Filed under: Movie, Book & Magazine Parodies
Rocky Balboa is the neverending story of the underdog prize fighter who always manages to win. In the sixth installment of the series, the 60 year old Sylvester Stallone shows he’s still got what it takes despite the fact he’s often compared to looking like his mother or poked fun of in a newspaper headline calling him “…more stocky than Rocky”. Rocky Balboa has received favorable reviews from the Hollywood Reporter and Variety, but it’s going to be nothing compared to the future greatness of Rocky 7: Nursing Home Rumble. Slated for release on December 20, 2026, Stallone will once again prove that he can still throw a bloody punch. Watch with unabashed glee as the 80-year old Rocky pummels his geriatric neighbors Arnold Shwarzenegger and Steven Seagal. Medium: Acrylic and charcol on paper with wine spilled on it. Much thanks to clever Kipling for the brainstorm.
We predict Sylvester Stallone will continue to sport his current pointy black eyebrows and poorly-fitted jet black toupee well into his eighties. If he’s not careful, he’ll also destroy his charming hangdog expression with gallons of botox resulting in an epic battle between droopy and puffy. This could be the subject of Rocky 8: Gravity vs. Excessive Cosmetic Surgery.
Posted by 14 ♦ December 18, 2006
At 9:37 am Chansmom said:
There comes a time where you have to let some things go. I wonder when he’s going to do just that.
I saw a picture of Sylvester a couple of weeks ago, and the latest round of surgery is sad.
Good work, 14. LOL!
December 18, 2006
At 9:52 am Tess said:
I actually spit on my screen…
Hilarious.
Merry Christmas, 14.
December 18, 2006
At 10:15 am deanna said:
ahh geez 14,
you’re killing me….why? why?
do you realize the physical pain involved in too much laughing? well do you? if you care for your fans why do you hurt us with this sort of lower gut aching cheap,truthful, and crazy humor? why? i love the gray hairline around the “ill-fitting” toupe and the botched eye job. so unfortunate that growing old gracefully has “become a fight of epic porportions”…one of which stallone and joan collins seems to be losing as each fight mightly with scapel and botox, bravely in a surgeon’s office, while trying to hold on to a sliver of a spotlight somewhere in middle earth.
December 18, 2006
At 10:44 am deanna said:
and the diaper is wet….
December 18, 2006
At 11:19 am Maria said:
OMG. Stomach full. I’m going to crap my panties, here at work.
December 18, 2006
At 11:30 am Cyclops Kitten Natividad said:
Ok, the stained diaper is freakin’ my beans. Remind me never to piss you off (har har)!
Can’t wait for the inevitable “UR makin fun of old peeps U SUCK!” post.
December 18, 2006
At 12:12 pm Bella said:
Making fun of old people is awesome. Especially old people with incontinence problems.
Rock on with your fucking awesome self, 14.
December 18, 2006
bettiepage13
At 12:24 pm bettiepage13 said:
Sensationnel! Comme toujours. Ca en deviendrait presque agaçant… ;-P
December 18, 2006
At 12:37 pm Bo$$ said:
You are soo funny, and imaginative!
He really needs to stop the madness.
*alright…whose going to go see rocky 7?
December 18, 2006
At 1:37 pm Kai, obligingly said:
UR makin fun of old peeps U SUCK!
(We all love you 14)
December 18, 2006
EVA
At 1:53 pm EVA said:
Rocky 7 will prob. be released around the same time as Rambo 94.. Never ends does it?
x I almost needed a diaper after seeing this x
Great job, 14!
December 18, 2006
At 2:55 pm Mongolian Beef said:
Seeing Stallone in a Depends undergarment is almost as gross as his latest attempt at staving off the aging process. I guess I could check him out on “Awful Plastic Surgery”.
So why haven’t you been snatched up by a publisher yet? I would love to see a hardcover compilation of your work. I’d also love to see your illustrations featured monthly in a magazine like Vanity Fair. I might actually re-subscribe to that magazine if they picked you up as a monthly contributor.
