine candies are a big idea. Everyone knows the Trump brand is the most recognizable and valued global trademark in existence today. When people see the Trump name, they know they’re buying the unrivalled cache that only Trump can provide. These superior candies are crafted from the world’s finest ingredients and will rapidly evolve into the unquestioned preference of uncompromising consumers. Trump Valentine Conversation Hearts will outsell all other candies in the Valentine consumables category and if you don’t agree, you’re a big fat ugly loser idiot with a fat disgusting head and I will take great pleasure in witnessing your public humiliation and failure.”
Posted by 14 ♦ February 5, 2007
At 4:56 am Mr.Man said:
14,…….”You’re Hired!!!”
February 5, 2007
At 5:52 am Melanie said:
I love the expression on his face - he looks like a big, sulky kid.
February 5, 2007
At 6:24 am licoricepirate said:
hehehe i luv this
February 5, 2007
At 7:53 am Heather said:
Good one 14!I always look forward to my weekly dose of absurdity…glad to see your selling prints now!
February 5, 2007
At 7:55 am andrea said:
FUNNY funny, FUNNY. I love those. So perfect. He is odious. the quintessential ugly American. and a loudmouth. so uncouth. so wrongly given a forum in which to be feared and respected because of his colossal greed and flash. sigh. We “get” the culture we “deserve”. Thank God you are here to counter it. Like planting a tree to assuage the carbon dioxide. But I still wish he’d just Go Away. that ugly, twisted mouth.
February 5, 2007
Anonymous
At 10:09 am Anonymous said:
awesome as always, but why did you give him a haircut???? whyyyyy????
February 5, 2007
At 10:21 am Erik said:
Mmmm, just what everyone wants, candy that tastes like sour ass. Super funny though!
February 5, 2007
At 10:55 am Jenn F. said:
Oh the poor, poor little rich man.
No matter how many millions he makes, he’ll still continue to look like a strained little hemmorhoid.
February 5, 2007
At 2:55 pm Demon Kitty said:
The man is a malevolent prune. I like how you made his head too big for his body.
Demon Kitty
February 5, 2007
At 4:42 pm Combover Bunny said:
Is he gonna give some candy to Rosie?
February 5, 2007
At 5:07 pm Yetused said:
Yummy!
I guess they taste like bile and arrogance.
February 5, 2007
At 5:36 pm Sage said:
*laughing an exceptional superior premium luxurious laugh*. Thank you 14…I laughed
so hard that tears came to my eyes. (For me a rarity). I saw an exceptional superior premium luxury Trump necktie at Ross for $9.99. That made me giggle too.
February 5, 2007
Anonymous
At 6:08 pm Anonymous said:
cachet?
February 5, 2007
At 6:14 pm deanna said:
Grrreat!! I love the superior expression. He looks much more constipated now than he did in that picture you created of him and his wife pitching that ad for their constipation cream, which obviously does nothing to relieve either of them. 14, you da best. Ever since someone mentioned somewhere that his mouth looks like an anus I just can’t shake the feeling I’m looking at an a**hole with a cotton candy toupe wrapped around it. Damn but that his mouth doesn’t look like an anus, especially when he moves it and stuff..(comes out)
February 5, 2007
At 8:51 pm Demon Kitty said:
14, please go to perez hilton to see the latest on Jessica Simpson’s big ass mouth. I have never met anyone who could open their mouth this wide. She was probably able to get Nick Lachey’s dick, balls, vans/glans deferus (??) prostate and intestines in that damn thing. I wanted you to get this ASAP so I Posted it here. Sorry.
February 5, 2007
At 8:57 pm Demon Kitty said:
Hey Deanna, I was the one who said his mouth looks like an anus. I am pretty sure I was. I have to take credit for this, because life is just hell you know? Oh fuck it! Aren’t you just waiting for excreta to come out of his mouth when you look at it? The man really needs to trim his eyebrows, they make my stomach turn. I don’t care how much money he has, how can that woman ride him?
Yetused, I had a quickie look at your blog. It seemed pretty interesting. I will have to go back.
February 5, 2007
At 11:16 pm Knox Bronson said:
donald trump shares one thing with paris hilton: the worst bone structure in the “celebrity” world. God they are two hideous human beings.
Trumn isn’t banging anyone … anybody that talks that much about screwing supermodels is flat-lining in the boudoir.
thank you, 14, for another great illustration. You are a hero of mine.
February 5, 2007
At 7:40 am Jenn F. said:
He kind of looks like a big wrinkly baby.
February 6, 2007
At 4:02 pm deanna said:
those words will forever be burned into my mind… you’re the best demon kitty. nothing like a talking anal sphincter singing a lullaby in one’s dreams at night.
February 6, 2007
At 5:24 pm KFed said:
Lol his hair!! Btw.. didn’t this used to be “Gallery of Absurd”?
February 6, 2007
At 7:36 pm Jenn F. said:
Oh Jesus. Thanks, Deanna, for clarifying that image… the lullabye-singing sphincter. I’m afraid to go to bed now, lest the angry poop-chute start spitting out feces-speckled insults in my dreams.
And YOU Demon Kitty, putting that image of his skanky plastic wife riding him like the expensive hooker that she is. Gaaaah! Yucky!
February 6, 2007
At 11:09 pm Chansmom said:
Are they sour to go along with his lousy attitude? How did this idiot become famous? Yes, I get the being rich part, but c’mon, there’s plenty of folks with money who keep quiet. Not this jack-stick.
Love the hair. =)
February 6, 2007
At 11:18 pm Viper Tetsu said:
Kipling West’s phrase describing Trump, “Short-Fingered Vulgarian,” gets excruciating embodiment here. This one hurts, it’s so ugly/funny.
Your customarily lovely work brings home something I never noticed before: Donald Trump looks like Hiro from the HEROES TV series, chewed up and shit out.
February 6, 2007
At 3:31 pm javelin said:
ahahaha I think Donald would totally market these. He’s probably stealing your idea right now and building a Trump Factory two inches from your window. On Valentines, all his oppressed employees will pool their resources and buy a box to send his way.
And you guys are right, his mouth does look like an anus. Ew.
February 7, 2007
At 9:24 am Susan (Fluff) said:
Hi, it’s Susan from L.A.
Nice Conversation Hearts! I did some too for the elderly, they’re on my new MySpace.
Come visit me!
http://www.myspace.com/laddersandalcohol
February 8, 2007
Damien
At 1:58 pm Damien said:
hmmm trumpy goodness, easy on the hips but does lead to baldness, bad wid included.
February 8, 2007
At 8:57 pm E said:
I wish I could buy these and give them to all my friends! Brilliant!
February 8, 2007