Filed under: Madonna, Madonna Art, Movie, Book & Magazine Parodies
Do you recognize this person? She graced the cover of a recent issue of Out magazine and was so heavily photoshopped it was hard to recognize that it was Madonna. Why this growing trend of transforming women on magazine covers into space aliens? Maybe it’s all part of a conspiracy. An interesting theory making the rounds among UFO/Alien enthusiasts is that aliens are simply time-traveling super-evolved humans visiting Earth from the future. If that’s the case, we speculate Madonna will look like this many thousands of years from now:
The standard of beauty defined by Hollywood is already starting to exhibit signs of natural selection toward classic grey alien traits - just look at all the giant heads on stick bodies showing up in the pages of the tabloids.
If this disturbing trend continues, then Esquire’s annual “Sexiest Woman Alive” is going to look like this 11,000 years from now.
Posted by 14 ♦ October 6, 2006
At 4:35 am midevil said:
Could you please please please do a painting of those two horrid looking aliens, the Olsen Twins?
October 6, 2006
At 7:06 am DonnaJEM said:
The real picture on the cover is just gross. Your rendition however is fabulous.
Again, another magazine’s photoshop department that should be sacked.
And I’ve always wanted a public place to say this, I FUCKING HATE HER HAIR!!!!!!.
It’s feathered beyond recognition and the way is dips over one of her alien eyeballs is stupid looking.
This is just Madonna trying to stay relevant waaaaaaaay past her time.
October 6, 2006
penname
At 8:20 am penname said:
I hadn’t seen the cover until I saw it on Perez’s site and … Wow. You made her look spectacular in comparison.
October 6, 2006
At 10:07 am Maria said:
OMG you are a mad scientist. I had to google this magazine cover because I hadn’t seen it. Do you have to make my Friday, every damn Friday so joyful?
October 6, 2006
At 10:44 am langtry said:
Oh. My. God.
Brilliant, just brilliant, 14!
/ “The Secret Gay Life of Jimminy Cricket”, “Accessories That Make You Look Naked”, etc. You are a masterful social commentarian, a la Chris Rock, only your genre is art, not stand up comedy (more like “fall down laughing” comedy!).
October 6, 2006
Trish
At 10:53 am Trish said:
Perfect!!! I love the gap in the alien’s teeth and the meanspirited look it’s got..LOL.
October 6, 2006
At 12:11 pm SweetSoaps said:
Yes Maria is right about you 14..well put. What I tell you all the time 14. I thought her head sort of looks like a guitar pick…only there is no musical talent in that guitar pick!
October 6, 2006
At 1:00 pm Demon Kitty said:
Fucking Madonna and her outrageous shit to try and convince us that she is a fucking trend setter and we all want to be like her. She looks like someone put a bowl on her head before attempting to channel Farah Fawcett, but yet having a “Buster Brown” flat top, a bowl, a head that is shaped like the head of a penis before the swollen foreskin in pulled back will fool us in to thinking that she hasn’t copied Farrah! How original Maddona, how clever, how glamorous! Her neck also reminds me of an asparagus stalk or better yet the shaft of a penis. I agree with Sharon Osborne: “one minute she’s a fucking whore, then she’s a fucking hindu, then she looks like a fucking dyke, then she’s a fucking catholic, then she looks like a fucking librarian, then she looks like an old whore again.” Go to hell Madonna, just please fucking give us a break and go to hell already! You bite dick and suck ass! I hate you and I want you to die! I am sick of seeing your face and your only claim to fame should be Janice Dickinson’s testament that you had the “most vicious body odor”. You stink Madonna! You fucking stink!
So much love,
Demon Kitty
October 6, 2006
At 2:49 pm Fritz said:
Unfortunately, the males of the species are beginning to look like porcupine stubble faced grease balls. So, males and females of the species will evolve to look very different. We’ll have females that look like classic grey aliens and males that look like — what? Jabba the Hut? Swamp Thing? Brandon Davis?
October 6, 2006
At 5:51 pm mellen said:
so true…lol that triangle.
October 6, 2006
At 7:06 pm Chansmom said:
*Sigh* Madonna, what a royal bore she has become. It’s always something. I didn’t care about her Sex Book from the early 90’s, I even peeked and was amazed at what great shape she was in, I didn’t think much about Kaballah, since no one but a true Jewish man would understand, and only they have the right to study it. Let the bored celebrity chase a quick fix and hand over the money. It’s not my money.
But after her making a big deal out of this mystical water the followers tout, and how it will cleanse radiation from a lake in Russia, I knew it, she’s lost all sense. And once again, 14, you called it. Tee hee.