Just a thought ………
December 18, 2006
At 7:46 pm jerkygirl said:
Ha ha, 14, you got the lip curl and the dead eyes just perfect!!! Love how his diaper is hiked up like old man pants. BTW, been off the ‘puter for about a week–Happy Belated Birthday!!!
December 18, 2006
At 8:01 pm Texas said:
I’ve always thought his dead eye would go far south on his face as he age. Sort of like Sloth in “The Goonies”
I spot Giant Depends diaper ad he would endorse in the near future!
Thanks for the laugh!! Looking forward for the next one and many more to come!
December 18, 2006
At 9:38 pm Anonymous said:
I want you so bad! MARRY ME 14!
December 18, 2006
At 6:33 am robin said:
My sister and I had the same idea for his next movie. But we also figured that he would be fighting other geriatrics for the attention of a certain lovely lady…courtney love, maybe? Thought that the melting face that they are both afflicted with would go beautifully together.
December 19, 2006
At 2:15 pm Viper Tetsu said:
DaVinci’s Mona Lisa, masterpiece though it is, comes down to one factor: The Faintly Knowing Smile. That’s what clinches it.
Here, it’s The Arched Augmented Eyebrows. Mother Mary in Silk Everlast Shorts, it’s the eyebrows. And then you zoom in on ‘em to boot.
It hurts so good.
December 19, 2006
At 2:34 pm Demon Kitty said:
This is the first time I have ever experienced the sensation of being grossed out while laughing at the same time. The way his hands are in the air in that boxer’s stance - the tiny stick legs, that big ass grandma diaper hiked up to his sagging tits - then I read someone’s comment about the diaper being wet. Ew!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You are hilarious 14!
Demon Kitty
December 19, 2006
At 5:09 pm midevil said:
Totally off topic, but wow, did you notice Donald Frump’s hair in People today? Whoa…
December 19, 2006
At 6:00 pm Jenn F. said:
Oh, those little old-man birdie legs really are fantastic… and the way those mammoth granny diapers are hiked up to his sagging man-boobs. It’s a beautiful thing, in a really gross, gag reflex-inducing kind of way.
The best thing about your work is how you push it to these fabulous extremes, and yet you balance it nicely with subtle touches… like the way the diaper is pee-stained just enough so that you have to look right at the crotch to notice it (or wrench open the back and take a whiff… gak-GAK *shudder*)
I agree whole-heartedly with Mongolian Beef… a nice big hard-cover coffee-table-sized book is definitely due. I’d buy it in a second.
December 19, 2006
Anonymous
At 8:40 pm Anonymous said:
Your all beautiful and are going to heaven may frogg’s
December 19, 2006
At 1:42 pm Javelin said:
that close up of his face is awesome. it’s like a preview of what the slow-motion fight scenes would be like, where you could see a punch land on him and ripple through his flab and excess skin like a series of tidal waves…[shudder]
December 20, 2006
ILSA
At 6:35 pm ILSA said:
I saw the beginning of this portrait, and began laughing my foolish ass off…then I scrolled down to see the diaper and nearly pissed my pants like he did. I need some extra-large, super-absorbency Depends too! I do kinda feel sorry for him; with a mother like his, he does not stand a chance in old age. Never mind Paris Hilton; he is the king of the wonky eyes.
December 26, 2006
At 12:27 am gseac said:
man the next rocy movie wont bfe him as a fighter they r going to try him as a trainer agian like they did in Rocky 5. this time the figher will be the Jamacin kid from Rocky Balboa but after that one fails they will relise that the series died in the 80’s after the number 4, and for Rambbo the next one he is going to like the Lt. on Gen because the guy that played in the others has died so htey will have him doing that role and if they dont then they got a problem becasue if u saw the last rocky movie u know that he just doesnt look the same he is still big but he is flaby arount his chest and he has a reallly fat face now after takin all the roids while he was doing the first rambo movies
December 31, 2006
At 8:47 pm rocky said:
There are six Rocky Films out, and all are awesome…So yeah, he must be doing something wrong…
Rocky is someone that was all can look up to….if you people hate it so much, then why bother talkin about it…..Bottom line, Rocky is the best movie character ever created!!
