Filed under: Tom Cruise, Tom Cruise Art
Since so many people are debating over whether Suri Cruise looks Asian or not, I decided to include a little Asian influence in her portrait. Many bloggers made jokes about little Suri’s “Elvis” hair, so I’ve added a shiny black pompadour and sideburns. There are also other secret symbols based on more controversial rumors included as well. Medium: Gouache and watercolor on paper.
Posted by 14 ♦ September 7, 2006
Ethan
At 4:39 am Ethan said:
It’s 6;30am…I must have woken up someone in my building from laughing so hard!!! The Claw!! “Tiny Elvis has left the building”.
September 7, 2006
At 4:49 am Ken IRB said:
You guys are great! Funny Stuff! I was rolling on the floor laughing out loud! Keep up the great work! I enjoyed everything on your site… Its about time some fun was had at the cost of these rich spoiled brats!
September 7, 2006
Jujupiter
At 5:00 am Jujupiter said:
Of course! The volcanoes! This is where evil lord Xenu threw the bodies of poor alien prisoners!
September 7, 2006
At 5:17 am Katie V. said:
A beautiful and most amusing portrait! Wow, that was fast, too–the pics haven’t been out very long. Love the details, especially that claw hand in the foreground!
September 7, 2006
Anonymous
At 6:01 am Anonymous said:
ha ha ha
September 7, 2006
At 6:03 am tee said:
thats funny Suri looks like Kates ex Mr.Klein
September 7, 2006
At 6:15 am Nia said:
Oh that’s perfect. You have captured her likeness very well. I love the hair.
Now if only her babygro was a sequinned white jumpsuit…
September 7, 2006
At 6:17 am Brianna said:
I love it…
September 7, 2006
At 6:20 am Nia said:
Also, I love the fact that Tom looks like he’s stealing the baby -spiriting her away beneath his coat.
Very my preciousssss…
September 7, 2006
At 6:33 am blondie said:
Suri with the fringe on top, indeed! So now that Maverick is being financed by amusement parks, does officially qualify him as a carnie? If so, this should help to explain the freak-show that is his current state of affairs. But for God’s sake, only a small man would put a wiglet on a stolen baby! I’ve seen enough! Someone needs to call the authorities. If that poor child has to wear her wig for the next few years of her life, well, in the Midwest we call it abuse. I need to take a pill.
September 7, 2006
At 7:02 am Moonmaid said:
Nicely done! Is that a Scientologist alien emerging from the volcano? Tom’s evil claws and the mother ship are nice touches!
I actually think the baby looks like Mom. Thank heavens it does not have the insipid Cruise smirk.
September 7, 2006
At 7:47 am DonnaJEM said:
You made TomKat look more like Chris Knight and Adrianna Curry. And that is one CREEPY hand.
But little Suri is ROCKEN that Elvis hair!!
September 7, 2006
Justice Fruitcake
At 7:54 am Justice Fruitcake said:
my laughing Buddha of an artist, I love how the ray shooting from Xenu’s spaceship is pink. nice touch.
September 7, 2006
At 8:12 am karenology said:
Little Suri looks quite fetching as an Elvis impersonator.
September 7, 2006
At 8:55 am Noelegy said:
I was thinking about the inevitable comments you get about using your gift for more positive pursuits, and the only thing I could think of was this: George Carlin is (in my opinion, and I could also bring up Bill Hicks) enormously funny. Would these critics rather him use his wit for say, writing children’s books?
That being said, love this newest offering to the altar of celebrity snark. I love Katie’s whopperjawed* face. Suri having Elvis hair is somehow completely perfect. I admit I was waiting for others to point out the hidden references, but are the 8’s in Tom’s inner kimono somehow significant?
*Southern for off-kilter, askew
September 7, 2006
At 11:50 am Crees_dahl said:
Oh my lawd! He is loosing his mind more and more every day… And we are so lucky to have you to document this and the sham that is their relationship, biological baby, and cult affiliation.
Freaks!
September 7, 2006
At 12:51 pm evil toner said:
Maybe it’s just me but the baby looks like Steven Stills. Is he hoping his surrogate kids can play with David Crosby’s?
September 7, 2006
At 4:04 pm azu said:
Hahahahaha! So funny! The baby is sooo cute!! ♥
September 7, 2006
Damien
At 5:10 pm Damien said:
Hey the lil imp looked gorgeous. Although having thought about it, you know I think the poor little thing looks like Liza Minelli.
September 7, 2006
At 6:40 pm a.murkin said:
Was this at all influenced by the work of Hokkusai? His 38(?) views of Mt. Fuji are an integral part of his collective work, and since this event is put into apocalyptic perspective it is only fitting that in your painting the Mountain is about to blow.