October 6, 2006
At 8:43 am katie said:
14 you are too funny… not only is the picture of Mc Donna ( billions served) hysterical, but your commentary just cracked me up… You are so talented and you make so many people laugh..
once again… thanks!!!!
October 7, 2006
At 10:04 am phlegmfatale said:
All I know is that on the original Out cover, Madonna is definitely sporting an Angry Inch, and that’s so 4 years ago. I thought she had better control of her image than that - a better grip on what she allowed to be published. Then again, maybe she’s been drinking her own Kool-Aid and thinks she has no bad angles. eek.
Anyway, your alien-treatment is completely on-the-mark. Brilliant! The thing about the big heads on sticks in tabloid - apparently they’ve lost all perspective and don’t see how sub-human they are looking. I would have expected Madonna to be less in lockstep with this hideous trend. So sad, the crashing-to-earth of an icon. There’s something to be said for growing old with a little dignity, and few stars do that anymore. Even Lauren Bacall seems way more hip to me in her Tuesday Morning and Fancy Feast commercials than the desperately cloying I’m-still-young-dammit Madonna. *sigh*
October 7, 2006
wily coyote
At 10:41 am wily coyote said:
Hey it’s Star Jones on the cover of that Esquire mag. It looks exactly like her except maybe her eyes would bug out more in the future from looking for all that free loot she’s so fond of.
October 7, 2006
At 5:48 pm Demon Kitty said:
I am back and I just have to say that I am fucking glad I never went to her concerts or bought her albums (her first being the exception). She will be 70 years old, hanging from a cross, and fucking a black man at the same time in her own bizarre Las Vegas variety show.
Demon Kitty
October 8, 2006
Della
At 8:04 pm Della said:
Dammit Xenu, this time you’ve gone too far!
But nice work, 14
October 8, 2006
At 9:05 pm Gloria Sternum said:
I was equally surprised by the actual Madonna and Janet Jackson photos. You didn’t change them much at all. Life is too weird for art sometimes.
October 8, 2006
At 9:08 pm deanna said:
I suspect the outfit that gave us the janet jackson alien-esque cover felt nothing less than defeated to find their pun on pin-ups had been unmasterfully recreated to resemble something like art imitating phoniness. None the less, what I do observe is despite how much trouble the photoshopping whores goto, they still leave the primitive monkey fingers on these womenish women, thus making any attempt to evolve their subjects seem like some cheap attempt at something or the other.
October 8, 2006
At 5:38 am Rebecca Butler said:
Congrats on being featured in the Sunday New York Times yesterday.
October 9, 2006
At 6:40 am Julia_Claudine_Deveraux said:
OMG, I thought I was the only one who thought something was weird about the shape of her face. She’s always been an ugly, overrated skank who stole all of her “original” ideas from Black and Latinos without giving proper credit. But instead of being a professional “biter”, she’s now just plain fucking strange.
October 9, 2006
At 12:53 pm Eva said:
You know, I did always wonder about Madonna, and now that you brought it up, she does look and appear really scarrrry!
October 9, 2006
At 2:37 pm Imnotstopping said:
Great piece on you in the New York Times!
Congratulations!
October 9, 2006
At 12:36 am Morrigan said:
How I long for the boy-toy days. Madonna, just go away. You make me feel ancient!
14, kudos…kudos. You’ve created a great Halloween mask for me!
October 10, 2006
At 3:45 am azuka said:
Hahahahaha She really looks like an alien… You`re so funny 14!
godd luck!
October 11, 2006
At 10:53 pm Aoleon said:
I hate Madonna! Ughhhh
-Aoleon
http://www.aoleonthemartiangirl.com
October 11, 2006
At 10:53 pm Aoleon said:
Madonna makes us aliens look really really bad!
-Aoleon
October 11, 2006
At 1:38 pm Pepper said:
THANK YOU, 14, for pointing out how Madonna’s head has become so oddly mishapen! I was beginning to think that I was the only one noticing. I mean, really, what is she DOING?
October 12, 2006
Damien
At 4:34 pm Damien said:
I mean what the hell, whats the point of shopping up the pictures, airbrushing, editing
why do these mags just keep pushing these fake
ideal images whats the point.
October 12, 2006
At 9:38 pm Long Island Irish said:
Oh My God! Tom Cruise is turning Hollywood onto his way of thinking! Run everyone run!
October 15, 2006
At 11:02 pm jame said:
Cool pictures!
July 7, 2007