January 13, 2007
At 4:09 pm libraesque said:
great……….I’m at work, and I’m pretty sure I just pissed my pantalones
this is the funniest shit EVER
oh “rocky” I’m a Rocky fan too (of the first couple) but I have a sense of humor too
January 19, 2007
Miss L
At 3:32 pm Miss L said:
amazing. i’m indifferent to stallone and the whole rocky franchise, but irregardless- this is just talent.
January 21, 2007
At 10:34 am cody symanowski said:
rocky is the best and could kick anybodys ass
January 22, 2007
At 8:53 am shane giles said:
now you listen to me. just who in the fuck do youthink you are? how dare you insult rocky balboa!!! you ignorant prick! i will severely damage you in an anal manner if you ever say anything bad about my hero again, you fuckin eejit! ill shit on your mother and molest your father. smell of shit off ya boy, go home and kill yourself, ya bollix!
January 25, 2007
At 3:55 pm Daniel s said:
What the fuck, this site is so gay, so what if he made a rocky 6 get the fuck over it u bunch of cock fuckers. Geez all the Rocky movies where mad, but i guess all u pussy’s arnt into Fighting ay. If u guys dont like Rocky go watch some Romance Movie and stop complaining about a perfectly good movie.
Your all a bunch of Pussy’s
February 3, 2007
At 3:12 am Talib Demai said:
Nice finish (?) of the endless story of man who did unbelievable things! No need of the seventh one.
February 11, 2007
Anonymous
At 5:40 pm Anonymous said:
HA ALL U GUYS MAKE ME LAF ROCKY IS AN INSPERATION TO ALMOST EVERY BOXER I NOW OF IN SOME WAY SHAPE OR FORM I MANAGED TO RECOVER FULLY FROM HAVING BROKEN MY SPINE THE INSPERATION FROM HIS FILMS DROVE ME TO BELEAVE IN MY SELF SO WAT IF HE WANTS TO MAKE FILM AFTER FILM ITS HIS LIFE AN I THINK HE DID THEM ALL EXTREMELY WELL JUST BECAUSE HE STOOD UP AND MADE SOMETHING OF HIS LIFE WITH AGE BEING NO BOUNDRY WAT HAVE U EVER DONE IN YOUR LIFE WORTH BRAGGING ABOUT EY MADE A SITE ABOUT A GUY WHO HAS MADE SOMETHING OF HIS U GREST SLY
March 3, 2007
Anonymous
At 5:44 pm Anonymous said:
why dont u post my opions u prick just cause i hav something gud to say about the guy
March 3, 2007
Anonymous
At 5:49 pm Anonymous said:
ha do u hav anything better 2 do than sit at home makin websites about a guy that seems to really piss u off wats wrong mate u sad cause u will never get the chance to make 6 films and own millions of dollars for doin it u sad sad prick
March 3, 2007
At 4:05 am rosario said:
siete solo delle persone molto stupide!come fate a criticare un personaggio fantastico come stallone?in italia tutti abbiamo apprezzato il suo grande impegno nel fare questo film!e’ stato un capolavoro del cinema!non sara’ il massimo fisicamente ma stallone e’ un grande!!!!!!!!
March 15, 2007
At 11:29 pm Thomas Adams said:
You know ? People said Rocky 6 was going to bomb, But the criticks didn’t rip it up all that much. It actually got some good reviews at the Box office. I honestly thought it was the third best film in the Rocky franchise.
But just like your hillarious Rocky 7 poster, I think Rocky seven should be like a Family guy cartoon, But with sly’s voice no doubt. ” Ayo Polly ? Ya think you can pass me my diaper ? Ayo, Clubber ? Ya’s want another shot ? Get outta yours wheelchair and let me knock you down like a Kuntucky Fried Idiot !!!!!
