Filed under: Paris Hilton, Paris Hilton Art
The following announcement is written in Engrish:Sanrio gracefully announce in a recently a Paris Hilton version of Hello Kitty doll. Only available in Japan. Makes the hoards of U.S. Paris Hilton fans filled with sadness and regret…until now. Gallery of Absurdly make Paris Hilton Doll for American fans today because your heart are thirsting for wishness to be like Paris. She realistically created with dress pulled up to show scary parts underneath when dancing in nightclub or showing offness to paparazzi of camera. Plincess Paris comes with two friends: Crabby and Tinklebell. Tinklebell pup having sadness because she used as fashion accessory instead of like other dogs. Her wishness is to frolicsome in breezy meadow with refresh, but Paris not let her. Crabby live under dress of Paris Hilton and enjoy happy time with plenty of air and sunshine. Paris like to shamelessly show Crabby off and one sees photos of him all over internet if one should look closely with braveness. Wishness of careful feeling of satisfaction beauty? Please buy doll after acknowledgement of scornful. Your dreams come true in spirit of happy vapid.Illustration created using design concepts inspired by Japanese product packaging and design principles of “Engrish“.
Posted by 14 ♦ August 13, 2006
At 5:03 pm Demon Kitty said:
Oh dear god, I hope the lid to the toilet is up ………..
August 13, 2006
At 5:59 pm Susan said:
Absolutely Hilarious! I laughed out loud reading it. Great Job!
August 13, 2006
At 6:19 pm Carole said:
14 - this is genious!! How do you think up these things! Brilliant how you came up with the little crab companion and I love the lazy eye. You captured her just perfectly. (Of course, someone is bound to post a complaint to you about the Japanese-accent-like text, which you so accurately and creatively portray!!) Anyhow, I read about the Paris Hilton Hello Kitty last week and I thought - “what has this world come to?”. Thank you so much for this. What a hoot!! This one’s really special 14 — a real gem! Keep up the great work.
August 13, 2006
cheek
At 6:32 pm cheek said:
BWAHAHAHAHA!!!!! oh, and ewwww! to the crabs is the lil sucker battery operated?
August 13, 2006
At 6:35 pm Viper Tetsu said:
“Crabby…enjoy happy time with plenty of air and sunshine.”
That line alone has me peeing myself.
14, she pound head with nail exact!
August 13, 2006
At 6:36 pm theidlereceptionist said:
This may be it.
This may be your magnum opus so far.
Mindfuckingly brilliant.
August 13, 2006
At 7:07 pm Heather said:
That is so hilarious! I love the little crab. Engrish is so amusing too.
August 13, 2006
Anners
At 7:13 pm Anners said:
priceless! your chinglish is so perfect I nearly cried…
August 13, 2006
At 7:39 pm Pablo Vazquez said:
14 u did it again. Another brilliant version of this talentless/red-carpet/celebrity.I hope u keep making us enjoy with your vision of this traShLUT.
August 13, 2006
At 7:42 pm Barb said:
Oh my God! 14, you really outdid yourself this time. It’s absolutely perfect! You nailed her wonky eye, nose, lips, and the Japanese packaging style perfectly. I love it, love it, love it.
August 13, 2006
At 8:51 pm Morrigan said:
14, once again… you owe me a keyboard! Gotta love Crabby!
August 13, 2006
At 9:56 pm Texas said:
As always, you nailed it every single time! Lovin’ it!
August 13, 2006
Lisa
At 5:23 am Lisa said:
You are an idiot 14!
August 14, 2006
Alexander Nevermind
At 5:29 am Alexander Nevermind said:
I just spat my drink the fuck out of my mouth.
You boggle my mind with your brilliance.
August 14, 2006
At 6:24 am salmonella said:
Awesome! I have yet to see another artist as multi-faceted as you. How can you produce work or art so diverse in style? My enjoyment is immensely your blog!
