Filed under: Bloated Oil Heir
Gallery of the Absurd is pleased to announce the first in our series of “Celebrity Stench: The Glut of Celebrity Perfumes.” Did you know that celebrity fragrances represent the fastest growing segment of the perfume market? Everyone from Lindsay Lohan, Posh and Becks, to Marilyn Manson has or is planning to launch yet another fragrance to pollute the air. Racing to cash in on his dwindling “firecrotch” fame, Brandon Davis has announced his new fragrance, Huile de Firecrotch. This oil-based perfume features top notes of dusty oil fields, profuse sweat and greasy In-n-Out burgers and finishes with a faint odor of Paris Hilton. Available now at Wal-Mart, but like most celebrity fragrances, you might just be able to find Huile de Firecrotch clogging up trash piles and landfills across the country. Medium: Ink on paper, digital color.
Posted by 14 ♦ September 25, 2006
At 12:32 pm DonnaJEM said:
Is that a firey crotch at the top of that glittery oil rig?
Even If I smelled like a dead body I wouldn’t wear anything with his name or likeness on it. Hehehehe.
September 25, 2006
At 1:19 pm heather said:
Hey this is great! I heard this morning on the radio that Nicky Hilton’s boyfriend(from Entourage) punched him in the face at a soiree, becasue he was running his mouth again! Ya hoo, that was the best news I heard all weekend! I hope he ran out of the party crying like the spoiled oily brat he is!
September 25, 2006
At 2:04 pm Cyclops Kitten Natividad said:
You know, that would probably go over big here in Calgary, what with all the oil companies and beige-haired office bimbos reeking of perfume on the LRT in the morning.
September 25, 2006
At 3:39 pm Texas said:
LOL! Wonder how much it will retail for? $1.99? This probably would be popular with oil rig workers!
September 25, 2006
At 5:14 pm phlegmfatale said:
Beautifully done, 14. Brandon Davis is such a greasy, doughy slimebucket. The insanely wealthy people of Western civilization need to remember the culture of vulgar excess that toppled the aristocracy in France all those years ago. In short, the self-anointed “elite” in our country need to lock their vapid offspring away in institutions - lest the plebs become restive.
September 25, 2006
At 6:03 pm Crees_dahl said:
Anyone ever notice that he resembles Elvis? Not the hot, young Elvis but the fat, bloated, stoned out of his mind in a rhinestone cape Elvis. Or is it just me???
Good job 14. I can smell his greasy, sweaty stench from here.
September 25, 2006
At 9:22 am Morrigan said:
I can almost smell the greasy stench of Brandon through the monitor. Icky!
Seriously thanks, 14! Why is it celebrities assume we wanna stink like them?
September 26, 2006
At 1:23 pm Candice said:
While reading the advertisement, I thought I saw his sweat dripping out of the corner of my eye. You are truly an arteeeest!
September 26, 2006
At 6:09 pm Demon Kitty said:
Ach, Mensch!!! I can smell his sweaty sebum fonk from here! Ugh! He probably doesn’t bathe after he bumps uglies with Paris! Ew! Once again, thank God the toilet isn’t far from the computer!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Demon Kitty
September 26, 2006
At 8:00 pm licoricepirate said:
hahhahahahaaaa!!!
i love this. xD
September 26, 2006
At 10:55 am Scout Finch said:
I was at an Emmy “gifting suite” this year and Paris Hilton had a booth set up to give away her odor, I mean her scent. Of course she wasn’t actually there; a bunch of her lackeys were. No one wanted to actually take the perfume. It was sort of pathetic. I imagine the bottles will be either showing up on eBay or will be gag gifts this Christmas. Damn, 14. Now you know what I am getting you.
For the record, the hot item was not the Paris perfume — it was the Dirt Devil cone-shaped handheld vacuum. Oh, and the Just in Case condom holder.
September 27, 2006
At 11:47 am Red OnTheHead said:
Oh, this is just beautiful satire. You have a wonderful future as a pop culture commentator through your art.
September 27, 2006
At 12:02 pm Long Island Irish said:
Ewww! I hate this guy I really hope he gets an STD from Paris!
September 27, 2006
At 4:59 pm Javelin said:
You’re on to something, 14. All Brandon has to do is squeeze out sections of his hair and there you have it– oil, sweat, and the lingering smell of fast food and paris hilton.
BTW, what’s up with desperate housewives putting out a perfume? does anyone really wanna be like “oh, yeah i’m wearing the desperate housewives perfume! it’s called “soccer mom” and it’s totally classy.”
September 27, 2006
Ambika B
At 12:39 pm Ambika B said:
Always so apt. This is perfect & hilarious.
September 28, 2006
Damien
At 6:58 pm Damien said:
Damn can’t wait for the magazine samples, though one would have to think of an excuse for rubbing a magazine against ones nether region.
September 28, 2006
At 5:26 pm Jenn F. said:
I bet he’s got his own little oily crabby.
September 30, 2006
At 8:41 am cherise said:
he makes me retch; i think you went easy on the grease
October 1, 2006