March 17, 2007
At 9:55 pm Thomas Adams said:
“Hey Shut up Rock !!!! Again you dodged my proposal on a third rematch 35 yrs ago !! Opollo taught you well….Fool !! But Mason Dixie’s my step Grandson.”
Rocky : ” Yeah !!! talk about a paper champion. I almost beat him 10 yrs. ago. ”
Robert comes into the room with his
Girlfriend. It was the same girl that
Tommy Gun dated in 91.
Robert : “Hey Dad !!! How’s the pain ?”
Rocky : On a scale from 1 to Drago ?
Roberts Girlfriend : Hi Mister Balboa !!
Remember Me ?
Rocky: Ayo !!! Your the one who screwed
Tommy. In both senses of the
Word.
Stay tuned for more footage of Rocky 7by Tom on this forum.
April 2, 2007
At 11:55 pm Thomas Adams said:
Rocky : Ayo ? Whatever happened to Tommy ?
Robert : Acording to sources I heard, I think
He went home and became and Drunk.
He’s also the town bully.
Poly : Hey Rock ? Maybe he should work for
Gasso. He wouldn’t wimp out on Gasso
like you, and he’d break everybody’s
thumb.
Rocky : I shouldv’e broken your thumb !!!
Poly : Your brain Damage is getting worse
Rock. That line was already used in
your first movie.
Rocky : I know, I’m just tired. I just want
to go home….Mick. I just want to
go home.
Robert : I’m getting a nurse Poly. When dad
starts repeating lines from his old
movies, Theres a problem.
Rocky : Nothings real if you don’t believe
in who you are. I don’t don’t
Believe in myself. I fight and lose
I’m finished..Thats it.
Doctor in other room: Bout time
Rocky: Hey yo !!! Shut up !!!!
April 14, 2007
At 8:53 am Shawn Burns said:
now you listen to me. just who in the fuck do youthink you are? how dare you insult rocky balboa!!! you ignorant prick! i will severely damage you in an anal manner if you ever say anything bad about my hero again, you fuckin eejit! ill shit on your mother and molest your father. smell of shit off ya boy, go home and kill yourself, ya bollix!
April 25, 2007
At 8:01 am rockyfan1 said:
thanks just great nerdy artists r makeing fun of an old man that’s about 60 years old that is still stronger faster and more athletic then the artists that r 20 or 30 and have been wasteing there hole life painting gay images like this one yet rocky is still going to be 100 stronger in 2026 then the laim artists who made these images
May 5, 2007
At 7:10 pm totalrocky said:
how dare u people insult rocky. he’s the best most inspiraional charcter ever. If u make fun of him, ur probabbly a fat kid who’s 50 living in his moms house.
May 29, 2007
At 4:48 pm Dan said:
Rocky 7 should have arnie in! bring on rocky 7
July 3, 2007
Peta
At 10:03 pm Peta said:
Would someone tell me why folks need to completely wreck the English language whenever they’re writing a comment disagreeing with 14’s work? Honestly, do you think the piss poor grammar, the atrocious spelling errors and the middle-school level insults help your cause?
You’re a fan of the Rocky films and Sly Stallone. That’s all well and good, but show the films and the actor some respect by actually taking the time and effort to construct a proper and more effective rebuttal. You may mean well, but you don’t have to make yourself sound like a barely educated dreg in the process.
July 3, 2007
Dan
At 7:55 am Dan said:
rocky is awesome and that pic is shit
August 7, 2007
At 1:39 am Rocco Micucci said:
Rocky is by far the most recognized character in the world. Go to any country and just say the name. We live in a time when we are told what we can and can’t do I think we needed a story like this. They say we live in a free country how free is it when you really think about it.
- Rocco Micucci
Rocky Fan Till I Die
October 14, 2007
At 5:37 am ishaan singh sareen said:
i am a great fan and i have watched all 6 for about 200 times or more
i now tremember almost every dialogue mikie n mr. balboa…..
i have scratched over 9 cds watching this movie n i am waiting for the 7th part
January 22, 2008