September 7, 2006
rebecca
At 9:37 pm rebecca said:
I love this portrait, it’s very funny, especially the Elvis personification! But is it just me or does Tom look like Luke Wilson in this (only with some heavy eyebrows)? I’ve seen a picture somwhere on the net where he’s making this same expression…Okay, so I must be losing it ’cause I haven’t heard any Wilson/Holmes rumors traveling the blogosphere, but I’m just putting it out there…
September 7, 2006
At 10:00 pm shadealuv said:
Please, 14, do a Paris Hilton mugshot.
September 7, 2006
At 11:01 am Demon Kitty said:
In desperate attempts to look for the hidden symbols of these controversial rumors, I was wondering if the circles on Tom’s inner kimono were actually the man symbols intersected to signify gay male relationships. One can guess …Never mind the pink triangle coming down from the space ship. It was all done with a turkey baster.
So Much Love,
Demon Kitty
September 8, 2006
14
At 11:29 am 14 said:
Demon Kitty and Justice Fruitcake:
Thanks for noticing the PINK ray shaped as a TRIANGLE shooting out of the Thetan UFO. heh.
Oh, and this version of the painting is unfinished. I rushed to get it posted in time for the Suri hoopla. The finished version will appear in a book. Stay tuned for details!
and yes, UKIYO-E was a major influence for this image.
Thanks for your comments everyone - YOU make my blog entertaining.
14
September 8, 2006
At 7:00 pm midevil said:
Now that Elvis has been given a second chance, what will he do? I hope Lisa Marie doesn’t try to kidnap him–oh wait, she’s a scientologist too, right?
September 8, 2006
At 9:20 pm Chansmom said:
Oh my!!!! Lol! Very good work, 14. I have to admit, when I saw the picture, I couldn’t believe what a pretty baby Suri is. Too bad about her goof ball parents.
September 8, 2006
At 2:13 am Viper Tetsu said:
Is it just me, or does this moppet look too old and fully-formed to be a (relative) newborn? I think that Tom hired some cigar-chomping middle-aged little person to play his daughter.
Like I need to say so about the portrait, but BRILLIANT. Again.
September 9, 2006
At 11:33 am LALA said:
Tom looks like Bruce Willis in that one! LOL
September 9, 2006
Silver
At 4:18 pm Silver said:
Hilarious as usual! I love the Elvis hair and the Claws.
Does the exploding volcano have something to do with Paramount dumping Cruise?
September 9, 2006
At 7:52 pm JV said:
Suri looks so cute. But I thought that this alien from a “so-called” planet or so would exist. LOL!
September 9, 2006
At 5:30 pm Bucky Turco said:
All Hail Queen 14!
September 10, 2006
At 9:16 am pepper said:
Love the Elvis hair! I wish the “real” Suri were this cute.
September 11, 2006
At 8:04 pm Poof said:
September 11, 2006
At 9:19 am K said:
Tom looks like Greg Brady here.
September 12, 2006
CCC
At 2:18 pm CCC said:
Tom Cruise looks a lot like Christopher Knight of The Brady Bunch in this rendering. Lol! Good job.
September 12, 2006
At 6:26 am Elisa said:
Oh, oh- my goodness! So funny! Brilliant!
September 13, 2006
At 11:39 am Drama Queen said:
I love the way you’ve noticed Tom’s disappearing hairline…lol. He now uses a “comb-forward” instead of a “comb-over”
September 13, 2006
At 1:31 pm Waya said:
WOW!! I just found your blog via dribblingwitt and I’m just amazed at how talented you are! The artworks are awesome! So witty too!
September 14, 2006
At 1:33 pm Waya said:
I found you via dribblingwitt, and I’m enthralled by the awesome artworks and the wittiness of your writing. Great blog!
September 14, 2006
At 8:48 pm The JJ said:
I love the sinister beauty of the claw hand… and the goofy, deer-in-headlights, vapid look on her face. Your art is so right-on, and everything those 2 (now 3) are about is so wrong. Is it preposterous to think that someone could engineer a fake love affair, fake pregnancy, and “baby”? Absolutely–but what’s more preposterous is that the fools actually believe we should lap it all up. And that’s what’s beautiful about work like yours–its subtle irreverence is so healthy and needed at a time when we’re supposed to be thrilled that an arrogant idiot and his zombie have “propagated.”
September 14, 2006
At 9:48 pm Long Island Irish said:
LOL it’s so funny because I just learned that they have a Scientology Center in New York; on Broadway–where else? There’s one place on Broadway I will certainly be avoiding…..good drawing 14!
September 14, 2006
At 6:47 pm matherson said:
jajajajajaja , nice work girl!
September 20, 2006
At 12:59 pm Carla said:
Speaking of babies, where is your fabulous drooling Shiloh Jolie portrait???
Did a gang of psychotic Brangelina fangirls threaten to screech like banshees outside your door until you took it off the site? (Glad I saved it!)
September 28, 2006