August 14, 2006
At 6:27 am DonnaJEM said:
Hey!! I has surgery a week ago and I think I may have busted a stitch or two!!
This really is brilliant.
LOVE LOVE LOVE the dolly wonky eye.
I’ll be giggling all day.
August 14, 2006
At 7:15 am KP said:
Absolutely riotous! Engrish is unintentionally hilarious just like Paris Hilton. You captured both so eloquently.
August 14, 2006
At 7:17 am Candice said:
My eyes and brain almost cannot handle the gorgeousness before it. Just…thank you.
August 14, 2006
At 9:08 am kimmm said:
haha i love it.
August 14, 2006
At 9:11 am anouk said:
that rocks!!! i’ve been sad since i heard about the SanRio parisite doll, this makes me feel better. thank you.
August 14, 2006
At 9:46 am Long Island Irish said:
14 this is your best ever! I am ROTF!!!
August 14, 2006
Dave Hater
At 9:55 am Dave Hater said:
Paris Hilton—whose family’s hotels employ many, many people named Dave—has never looked so good.
Go 14!
August 14, 2006
Anonymous
At 10:42 am Anonymous said:
I almost spit out my lunch laughing. This tops the TomRat Family Picture as my favorite piece of work. Fantastic!!
August 14, 2006
At 10:47 am Javelin said:
your paris hilton projects always crack me up because you get her face exactly right. the other night on conan they had paris hilton postal stamps and they looked nothing like her. i thought to myself “14 could’ve made those so much better.”
i love the exclamation point on the package! that is so Japanese.
i can just see a little Japanese girl holding a paris doll in one hand and a nicole ritchie lollipop in the other.
August 14, 2006
At 11:25 am Crees_dahl said:
I rike it! Joo so creysi!!!
August 14, 2006
At 1:29 pm Jennifer said:
Best Paris-related thing EVER EVER EVER!
August 14, 2006
At 1:38 pm claire booth luce said:
So funny.. This is great!
August 14, 2006
At 2:02 pm Liz Brown said:
“She realistically created with dress pulled up to show scary parts underneath.” I can’t get enough of that line (becuse it’s so true). I laugh out loud every time I read it. Just brilliant. One of your best.
August 14, 2006
At 3:27 pm Krapo said:
Totally dig the left eye. Poifect.
Only thing wrong: The crabs: There are 6,872; at the very least. But I know you did not have enough time to draw all of them… or enough space.
August 14, 2006
At 8:01 pm Wisa said:
Wove, Wove, wove the site. Lefty eye had all of us balling with wafter. Please consider doing a show in Wos Angeless. Best of Wuck to you both!
August 14, 2006
Sarah
At 11:18 pm Sarah said:
hahahahahahahahahahaha
ahahahah
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhahahaha
YES.
August 14, 2006
At 6:16 am Evolna said:
Ha,ha!And i thought i’m the other one sick of seeing crabby around!
August 15, 2006
At 6:43 am MrsJoseGoldbloom said:
I wonder what the spider is saying?
August 15, 2006
At 9:14 am Geoff said:
Knocked it out of the park!
August 15, 2006
Summer A
At 9:26 am Summer A said:
YES YES YES, your best piece EVER.
August 15, 2006
At 2:16 pm maddie mad said:
Brilliant. You have made the rest of today worth living. Thank you. (sob) That was one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen. My sides are stitched from laughter.
Keep up the excellent work.
August 15, 2006
At 2:50 pm Bella said:
Not saying your work before this isn’t AMAZING, but this is the best fucking thing I’ve seen ever and your absolute best work! I love it.
August 15, 2006
At 4:06 pm studboi69 said:
HAHAHAHAHAHA! The Japanese frickin’ rule! They’ve totally hit the nail! I love the looks on her pet chihuahua and the crab!
August 15, 2006
At 4:21 pm midevil said:
Crabby must comes with accessories!
