Filed under: Celebrities

Anna Nicole Smith’s ex-boyfriend and aspiring baby daddy, Larry Birkhead, filed suit in Los Angeles Superior Court Monday, demanding that Smith return to the U.S. with newborn daughter Dannielynn Hope and submit the baby to a paternity test.

Birkhead’s lawsuit contains “damning” allegations that Smith was taking methadone, and that she fled to the Bahamas to keep her baby from being tested for drugs. Birkhead also alleged that Stern is claiming to be Dannielynn’s father for his own financial gain, and claims that Smith had asked a third unidentified man to say that he was the father of her child — a plan that didn’t work out because the man had already had a vasectomy.
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None of this should come as a surprise. In fact, it’s almost to be expected. Because, you see, it’s a well-documented fact that double-named girls aren’t exactly blessed in the parental department. First there was Frances Bean. Then Bobbi Kristina. And something tells me Anna Nicole didn’t have the best guidance, either. (I’m perceptive like that.)

And now poor, poor Dannielynn. Just makes you want to flee with the little girl and chop off that ill-fated “Lynn” before it’s too late, doesn’t it?