August 15, 2006
syn
At 9:41 pm syn said:
the crab is saying “wee! i’m gonna get some exercise　and then i’ll be right back.” im not sure how to translate the heading. something like, ‘you too can be a drunkard.’ and i think the writing above crabby and tinkerbell is gibberish, but maybe somebody here knows better than me…
August 15, 2006
Sylvia
At 1:50 am Sylvia said:
Soooo great!
But shouldn’t it be called
“The Palis Hilton Doll for you??”
August 16, 2006
At 8:55 am Andrea said:
hahahahahahahahah
I used to collect Hello Kitty stuff, like, 20 years ago, and that is sooooo perfect.
Her beauty is fading cuz she is photographed so much her soul really is evaporating and she doesnt know who she is anymore and that dolly with the expresionless face and lift-my-skirt function of the body tells it all.
I hope she has a good identity crisis soon. but that will never happen!! Not as long as there are distractions of fame and the material world. Thank you for helping us laugh about it.. and laugh and laugh til we tinkle …
August 16, 2006
At 12:27 pm Deanna said:
14 you so brilliant!
August 16, 2006
At 5:25 pm jbonz said:
You hateful, hateful BASTARD!
Keep up the good work.
August 16, 2006
McAvoy
At 8:26 pm McAvoy said:
This is the funniest thing i’ve seen in months. If Paris Hilton was a cartoon character, THIS is exactly how she would look like, especially the one small right eye, funny nose and clown lips!
August 16, 2006
At 10:51 pm Aimee said:
OMG!!! perfect—from the wonky eye, to the penis nose, to the hoard of animals! hands down the best one EVER!!!
August 16, 2006
Dianne
At 6:34 am Dianne said:
Best.Absurd.Ever.
Poor little Tinklebell.
August 17, 2006
At 8:21 am Belle said:
OMG, this is too perfect.. This is your masterpiece, 14! Has the Louvre expressed interested yet? ^_- I want it! Do you think it will ever be for sale??? How much do some of your pieces normally go for?
August 17, 2006
Anonymous
At 11:20 am Anonymous said:
I like the artistic license 14 takes on this one: Crabby looks kind of lonely but we all know that in real life Crabbys’s got a lot of company.
August 17, 2006
At 2:50 pm mc78 said:
Love the nose! It looks phallic.
August 17, 2006
Damien
At 4:37 pm Damien said:
Totally wonderful, toooooo funny 14. Kick’n work as per usual, very crisp. God I think I’ll give this years soft shell crab festival a miss.
August 17, 2006
At 5:53 pm Thisisbogomip said:
I’m in love with this picture. It’s hilarious! It made me laugh out loud, especially since I’m going to Japan next month. Truely awesome.
August 17, 2006
At 12:33 am Kelsey said:
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
I agree.
August 18, 2006
At 7:04 am JP said:
Its a masterpiece.. I can’t believe how brilliantly you’ve captured Paris through Japanese anime / engrish.
You have mad props.
August 18, 2006
At 3:27 pm desnizzle said:
Wishing I can get this fun sunshine product? Its humor makes my laughing bottom ache! Please continue your truth ridicule on starry people.
(Translation: I wish this thing was for real! I laughed my ass off. Keep showing off the truth behind these celebrities!)
August 18, 2006
At 6:30 pm DistressedJeans said:
So funny, I like the Japanese inflections.
That reminds me of the photo I doctored a bit of Paris with crabs scuttling out of her cooter.
Your picture is awesome, as always!
xo
Distressed
August 18, 2006
At 9:46 am Wolf said:
*dies laughing*
August 19, 2006
At 3:32 pm the boy said:
Holy shit… amazing. I’m impressed. This must be the only time I’ve had any non-hate-fuelled reaction to something with Paris Hilton’s name tied to it. Well done!
August 19, 2006
At 5:23 pm hello kitty hell said:
worst part is that it’s actually popular - god save us all (and me in particular)…
August 19, 2006
At 9:41 pm Jessica said:
Can’t. Stop. Fucking. Laughing.
August 20, 2006
At 10:58 am Manola BBB said:
Hysterical!
And yeah, it’s clearly not Mr. Crabby in its sex toy incarnation!
August 21, 2006
At 11:15 am Rob Dorn said:
This is your best.
You are a GENIUS!!!!
August 21, 2006
At 1:26 pm peach said:
LOL!priceless!esp crabby!!!!
August 21, 2006
At 1:27 pm Stoney said:
Brilliant. Absolutely f*cking genius. Join mensa.
August 21, 2006
At 1:37 pm Disruptive Hair said:
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
This is effing brilliant!
August 21, 2006
swirlogirl
At 3:56 pm swirlogirl said:
HAHAHAH fantastic!
August 21, 2006
At 8:33 pm kristin said:
omg the wonky eye strikes again, i can die happy now!
August 21, 2006
At 2:11 am Liz said:
This shit is absolutely hilarious. Nice job.
August 22, 2006
At 10:54 am Steve said:
Funny, but your version engrish is too forced. You get a solid B. And who said Chingrish? That’s poor taste.
August 22, 2006
At 11:17 am Rufus said:
Engrish. Hahahahahaha!! This is awesome.
August 22, 2006
At 12:47 pm Connie said:
I think this is the absolute funniest thing I have ever seen, pure genius
August 24, 2006
At 1:46 pm Disco said:
This Language is so racist but I cant stop laughing. Ive IM’d this to everyone I know.. hahahah. I can only imagine the little Asian kid cartoon about Crabbies city living under Paris’ dress. It would look like that Teletubbie world. Instead of a baby sun shining down so brightly onto Crabbie and her friends.. It would be Paris’ chocolate Starfish winking. Gross I know.
August 24, 2006
At 9:41 pm nana said:
ahhhh amazing… this almost makes me able to accept the fact my favourite makers of japanese trinkets are actually producing a freaking doll of the damned skank.
August 26, 2006
Tibby
At 12:12 am Tibby said:
Awwww… I want one! ^____^ It’ll look great in my ugly-or-cute collection!
Right next to the Owen Wilson and Rod Stewart dolls.
August 27, 2006
At 7:15 am madamemedeasmilk said:
someone should really put her away for making little girls think she is a role model.She is a stupid wonkey eyed praying mantis.
September 9, 2006
At 10:06 am Kent Mangold said:
Oh my God! - you nailed this one babe!
September 9, 2006
At 6:31 am azu said:
Oooh! Gosh! So cute!
September 14, 2006
At 6:56 pm matherson said:
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
September 20, 2006
At 10:58 am Honor said:
Filled with vely big impressionness for shameress Palis ploduct who show scary parts, but having unhappy to your uncareful of Engrish of good Japanese people. But belly laughing all over.
October 5, 2006
At 10:57 am endroo G said:
I think Paris need a boob job.
November 26, 2006
Jeff
At 8:54 pm Jeff said:
its funny and well done but the engrish is a bit over the top.. it feels like an american spoofed it.. its just far too purposely imperfect
nice job tho
November 29, 2006
At 9:50 pm sparks said:
uh. its not that good.
what’s wrong with you people?
November 30, 2006
At 9:31 am nip said:
CRabby should be CLabby!!!!
December 1, 2006
At 10:29 am Paul -V- said:
You can retire your blog now. I don’t know if this can ever be out-done.
This is a Mangum Opus.
December 3, 2006
Trav-Diggity
At 4:35 pm Trav-Diggity said:
Oh man, I think I just ROR’d ( Raughed out Roud)
December 3, 2006
Josh G
At 11:05 am Josh G said:
nasty girl
December 6, 2006
At 10:13 pm riki the dark said:
Kawaii ( Soo cute! ). This is the one and only Paris Hilton thing that I will ever like!
March 1, 2007